Programs that suppose to help you...

The past couple of months our Electricity bill has been sky high.. It's because of the weather being so hawt.. However I been cutting back usage.. I don't dry clothes anymore.. I wash every two weeks.. I don't run lights half of the time.. Heck I been keeping the air on 78... 

I am still waiting on my mother case worker to get things in order so I can get paid to stay with her or get someone to be here while I go to work. It is taking forever it seems.. 

I called the local Share for the past 4 weeks about getting help I kept getting "We are not taking appointments".. So I also called some churches that offer help to and they are all out of funds too. 

I truly hate going through this. I for one don't like to ask for help.. I used to be the helper.. The people that I was helping as you know, I don't hear from them.. 

I'm not suffering or anything but with all this going on, I have to let things I like to go to the waist side. 

I also think these programs need to hire people friendly folks. These people have been so rude. I mean that is a esteem blaster.. I already feel depressed and upset about this change in lifestyle then to have people talk to me like I am useless and unworthy really has taken it's toll on me. I never would treat people that way and never have. A lot of folks like myself can't help the situations that they are in. They need people with compassion and a heart.
I got to the point where I felt that they just there collecting a paycheck and not wanting to help people. 

I think once I get back on my feet I am going to start up a program or some kind of support system for folks that takes care of their parents and can't get extra help from these government programs and other non profits.  

In My thoughts: When I think Racism will end..

I been thinking of this for awhile but I really didn't want to say anything about it. Well after watch a video on Facebook today, it got me thinking. It was a video on how Black Women act differently over seas with white men.. You know how black men think we are aggressive and non submissive.. My opinion, we act according to how we are treated.. If you talk mess to me, I'm gonna talk mess to you.. If you are good to me I am good to you..

Back to my post..

The way some Black men lust and swoon over white women or bi-racial women, and how NOW some white men are finally being honest with liking black women.. Also with Black men hooking up with other races... It the future let's say 2047 there will be no true race.. So this will cut out a lot of racism, It will hardly been any pure race. I am starting to see it now.. Especially in my little ole town of Easley, it's mixed kids popping up everywhere. So maybe, even though this town everyone is mostly undercover racists. This might just bring a closer relationship with each other..

Although I choose not to date outside my race because I have no desire too.. I also don't find what I would have in common with someone of another race unless they are Asian or Latin and that is food that we would have in common.. LOL

I am ready for all this to end. I want us all to get along or be able to have a great dialogue on why we have a hard time to communicating and understanding one another. The headlines the other week was they Love our Culture but doesn't Love us.. It is pretty accurate in my eyes. They are now getting butts, big lips, doing the whip, and the shanae-nae..  My only issue with all of that, is don't try to be hood if you never grew up in the hood. See it is so easy to pretend and never had to live it..

I just hope my theory will come true.. I give it another 50 years.. Since we are the only country that define people by race instead of the country we live in.. We will see, God Willing..

Over the last few years..

The last few years I have been dealing with issues pertaining to these two.. Not really but this is how I am going to describe it.. LOL

I can say that it has been a roller-coaster of events.  I blame myself though.. I have allowed it and I don't blame no one but me.  You would think by now I would really have it together with dealing with these two..  One day I think that things are going to get better. Then the next BAMMMMMMMMMMM I am back in the trap. I sometimes think that I like the misery. Sometimes I think that it is going to one day get better.. (Who am I kidding).. NOT A SOUL.. 

Just this week I said ok.. I am not going to deal with it. Especially after the Speech I got with The TIRE MAN.. I was like ok.. I see that this situation isn't going to change.  So you know my words.. FONK it and keep it going.. 

 Since  aunt jemima hasn't surfaced in my inbox and my life in a few months.. I have been doing fairly well with not going off. I think it's only when SHE THINKS she knows what's going on, what gets me boiling..  I hate for someone to THINK they know and don't know SHYT.. Oneday she will see the real for real. So I am going to sit back and watch how she reacts.. In due time. She will become tired like I did. 

You can't change a person and even if you tried, it is what it is. 

I am more focused on me losing those  10 lbs I gain back over the holiday's..

