It has come that all those who were once close to me. Is making me out to be the bad person... I know that since me and SOS started dating...I haven't had much time with my friends... I think the last time we all got together was for my Birthday... Even then tension was on it's brink.. Because of the arguing that night... I've been keeping my distance...
We'll since it has been months since I've last talk to them.. I am truly missing them.. SOS has a best friend so she doesn't see what I am going through.. Heck, her and the best friend are roommates... So she doesn't understand when I have my mood swings... I miss bonding with my girls.. Yet, for me it is so hard too... See as far as I go.. I am so different compared to my friends.. They always talk about their men... Have a few that brings their man around.. etc.. etc.. I on the other hand... I am now a Lesbian... SOS is not the type of person that wants to be around my friends... She says those are your friends... You go hang out with them... As I said it is hard.. It is always them, their men, and then me.. I am the solo in the bunch...
I am also dealing with living this life.. It is hard enough as it is for me.. SO FREAKING HARD... At times I don't think I am even cut out for this... SO their negative words and attitudes.. I try to stay away from.. So they think I just walked off and don't care about them.. So I've been seeing their statuses on facebook.. Yes, I know SOME were directed to me.. I AM NOT THE BAD PERSON HERE...
I happened to fall in love with someone who understands me (sometimes) and I enjoy every minute I have with her... It is just days like this though... They said good bye to her uncle yesterday.. So today she is at home resting and what not.. Im home BORED.. Having to much time on my hands.. Missing her and wanting to be with her.. Yet she is sleep.
So this makes me think of my friends.. How when I was feeling down.. I could pick up the phone and call.. Just to get a laugh in.. Well it is no more of that... I would have to call and say I am sorry... It will make me feel like I lowered my stance, if I did that. Cause I truly didn't do anything wrong.. They choose to be hostile and negative to me. I couldn't make SOS want to meet them... I couldn't make her come around when I hung with them..
So now I am feeling the void in my life... I miss them... I just don't want to admit to any guilty they may feel I did... They don't even pick up the phone to call me or better yet text... So I wonder do they miss me?
