America The not so Beautiful...

I tell you this past week has really been draining and just so uneasy... I hate the events that has happened.. I know last week I talked about Mr. Sterling.. Then right after that Mr. Castile lift ended in the hands of a Police Officer.. Then the killing of 5 officers in Dallas.. I tell you Friends that I grew up with really showed me their true colors.. I am glad that they did.. It gave me a sense of ease.

This world really need peace... It is going to take time and I don't see it in my lifetime..
This is something I wrote on my status on Facebook...

"Hey Faces... I can't say this is a good morning because I woke up PISSED... I have slept on and I've prayed on this.. I might lose some friends, I might lose some family members.. I'm just TIED! I changed my ways of thinking about 20 years ago. I did it for my way of life and not anyone elses.

Everyone wants us to sing Kum Ba Ya and hold hands and be subdued... I get it. I want to live in the world where I can live peacefully .. I don't want to be judged because I wear my African Garb and my keep my head in a turban... I am what you can Black as a person can get... My way of thinking, my way of life, and the way I dress. I can love all people and give them respect but because of the way I look and act some might look at me as a threat...

It seems like I have to say this over and over and over....

You don't know how it feels to be Black and in America if you aren't.. You just DON'T.. White Privileges is real... Back when I was working and I was good at my job and it was time for me to be promoted a manager asked another one "Do you trust her with this job?" "The regional manager at the time sent a email out to the company stating "Do you want someone like that Leading a Store"... Yea, I know all the things that were said about me... I am a Black chick with dreads... I am a threat (they think).. I went own to show them I am more than qualified to do my job and done it well at that... Weekly was getting emails about how well my office ran... I also got emails on how my customers loved and enjoyed me.. My name was mentioned all the time.. So am I really a threat?

This is not the 1st time this has happened in America... Those men was MURDERED... Then for SOME of YOU want to tarnish those Men name is RIDICULOUS! It's always they don't want to believe that it is some bad cops out here.. It is... No man deserves to be shot down that wasn't given no threat.. Alton Sterling WASN'T A CHILD MOLESTER he was 17 went the female was 15.. They both were kids.. So for SOME OF YOU TO SAY another child molester dead is a good thing... You just don't know how strong my side eye was...Him being behind on his child support.. Damn it man, he sold CD's... At least he was freaking trying... Hell, I sell cd's 3 to 5 dollars aint shyt....You all are being FUCKING judgmental... No one deserves to be murdered but SOME OF YOU want to justify this shyt.. CRAZY! I have lost all respect, just know that.. I will never be rude.. I will never say anything out the way.. Just know I have lost all respect...

When things like this happen WHITE GUILT gets all up in uproar... They think the NIGGERS about to show out.. Nah, man... We were raised on the teachings of MLK.. We are not crazy folks... Yea it's some dumb arses but that's in any race...
Bringing up black on black crime... "we kill where we live"... The media only show Black on Black crime because it gets ratings and because it is another way to paint a dark picture on our race.. Whites are perfect, Blacks are evil...? Remember it's always been this way in the media.. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't act like it doesn't exist... It does and we see this.. We see we aren't respected and we aren't valued... So this is why I always show images of black people.. I always so when we do good things in the world.... I sometimes feel I stand alone but damn it man... WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME! Get that in your head and you will understand how we feel..

Now, it's sad what happened in Dallas.. Again no one needs to lose their life. I hate it happened and I want this world to heal. I want Dallas to heal.. This being a national crisis though? It was a separate isolated indecent.. Cops killing unarmed or non threatening Black Men and Women been a national crisis in the last 6 years...(Don't want to admit that) Police Brutality been a national crisis since hell before I was born...(you wouldn't know if you aren't black or brown)..

I say 1 <3 span=""> Love at most of my statuses because I want that one love... I want to live together in peace and happiness,,, I have no hate in my body.. STOP THE JUDGMENTS.."

I swear everytime things like this happens you see people ugly faces... No we aren't going to live in a perfect world, I just wish it was a nice one...

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In My Thoughts: Social Unrest

We still having so many Black Men UNARMED being killed or shot at by Police or wanna be Cops.. It is like every time you turn on the News  there has been another person being killed by the Cops.. We never know when someone we Love will be murdered just by the act of  Racial Profiling.

There are so many families out here hurting because they lost someone in their lives through such.

Then you watch the News and see how some say that us as Black America bring it on ourselves. We have so much Black on Black crime in our community.. I heard somewhere a long time ago and I am not sure as to where.. "If you treat them like a savage beast, they will act as such".. How are these Young men suppose to feel? I have said before a lot of it does come from the environment in which they were raised, BUT the way some of the Cops patrol the neighborhoods, looking for trouble. I see how they act here and I live in a small town in South Carolina.. They call where all of us live Across the Tracks... They drive slow and stare at you like you done or about to do something.. The Ironic thing though, A lot of white people have moved over here now, CAUSE MORE HAVOC and you don't see the Cops riding by anymore.. They are over here a lot because either Me or a Neighbor is calling on them.. 

I want Fergerson to heal.. It is in my mind a Modern Day Rosewood. The town is never going to be the same and as of Last night 2 Cops were shot. So they are looking for the suspects (i betcha they will serve time for what they done). The city is in Ruins. I pray for them but I also see that a lot of the Black if they could will move out the city. Especially when you see that even the Police Department had so many Racist Emails and so forth. 

Like the song Michael Jackson had "They really don't care about us".. More and more I am starting to think this is to be true. Do they Hate us that much they want to get rid of us all. I pray that one day this world will all be called HUMANS that live in America. No more color categorizing. If we go back to the Early times of America, remember we were BROUGHT here against our will.. 