Their crazy life is no concern to me anymore.. I tried to help them but you can't help those who don't want the help. Their issues are no longer mine.. Tire man unhappiness isn't a problem of mine.  

I just like how Karma really does work in the person favor.. She sho did work for me.. I no longer have the time for THEIR foolishness. It doesn't mean that I am going to stop being friend's with Tire Man.. It is just that anything that has to be said about them two.. I can fonking careless.. Like I said it has GOTTEN OLD... 

Either you Jump.. Or you Stand back..

Yesterday I posted a Facebook Status.. 

"You can push and push and push... Until there is a cliff next to you.. You can either back off or jump... It's all in how you feel about it...''

This is co signing with a few things I had to hear or deal with over the last few days...

It has nothing to do with jumping off a cliff or life getting you down..

It is how people are pushing me to my limits.. They trying to get me all riled up... 

It is them trying to start something with me, when they better stand back...

I am the Cliff... If you have problems with me.. Come to me.. If not back off.. I don't get it.. Some talk all this mess, but not a nan came to me about it... Not  a Single Soul..

Yet they are suppose to come to me and say something..  So I am just waiting on the day,.. 

You can't control what someone does or wants to do. 

So keep trying me.. You might just get your feeling here.. Don't look to start trouble.. If you do.. It might not be so easy to handle...

In the Season..

I don't know what to expect as of late... See it is like this... I have been one that doesn't like to be on the rebound. So I tend not to jump into another relationship after another one. It took me 3 years to date someone else after MC. That was when I turned my life around with the last relationship...

I am not quite sure if I am in season or not.. LOL  It's like this.. I am now having several people after me.. Heck, I have one already claiming me. I am going to give you all the rundown on them..

Let's call this one J1... He is someone from my past.. I have been out with him a couple of times.. He is just someone who remembers the person I was from my past.. Yea... I was wild as they come.. When me and this guy hooked up.. It wasn't ever just US if you get the hint.. He knew about all my bi-sexual tendencies.. A few months ago he expressed his feelings that he SUPPOSED to have for me. He said he was always afraid because it was always all about MC... (I made it know to EVERYONE that I LOVED that man)... So he is now CLAIMING me as his girlfriend.. I haven't approved that message.. LOL

Then J2... Lawd.. He is another one from my past.. I swear it is coming back to HAUNT me.. He is a friend of a guy that I used to date... (whom which is also calling off the hook)... He saw me a few weeks ago.. It was good to see him.. So it wasn't a big deal by giving him my number at least I thought... Well this fool has been calling me out the ying yang... Begging me to come see him.. I keep telling him NO.. He is being persistent.

J3 is a childhood friend.. My mother and his mother used to work together, plus we were born a few days apart. J3, his twin sister, and I all went to school together.. He confessed his love for me.. He said over the years he always admired me.. He always wanted to talk to me. He was just afraid how I would act because of the color issue. Plus now he is disabled. So he feels that I wouldn't want to talk to him. He just felt the need to let me know how beautiful and awesome I was.. He wants me to go out on dates with him.

So I not sure as to what to do.. I fell like I am just in the season right now.. So I am not going to make anything into it. I am not rushing or so desperate that I have to have someone... I am just chill..

Free!!

Today I am Free

I am free to be me

I held on as long as long as I could

Today I let go, as I should

No more lies behind lies

No more looking in your face while you lied behind the smiles

You took my heart while it was up for grabs

I can’t believe it was the one thing would stab

I gave you everything I had to offer

I refuse to be the one who sits here and suffer

You go on with your with your life

Cause today I got to see the pictures of your wife

For that I no longer doubt myself

You go on and take care of yourself

I can walk with my head held high

I can take to the sky and Fly

Cause today I am Free

I am free to be me

©2012

Mahoganydymond ™

Black Girl gets no Respect.. (came from a show I watched the other day)

The other day I happened to flip through the television.. It was a show on TVOne.. I don't remember the name of the show.. It was aired back in 2007.. I sat and watched most of the show. It was a panel of 5 Black  Men. They were talking about dating outside their race..  I know we keep hearing how Black Women are this and that..
A few months ago, one of my favorite people on the net, she posted a twitter status that made me think.. She said that "Black women are the least desired in the world".. So watching this show it made to realize that this could be true..

