The run down of the run down...

Happy New Year to you all... I am kinda glad for this new year. Last year well last month was HORRID for me.
It seems like after Thanksgiving everything in my life was falling apart.. It first started when my depression kicked in 10 folds.. It was so bad that I had just really had to take a break from almost everything.
 Mom got sick and it seem like nothing helping her. Her doctor prescribed a antibiotic it worked while she was taking it but a few days later she was back sick again.  I was so afraid I was about to lose my mom.. She even stopped walking and stopped responding to most things. She wanted to sleep a lot and it was nothing I could do..  One Sunday I just couldn't take it anymore, I called EMS and we headed to ER...  We found out she was dehydrated and also had Pneumonia.. So they pumped her with a lot of antibiotics and IV fluids. In two days mom was back to being alert but however still not able to walk. She totally depends on me for everything.. I bathe, feed, change her, and give her medications. It's rough doing this alone even though we have aides and nurses to visit the home.

Speaking of At home help... (emotional part of December)One of my mom's aides that we adored so much lost her life on Christmas Day.. She was such a BIG help not only to my mom's life but mine. We didn't have to  worry with La-Shun around.. A beautiful woman inside and out.. She was genuinely a fresh of air. She cared for people.. Man, she was a SWEETHEART! I didn't have to worry about my mom with her. I didn't have to work period. She helped me get things that my mom needed when he case worker was just so stagnant, She helped me decorate for Fall and Christmas.. She even helped pay for my Birthday celebration.. She was my sister.. I didn't know her long.. We met in August after mom slapped her last aide. Mom LOVED La-shun.. Even to this day mom didn't really know her name yet she still calls out.. She would look at me and say "where is she?" Every time I get tears forming in my eyes.  On Christmas Day she came to help me bathe and get mom dressed for the day. I normally gave her holidays off but since mom is no longer walking I needed her help. She was so full of life that morning.. She gave mom gifts and watched her open them. She ate breakfast with us.. I am normally depressed and so gloomy on Christmas so she tried everything in her power to cheer me up.. She was excited to spend time with her family.. She said see you tomorrow and for me to please smile for her... I gave a fake smile..  Three hours later the company she worked for called and told me she was dead.. On her way to her next client she had a car wreck that threw her out the window and she went into cardiac arrest and died.. I am still trying to cope with the fact she is gone. I also couldn't watch the local news because they kept playing the video at the scene.  I got new aide but they will not measure up to her.. I even had to let one go after working  3 days.. The heffa put her feet on my chair and came in high.

I had a total of 5 people I knew died in the month of December.. La-Shun, then my former church pastor that was big part of my life growing up.. My Best friend that died two years ago her mom died 3 days before Christmas, one of my friends that I had in school..I also had a cousin to pass...
So you all see why December was not a good month for me.

It's a New Year so I claim in the name of Jesus this year will be so much better.. Mentally, emotionally, and physically better..

The World we Live in.. The sign of the Times in America..

It seems as of late the Police has been on a roll. It's been going on for years now but it has taken a tole now. Just this year it seems that every time you turn on the news the Police has killed an unarmed Black man. Then the don't get charged with the murder. I tell you these cops are something else.

Just Friday night the shot a White Guy 10 times in Hollywood.. 

I just want to know when Enough is going to be Enough.. 

They are trained to disarm people without excessive force. So why are they so quick to pull the trigger now a days.. They aren't screening these people before the academy.

The Cop that killed that young boy in Ohio was once fired from one Police Department because he was deemed unfit to be a cop. So how did he manage to get another job.. That goes also for the Cop that kill Mike Brown, wasn't he fired from another department because of his racists views..

I pray for the world we live in. It's like when we (blacks) stand up for the injustice then some of our white counter parts think we are being racists and we are bringing out the race card. It irks me so much. Some want us not to say anything and push it under the rug.. Well I know for one, that is the problem.. We keep so bottled inside that it will continue to happen if we don't Stand Up..

Then the Black on Black crime deboggle. It doesn't have anything to do with this cause. We are taught by media and other races that we are animals and etc etc.. We are taught to hate ourselves and kill before being killed. It's sad but that is the reality of it all. Its the way they are raised and most of the time it is their environment that causes this.. It doesn't give the right for others to think that our lives doesn't matter.  There are plenty White on White crimes.. It's on the news all the time.. Especially when the family is in outs.. I see it everyday on the ID Channel, don't see anyone labeling them. 

We all watched that heart wrecking video of the attack on Mr Gardner.. I can't breathe..I can't breathe. Then one cop putting his knee on that man's head. It was so hurting to watch. The cop once again wasn't indicted. He although unlike the other cop apologized. I give my hats off to Mrs. Gardner.. I can't imagine how she feels.. I see that she didn't accept the cops apology, but do you blame her. When they heard he couldn't breathe they should have stopped..

When will this stop.. These crimes that they are alleged to have done is not worth their lives.. It doesn't make a bit of sense to me. We all got to know our rights and do something about this.. Police I respect them but there are some bad ones that takes their power and run with it.. 

It's like we need police to police the police....