Then the Oklahoma University SAE Chant that has been bombarded the media as of late.  WOW! Is all I can say.. I wasn't upset about the Chorus more than I had been with the words in the lyrics.. The hanging from the tree... It made my blood boil.. Now the one leading the Chant apologized, but it really doesn't matter. They were saying that it was taught to them.. Ok if you know they words are hurtful and offensive, Why repeat it?

I believe we are in the days when there will never been Justice, Respect, Honor, and Love in this Country.. I will the word Hate never existed. 

I think I just need to be in my own little world.. I wish I had the ability to change the world.. 

The World we Live in.. The sign of the Times in America..

It seems as of late the Police has been on a roll. It's been going on for years now but it has taken a tole now. Just this year it seems that every time you turn on the news the Police has killed an unarmed Black man. Then the don't get charged with the murder. I tell you these cops are something else.

Just Friday night the shot a White Guy 10 times in Hollywood.. 

I just want to know when Enough is going to be Enough.. 

They are trained to disarm people without excessive force. So why are they so quick to pull the trigger now a days.. They aren't screening these people before the academy.

The Cop that killed that young boy in Ohio was once fired from one Police Department because he was deemed unfit to be a cop. So how did he manage to get another job.. That goes also for the Cop that kill Mike Brown, wasn't he fired from another department because of his racists views..

I pray for the world we live in. It's like when we (blacks) stand up for the injustice then some of our white counter parts think we are being racists and we are bringing out the race card. It irks me so much. Some want us not to say anything and push it under the rug.. Well I know for one, that is the problem.. We keep so bottled inside that it will continue to happen if we don't Stand Up..

Then the Black on Black crime deboggle. It doesn't have anything to do with this cause. We are taught by media and other races that we are animals and etc etc.. We are taught to hate ourselves and kill before being killed. It's sad but that is the reality of it all. Its the way they are raised and most of the time it is their environment that causes this.. It doesn't give the right for others to think that our lives doesn't matter.  There are plenty White on White crimes.. It's on the news all the time.. Especially when the family is in outs.. I see it everyday on the ID Channel, don't see anyone labeling them. 

We all watched that heart wrecking video of the attack on Mr Gardner.. I can't breathe..I can't breathe. Then one cop putting his knee on that man's head. It was so hurting to watch. The cop once again wasn't indicted. He although unlike the other cop apologized. I give my hats off to Mrs. Gardner.. I can't imagine how she feels.. I see that she didn't accept the cops apology, but do you blame her. When they heard he couldn't breathe they should have stopped..

When will this stop.. These crimes that they are alleged to have done is not worth their lives.. It doesn't make a bit of sense to me. We all got to know our rights and do something about this.. Police I respect them but there are some bad ones that takes their power and run with it.. 

It's like we need police to police the police....

Good Ole America Ways!! Where is the Justice!! Oh wait... There isnt any... Yesterday proved it...

February 2012 a young man was followed and killed to his death... July of 2013 the man that caused his murder, FREE... He was able to get a NOT GUILTY verdict... He also gets to have his gun that caused the death of 17 year of Trayvon Martin back in his possession.. Does it surprise me, NO! Does it hurt me, YES! The judicial system years on years haven't been fair...

After hearing about Trayvon's Death.. I was saddened that a young man lost his life.. I am saddened when any kid looses his/hers life... Children have the right to grow up and live there lives.. No one should take that away from them.. Trayvon lost his life because he was a Black Young Man. You can not tell me any different.. He was followed, hunted, and shot and all he had was some Tea and some Skittles.. WTF?

I didn't watch the trial because looking at his parents bared to much on my already emotional self... When I would see his parent talk to the media I would burst out in tears.. So I didn't want to see that any more.. I wanted to BELIEVE that NO ONE IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD FIND THIS MAN NOT GUILTY... Well 1st off having 6 jurors and not 12.. Have all women in which all were not mixed with different races... That to me was unfair in itself... Then to hear the defense say Trayvon cause his death.. WTF? Of course if a man was following me around while I am going home and approach me.. I AM GOING TO DEFEND MYSELF.. So if Trayvon attack this man, it was because he was in FEAR of his LIFE.. Why didn't George get in trouble for it..? The 911 dispatcher told him NOT to get out of his car.. The world we live in.. SMH..


So in today's society a BLACK MAN LIFE STILL HAS NO VALUE... It hurts to the core with me. Then everyone is talking about the Black on Black Crimes.. True in our community there are a lot of blacks killing blacks.. So in the white community, the Hispanic community, etc, etc.... This isn't the case at hand.. It is that a YOUNG BLACK MAN was being PROFILED as SUSPICIOUS...

I have always been FOR the PEOPLE.. I love my race and to see such disrespect toward us.. I SMH.. It has become top much for me.. I myself is trying to find peace and heal from this.. Last night after the verdict, I had to delete some people I once called my friend.. I've been waiting to do that because of the Hateful stuff he says about the President.. Then some of the hateful stuff he said last night.. I couldn't take no more.. His words shows me he is a BIGOT.. He is a evil, racist, asshole.. Then have the nerve to always smile, laugh, and hug me.. The same race of people you talk about are the same as me.. So it makes me to believe, in his eyes.. I AM A NIGGER TOO!!

So people are to stand.. Be more active in the community.. Get involved in the people you elected in to the local, state, and federal government.. I know even they can't be trusted but some way some how we can be more represented.. We need JUSTICE to become more morally correct than being depended on evidence..

I am going to continue to pray for Trayvon's Family... I don't know how they feel but to me it feels like I lost hope too.. I also pray for all the Black Families that had to deal with the death of a family member(s).. I also pray that BLACK MEN everywhere keep their heads up.. I want AMERICANS to unite and becoming more loving.. We got to make a difference.. We got to stop with the stereotypes, bigotry, the hate, and the judgement...

We need a better judicial system.. There need to be some improvements...