 Out of the 5 men only One said he would never date outside his race. The others say that they prefer dating White or other races other than black..   I just shook my head. See I prefer my Black Man. I wouldn't date outside my race.. It isn't because I am black. I am just attracted to what I am attracted too. I love deep deep deep purplish black. They were given all kind of reasons as to why they wouldn't date Black Women. Why do we get such a NEGATIVE light.? Yea I know we have a few that we could be ashamed of..  It is no right to generalize us though.. One man said that he like white women cause they are easy to talk to.. He said that they are very friendly and supports their man no matter what... I don't know what land that guy came from.. Support, we have supported Black Men from day one.. You rarely see Black Women with any other race...  I know in my town you seldom see Black on Black relationships.. Most all the black men do date white women. I used to be upset about it.. It was not until I saw they types of men that they dated..  I wouldn't even want that man myself..Anyhoo.. Friendly.. Hell I have came across some mean ass White Women.. Especially those who do date black guys.. They come into my store all the time. I speak and they roll their eyes.. If I speak to their man, they look as if they going to slap the shyt out of me.. Sorry boo boo, I don't want ya man..  I don't know if they feel intimidated by me or what..  I must say this though.. Women are women.. It doesn't matter what color they are.. So why diss the Black woman..  I just want Black Women to know.. We are freaking BEAUTIFUL... Fuck what anyone else says... 

Can I talk to you............. Let's clear the air...

Today I cleared the air with  someone.. It had been a long time coming and I wanted so much to talk to her.. A few months back I got word of her being mad at me... She was thinking that I had something going on with her ex.. Well as you all know I have a few male friends.. No sex just platonic friendship.. I get along with men so much better.. Having men as friends is just so much easier..
Well I talked her via Facebook.. I told her the story of why and how me and him became friends. I don't want me and her friendship to sour just cause her and her man's did.
I try to comfort her and I think it worked.. See I know how her ex is.. He is a insecure man that really doesn't know what he wants.. He is the type that has low self esteem and hasn't quite figured out who and what he wants.. He has NO faith in himself... I hate to see men like that...  I am trying to tell him to work out his problems and stop making mistakes that he will later regret.. I gave her hope.. I also didn't want to mess up either friendships..  So I am glad I reached out to her today.. I hope my words to her will encourage her to look to the stars and reach them... She is such a wonderful person.. He is too.. I just want them both to be happy in life...

When you are tired of shyt!!!!

I tried to look over things.. I have tried to see things half empty.... I have witness people do things... I have also watched people put up with shyt they don't need to... I wonder why... A fear of loneliness... A fear of of not being accepted by others. Well I am sick and tired of shyt.. I want to be able to hang out with my friends... I want to be able to live without added drama...

So since I deal with other people drama most of the time... I will now STAND alone.... I hate that it has came to this... I am just tired of being the shoulder and the listening ear.. Especially if they aren't going to listen to what I have to say.....

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My Observation... The difference between White and Black People...

I know that many people have written a blog about this subject... I agreed and some I disagreed with some.. As of last night... Things became more clear for me. So this has been something that has been on my mind all day today...  Today I broke down and said WHAT THE HECK I am going to go ahead at write this....

Now this is just my only day to day on how I observe the two races.... W will stand for White and B will stand for Black.. duh...

W: They will go to the club before 9 and get drunk and leave around 12...
B: Do not show up to the club until after 11 and get mad because the price has went up...

W: When they get drunk they are all lovey dovey and wants to grind on you (anybody).
B: Gets drunk wants to fight and gets mad if you look at them wrong..

W: Will talk your head off.. They mostly talk about themselves or their relationship..Especially Married women talk about their husbands all damn day..
B: Will talk about someone behind their back. Also white people, how a person is dressed, and how bad they are having it in life...

W: Will go out their way to prove you are wrong.
B: They are NEVER wrong because they heard it from so and so...

