2020 the that year sucks!

 Man these last few months ugh! I truly wish come election day we will get NEW President... This Coronavirus has really took me for a loop. Thankfully I haven't caught it as far as I know. I do know back in late February I felt horrible for about 3 weeks. 

So much has been going on with me mentally and physically.. I am at the point as to where I am tired of being strong.. I am tired of being the family go to... I am tired of feeling like I am being obligated to do every freaking thing. 

I am my moms caregiver and you would think that my family would back up and stop depending on me. I keep telling them I have enough on my plate. It's like the more I fuss the worse it gets. I have been trying to find another place to move that is a little further away from some of them. I didnt want to because I don't want to many changes on my mom. I just feel like I wont get a peace of mind unless I do though, 

I have also been keeping my distance from the guy I have been talking to. I blame myself to believing that this time would be different. Well I can't really say that he wasn't trying. However I wanted more. I wanted him to be something I know he isn't capable of.  So i tried my best and i think he tried his best. So with everything I have going on I just believe it is better to just finally let it go. I love him more than I ever had in the past. It is just time... We will always be friends and always love one another. I feel that anyway because I know that he does.. I have to love me more to get the love I desire. I don't think it might ever be possible but I rather be alone than to feel like a person can't love me enough. He just has issues that he isn't dealing with and I can't take that anymore.. I feel just prayers is all I can do until he figures it out and get help.

Now this election... ugh! I said back when the Orange thing was running that turmoil was going to be upon us.. I didnt think that it was going to get this bad..  I just still cant believe folks voted for this... I also rooting for Jaime Harrison can get Mr. Graham out of the SC Senate.. Being from SC we see that Graham hasn't and won't ever do right.. He more worried about himself and his personal life. We need to get back to unity... 

 

Da Rona....

It is 2020 now and we are experiencing a Pandemic...  This virus that is called Covid-19, coronavirus, and what I call Da Rona. We are in some scary times.  Like a lot of us never experienced something like this.  It has put our lives in uproar. We have to social distance ourselves from other people. It also have it where we can't leave your house unless it is to go to work or to go to the grocery store. 

By me staying home being my mom's caregiver, I've really had to change my life.  I told my friends and family that they can not come to my house. I also had to get to the point where I am not allowing my boyfriend to come over.. (that is stressful) He is my sanity but we communicate through phone calls.  See he still has to work so that is the main reason why I am not allowing him.. The 1st of the month I was sick as a dog and I 1st  thought I had it... I was so scared.. I wasn't coughing but I had the fever and doing a lot of puking and diarrhea..

I truly pray that they find a cure and some type of prevention so we can get back to our normal. I am not much of a social person, I do like to hang out with friends when I can.  I also worry about my mom. I had to tell her aides not to come until they can put a end to this. I want to have my cook outs. I want to be able to go over my man's house and enjoy a break from my home 

So I pray that each of you are doing well in this troubling times . Don't forget to stay safe and keep your hands washed. I believe this will be okay in the end.