I call him "My Heaven"...

Have you just ever met someone that is a breath of fresh air... Someone who you believe truly understands you.. I swear that we have the coolest friendship.. I know that at one point it was some bumps in the road. It was just things that he was going through made him become so distant... Now since that is all behind us.. We been kicking it once again... It is not like before though.. It has been a little more of a deeper connection..

It has nothing to do with our physical chemistry... I knew from the 1st time I saw him as a grown man.. I was attracted to him. When we look at each other is was like MAN.. We did all that other stuff.. It was wonderful that is about how he got the title "My Heaven".. But since we had that brief time apart... Not only did we miss each other, we became more open.. We talk more and he seems to feel more comfortable talking to me about things...

I just can't describe how he makes me feel. I don't even know how to say the words either... We did say, well I said that I didn't want anything more than just a friendship with him.. Then just the other day, I didn't feel all that well. He came and just laid beside me and held me. I tell you I haven't had that in a long time. It became to the point where I was just a little upset when he left. Him just holding me gave me so much pleasure than having sex with him. He said, "I just wanted to come and check on you.. I wanted to make your day.. " I tell you having him him and him just holding me.. I felt really special..

"My Heaven" isn't perfect.. He is still a work in progress.. Other people might slander his name.. I just know that he might be many things to other people.. I just know he makes me feel alive.. He makes me smile.. He even keeps me comfortable when I am down.. I am glad to know him.. I am happy to have him as my friend...

I just wish I can keep him around, just to hold me and talk to me. It would be nice if at night I go to bed, I would have my friend laying right beside me.. I truly feel that he needs to be there...

Letting it all reflect...

 

It was back to work for me today. I did end up having a great weekend. It took me pushing myself out of the house on Saturday.  I never did make it to my father side of the family cookout. I really did want to go so I can see who else I am kin too. It seems like they are floating every where. I told my dad onetime his family is a bunch of whores *the men of course*.. LOL

I went out with my bestie..  Then another one of my friends from Georgia came up.. Went out to party and I can say we had a GREAT time. The only thing that was bothering me was the fact that my Georgia friend man was working my nerves. It seemed that he wanted and felt he needed a play by play of her where a bouts.  I tell you I wanted to curse him out so bad. Then he gets mad because her phone lost signal.  She did come back to where they were staying at a certain time. I tell you I am so happy I am single right now. That made me really not even want to be in a relationship. I even posted on my Facebook page, Thank you Jesus I am single.  What was so funny is that he commented on it... I was like go ahead stupid ass.. This man has cheated on her so many times until it is pathetic.  I guess they have an understanding.. I sure hell don't... 

Then Sunday went to two Cookouts. One just went and ate. Then other one just stopped by for a few drinks and chit chat. I was glad that I did get out the house. So good to be around good people. I can't wait until the weekend. I think I am going to do it up.. I want to go get so wasted.. LOL

Then I had one of the best conversations. See I am a closet freak. I love hearing things that has to do with sex. Hell I am a sexual being. I just can't help it one bit. We were talking about somethings. About over hearing someone have sex. Hearing the moans and groans just make ya moist and wanna masturbate or even join in the fun.. LOL  The only problem is one of the people I don't think I could get down with. They aren't my cup of tea.  Yet they want me to join on in.  I want to because it will get me a chance to be a little closer to someone I really really enjoy being with. So who knows.. You might get a play by play on what happens, only if I let it happen. 

I also FINALLY got to see my crush. It was almost 2 weeks since I last saw him. He came over last night after dropping his daughter off. He took her to see the fireworks. I was so happy to see him. He seen my mother at church yesterday and he asked about how I was doing. I don't know why he did such a thing, because I just talked to him the day before. My mother loves him to death. She likes that he has so much mannerism.  I told her I believe he is just scared of her. LOL

Well anyway, we laid around watch tv and talked. I wanted him to stay the night but, he felt that since I had to go back to work in the early am. It would be best if he left.  I ended up not sleeping. Fireworks and gun shot consumed my night. Even thinking about my crush kept me up half the night. He is just so freaking awesome. I just wish he think the same. He don't believe in his greatness all that much. 

I am starting to see golden skies. It is a wonderful feeling right now. I am reflecting on it. I might go through a lot of storms but in the end, the sun always shines on me.  I love it.. I hope that is more to come. 

It's been awhile... Here's the story....

It has been a lot going on with me the last few weeks. It first starts off with my Friend that I am digging. He has been going through somethings and plus trying to move. So I was dealing with that issue.. Then it was my other friend that is getting on my last nerves. They never call until they want something. So I have been putting him on ignore. Then it all ends with MC and his warped mind.

I enjoy the time I get to spend with Digging Friend.. He is not only nice to look at, but has so much  mannerism, and ugggg I don't know how to really put it into words. I am I just not used to this type of thing. I like it, don't get me wrong. I still feel bad that I assumed the other stuff about him. He really is a nice guy.. Plus we are the same sign.. So I know we are loving people...

Ok,, I made the mistake the other week to tell MC about what was going on with Digging Friend...  I thought that it would be nice that if we was still friends. I mean hey, I am not mad at him for finally moving on in life. I am so... Just that one day he really rubbed me the wrong way with his words. He was telling me not to waste my time on something. I should wait on what I really want.  Well those word broke out a can of ass grease... I was like I can't believe he just said that. I waited 6 years for this man. I still didn't have what I wanted. Then he is going to tell me not to waste my time.,,,

Well so then he felt as if I said that our relationship was a waste.  I never said those words.  I was just thinking how dare he say something like that. Then went on to call me a lil girl... All this other stuff that I will not put on here out of respect. I still can manage to be that.  I just know that my feeling were hurt. 

At that time it was proven that I was just never the woman that he wanted me to be. He wanted someone that was not me. I tell you some men kill me with this. I am a responsible person. I have been taking care of myself since I was 15 years old. I don't ask no one for anything. I work, I pay my bills, and I am at a happy place in my life. All because I feel that a man, if he truly loves a woman... He will ask for marriage, move her in with him, and respect that she is a woman.  If she walking around with the have nots, you would give it to her. .

I tried to make a mends with him. I guess he didn't want it.. So I am still keeping my head up.. I am moving on.. I still in a happy place in life... I love me and that is all that matters...