W: Will complain about the littlest things...
B:  Will complain about the big things...


These was just a few I think you get the point of it all.. We all are Human Being and we love one another. (at least we should) So at the end of the day we are still crazy in our own way...

I CAN'T give anymore of me...

Yesterday I took the time to really get deep into myself.  It was something that I've been meaning to do as my process to stay in my Happy Place continues...  I had to block my communications to a few people.. I am even limiting who I will be chatting with via "social networks"...  I got to get to a better me.. I got to clear my head.. No distractions needed..

Sunday night I got a call from a former user... He used me.. It is that time of year.. See I would always fall back into his trap.. I used to care about this guy.. I mean A LOT if you all knew the things I went through and did for him.. Yall would have slapped me over and over until I got the clue..

His Birthday is coming up and you know what.. He wants me to show him how much I love him..  Every year he comes around during his Birthday and Christmas.. He spends a lot of time cause he knows how I feel about Birthday's and Christmas..  He thinks he is gonna get an ass off gifts and all the coochie he can get..  I learned last year... It was no way I was going to allow this to happen.. I was stupid, dumb, and naive to think this man was real anymore. Word got back to me once, "Ahh Mah will get me anything I ask for".. He would go to his friends and brag about how much I would give him. How I didn't everything he asked.. He would say, It is because she LOVES me..  To be honest folks.. I didn't love him.. It was mostly feeling sorry for his ass.. I am a sucker for a charity case..

One year I brought him a lot of gifts.. It was nice seeing the smile on his face.. When everyone came to me and say, "what did he get you?" I was really ashamed to say... NOTHING.. I mean even saying that brought tears to my eyes. I did more for him than I did myself. He is not the only man who has done this.. Out of all the men I've dated, only one ever brought me a Christmas gift.. It is only a few that went out the way for me... So after the Holiday's he would disappear.. I wouldn't hear from as much.. He wouldn't even come around.. See I allowed myself to put up with this shyt..

Well now I am done.. I am closed.. I can no longer give anymore of myself to anyone.. I am drained. I can't help NO ONE.. I am at a point where I am struggling with life, health, and money.. Where are all these people that I gave my time, my heart, and money too.. Like they are always... No where to be found...

It was a lesson learned...

WTF?

I know that I am a beautiful and sexy woman.. I will always believe this... 

I am just wondering what is this sudden flock of men coming my way..

I am still wooing over my Heaven.. I am also still feeling the need not to be in a relationship at this time.. 

I know that I am a BIG flirt. I never had men approach me the way they have the last few weeks..

I am a person that I have my standards and rules I live by.. I try my best to stand by them.. I don't care how lonely I get.. There are just some BOUNDARIES you just don't cross...

One of my friends (not going to call her a close friend cause she had done some shyt to me before) her ex boyfriend told me something yesterday that blew my mind.. He approached me in a way I never expected. He  told me that he has always had a crush on me. He wished that he met me first. He said I was always cool with him and I was totally different from my friend. I used to wonder why he hung at my house and job all the time.  I just considered him being a cool person and a good friend.. Well he asked me out. He wants us to start dating. He feels that he will treat me like a Queen.  I am like NO.. You dated my friend, plus I refuse to go behind her. I don't care if it has been 14 years ago.. Me and her still talk to each other every once in awhile..

He thinks that I should put that past in the past.. He says white people do it all the time.. I am like NO.. I am not desperate to stoop to that level.. No one is not gonna call me and start shyt with me.. I am remaining neutral.. I told him we can go to lunch or out for drinks.. But NEVER will those lines be CROSSED.. I think I hurt his feelings, but oh well he will get over it...

What is wrong with this picture? Do people not know the meaning of don't cross that line..? 

Then something else has me kinda eerie.. I found one of my family members that I haven't seen in FOREVER...  So when I saw him on facebook, I was happy to see him.. Why is it  that he said something to me that got me saying (come on dude) get a grip.. He said he really wish he wasn't my cousin.. He has found himself attracted to me. WTF? Note we aren't close kin but he still comes to my mother side of the family reunions..  I noticed the other week when I saw him, I gave him a big hug and he didn't want to let go.. Heck he didn't even want to leave my house.. I didn't think nothing of it. I knew that we haven't seen each other in years..  

I tell you people are walking around with some BIG ole Balls... 

I just got to SMH and walk around looking at people side ways.. 

I believe in Jesus.. Really I do...

I have noticed that this certain woman that comes in my place of work is always talking to me about Jesus. I have been nice to the lady and never fussed with her. She has always gave me pamphlets and cd's. She wants me to read the pamphlets and call her to discuss whats in it.

She has giving me her number a few times. She says that I am a good person and she wants to lead me to Jesus.. I am looking at her like she is about crazy. I know that it is the Christian thing to do. You know lead people to Christ.. I have no problem with that. My problem is her constant harassment. I have told her I know Jesus.. I know my Bible, but in no forms am I religious.. I am a Spiritual Human.. I believe God loves everyone. I believe as long as I know right from wrong. I pray and believe in his higher power.. I am doing what is expected of me.

Just today she sent me a card with the SAME booklet in it.. it says..

"Tracy, I would really love to talk with you about the things in the little booklet.. We never have enough time to talk when I am in there shopping. I know that the people on your job with no share your info with me.  I want to take you to lunch sometimes so we can talk... I would also love for you to call me sometimes so we can share words. I would love to pray with you. I will also love to tell you about Jesus.. So please call me so we can set up a place and time."

This right here creeps me out so much. I don't understand, WHY ME? She thinks that I am such a sweet and lovely person.. Do I have the devil written all over my face or something. She is really pushing me to my end..

I love Jesus.. I know Jesus... I have my own personal relationship with him...

What a Weekend.. Fill with Booze, Fun, and even stupid.. (crap)

This weekend has to go down in the books as one of the best I've had in a VERY long time.. I celebrated my birthday with lots of fun.. It also had a few down too.. I am just thankful I made it to another year... Thank you Jesus...

I stayed over my cousin's house for the weekend.. I know that was my best bet to enjoy my Birthday. It seems that my cousin had a better time than at first.. Then I got it cracking... We went to see my favorite band downtown. I love that group.. I swear I got to make it more often.. I was grooving.. Also the guy that I met a few weeks back, came to celebrate with me. He was also throwing out the doe... :) He made sure I was going to enjoy my birthday.. After the band we left and met up with a few more friends at this bar and grill I like. That's when the party got started right. I love how that dj mixes up the music.. He has new music, Old School, and Phil Collins.. LOL  Then me and my friend that I met.. I tell you I don't know if  I was drunk or I am really feeling him.. We made some type of connection.. We were kissing up a freaking storm.. It was weird, because I look at him as the quiet type that doesn't make the 1st move... Yet he did.. (he is a VERY good kisser too) We were having such a good time until booooooooooooooom.. My cousins boyfriend called. I swear this relationship of hers is starting to really wreck my nerves.. She had to leave cause she had to go pick him up... Ughhhhhhhh..
So got back to her house and by this time I was really pissed.. Up until my phone rings and it was someone I really had been thinking about.. He came over and sat up with me.. We ended up talking until 8 something that morning... The rest of the day became a blur.. I was sleeping off and on all day...

Well Saturday night was cool.. We went to this little hole in a wall.. I didn't like it there much because of the music and the kids. You know those young folks and that Gucci Mane music.. So we stayed there long enough to have a few drinks.. I was also in the presence of my cousins friend.. Dang that woman is cute as a button.. I couldn't keep my eyes off her... So then we went off to my favorite Strip Club.. Club Money.. I tell you that I don't like to pay to get in, but if you are the type that loves to see Beautiful, Nicely Shaped Women,  plus a few of them does some awesome tricks..It is one woman that I swear I would be so nervous around. She is beautiful, thick thighs, thick booty, and boobies.. You should have saw all that money she was carrying around.. Men were make it rain on her like it was no tomorrow.. I see why she is there most of the time...  I even had to throw her a couple of dollars...(don't get me wrong, I feel that sometimes strip clubs are degrading to women..) I just love the atmosphere there.. Plus there are A LOT of security in that place.
Then Boooooooooooooooom my cousins boyfriend got kicked out.. She left with him but refused to answer her phone so me and the others after 30 minutes left out. He pissed me off so bad.. I kept asking her why in the hell she remains with this damn child.

Then came back home yesterday to spend time with my family from NC... I enjoyed this weekend and I can not wait until next year that I can do it all again.. Well not exactly wait until next year to have a good time but my birthday is always on point...,...

Imma Changing....

Have you ever been just tired of BEING nice.. Have you ever been tired of BEING the happy go lucky  person... Well I am .. It is not that I am in a pissed mood are anything.. I AM JUST FREAKIN TIRED OF EVERYONES MOUTH... I seriously want people to SHUT THE F UP...

Part of it starts with my Job.. Everyone is so UPTIGHT.. We are going through something there. We basically have to run the store with less hours to give.. So we are doing work for more than one person.. So when the other employees doesn't get hours, they are fussing.. The ones who got hours are fussing.. Then their are those who NEEDS to be fired and they are still there..  They just need to understand.. EVERYONE can't get their way.. We win some or we lose some. I wish they just get the hell over it...

Then it comes to these people with THEIR judgmental views... It is sad that someone can not live in the world and live their lives the way they see fit.. I sit back and look and say, why are you worried it that person is gay... Growing up I was taught that love everyone no matter what. Even it these people make you mad, just pray for them.. (heck I have been doing a lot of praying)...Me being a Bi-Sexual woman and My sister being a Lesbian. I take all this recent attacks on the LBGT  community to heart..  I love all people, even if I don't agree with their views... I am tired of these kids being bullied and killed. I still say that ignorance is one of the reasons My Timmy is not here with me now...

Lately I am having people tell me how I should live my life. They are telling me the things that I need to do.. Well I say F yall too.. Why is MY LIFE so important to these cats..? I believe they are seeing that I am living a happy life and they want to put salt in it. I just don't get it.. These are people whose life aren't so great, and I have always been their for them.. They are just not liking my "NEW" attitude.. Yea I am in my HAPPY place.. I am having a great time.. I am in that place because I stopped WORRYING about people. I STOPPED doing for people.  I am DOING me and I have no care in the world..

I am doing exactly what that graphic says above.... Ya Digg... :)

Don't give what you can.. Give what I ask for... Paying money to go to Church...

Today a lady from the church that my uncle attends stopped by they house to give out flyers...   I was listening to what she was saying. I didn't say much I basically smiled and took the flyer.. Cause from the jump I was about to flip. She said Donations is 20 dollars. "WHAT?"  So when the lady left, I sat down and read the flyer...

It was a flyer for their Pastor's Anniversary..  It stated to please where RED if you are going to attend.. It also said "Donations 20 dollars at the door"... I was like she was correct... Twenty dollars to go to church.. I never in my life.  I believe in giving to the church. I don't believe it is ethical to tell someone how MUCH you want them to give.. That is like charging at the door.. I am no member of this church and I feel iffy about this..

I talked to my mother and she was saying they said donations.. I go on and on to tell my mother what donations mean... It is to give what you can.. At this rate 20 dollars can break me.. That is my lunch money for the week.. I said God knows my heart and my Soul..

Another reason this got me.. Is that they just built this church two years ago.. Their pastor has a nice car.. Then some of the members that I know is always hollering BROKE.. Even a few had check writing problems.. They were bouncing check from left to right.. I know a few of them.. I have witness that some of them never had money problems until they joined that church.

All in all I thought that was rather tacky to put that on the flyer.. I think they should have put donations would be accepted or donations are welcome.. I think by them putting that on the flyer makes someone not want to go to church.. If I won't pay 20 to get into the club.. Why would I give 20 to go to church..

Maybe their heart was in the right place.. I just don't know what would make them put such a thing on there... I can sit at home and get the word.. I can turn to Gospel network and hear some of my favorite Gospel singers.. I just don't see myself going to church to see a pastor that I not to keen on.. Also to give them 20 of my dollars...


See why I remain Spiritual and not Religious...

Try to do something Positive... Then it turns out.. Negative...

I saw a lot of my friends on Facebook changing their pictures to give Awareness to Breast Cancer Month.. So the picture that you see above is me giving my contribute. I know it is kinda sexy, but I think what better picture to use. I am showing that I love my breast.  Since I posted that picture above, it's been hell on Facebook.
I think I should have put it under my other account. I didn't think this picture would cause a world wind of comments via messages.

I had guys that barely say anything to me say something. I had some that was asking why did  I put the picture up. Was it  just to tease them. The funniest one was from my ex.. "You just posted that picture to get back at me for leaving you"... WTFH? I was like do they not see that it has the Breast Cancer  ribbon on it.. It also states "Love your Boobies"...

I understand that people are visuals beings.. I didn't mean for anyone to get any ideas.. I was just trying to be positive and show people that I support Breast Cancer Research... Those crazy men turned it into something way beyond. It's funny is that these people know I have ample about of breast.. I have worn clothes that revealed more that what that picture shows.. So why me posting a picture on Facebook, cause so much uncalled for comments...

I feel like an Ass....

I really feel like a total ass. I have been through so much with men. I just assumed something about someone. I kinda feel bad about it. When I felt that  guy just didn't want to come over that day, because I denied him sex. Well it comes to the point that wasn't the reason.

I don't forgive him though. I just feel that I was so quick to assume that was the reason. So now I am staring and walking around like a donkey's butt...

I already knew he was going through something. We talked about it a few times. Well he is the quiet type and when he is in his moods.. He doesn't say anything. I did tell him what ever he is going through, he should have called me. I waited and thought it was something that I did or said to him. It hurt me to think that would have been the reason of him not calling me.


Well things are cool for right now.. I just going to stop jumping to conclusions..

When people are bullshyters....

I can't tell you how much a person piss me off more than a BULLSHYTER... I have ran across a few and I tell you, I think they are surrounding me.  I am about tired of it all. Then people always wondering why I act the way that I do.. It is them and maybe a little bit that has to do with me. I do know, I want them to back up off me.

Today at work, I got madder than I ever had. Today was my day off. So one of my co workers want to help out in another department. She didn't like the person who was working with her today. So I told her once she got done, take over and finish the shift. I told her I would work until she was done. How about she tells me that she was going to stay until 2. I was like ok, but if you leave early I will be mad. I was the one that came in on my day off. So I take a bathroom break.. That heffa had left. Yea I am working for her on my day off and she leaves.. So once I see her on Monday... I will have a few choice words for her..

You remember the guy about the Cell phone.. He has the nerve to beg me to get it cut back on. I told him, I don't even have money to live off of and he makes more money than me. So no I am not cutting it back on. I feel he needs to give me something on the bill. Heck it might just get cut off this week anyway. 

I hope this weekend really turns out to be better for me.  Last weekend was a blast. I was blind drunk...  Now I can't drink this one because of work.. So I have to deal with the bull shyters...

My Thought of the Day.. Judging Book by the cover...

I tell you that people are really a mess. I have friends on FB that seem to let their truth colors come out. I have been letting things pass over me. I try not to get to mad at people. Some just don't know what in the world they be thinking.  They speak before using their words wisely.

I saw something that my old classmate said on FB today. One of the news group posted something about a man who shot and killed his mother in law and kidnapped his wife. Well I pray that the daughter is ok and I wish the family well at this time. People are just plain crazy. You don't know when a person is going to flip out.

Well her comment was he must be uneducated, no job, with 20 kids in 5 different states... Now Blog readers, what does that have to do with the crime he committed?  I feel like it was all because of the face she was judging this black man. This is the same person who HATES Obama with a passion. When Obama passed the Health Reform she had all kind of racial, ignorant comments.

I think that people should be careful what they say about people. Never judge a book by it's cover. That person might just be a person you need one day. I am a firm believer of that. I don't know what that guy was going through that committed that crime. I do know he will one day have to face his creator. So me or no one else have the right to judge...