The run down of the run down...

Happy New Year to you all... I am kinda glad for this new year. Last year well last month was HORRID for me.
It seems like after Thanksgiving everything in my life was falling apart.. It first started when my depression kicked in 10 folds.. It was so bad that I had just really had to take a break from almost everything.
 Mom got sick and it seem like nothing helping her. Her doctor prescribed a antibiotic it worked while she was taking it but a few days later she was back sick again.  I was so afraid I was about to lose my mom.. She even stopped walking and stopped responding to most things. She wanted to sleep a lot and it was nothing I could do..  One Sunday I just couldn't take it anymore, I called EMS and we headed to ER...  We found out she was dehydrated and also had Pneumonia.. So they pumped her with a lot of antibiotics and IV fluids. In two days mom was back to being alert but however still not able to walk. She totally depends on me for everything.. I bathe, feed, change her, and give her medications. It's rough doing this alone even though we have aides and nurses to visit the home.

Speaking of At home help... (emotional part of December)One of my mom's aides that we adored so much lost her life on Christmas Day.. She was such a BIG help not only to my mom's life but mine. We didn't have to  worry with La-Shun around.. A beautiful woman inside and out.. She was genuinely a fresh of air. She cared for people.. Man, she was a SWEETHEART! I didn't have to worry about my mom with her. I didn't have to work period. She helped me get things that my mom needed when he case worker was just so stagnant, She helped me decorate for Fall and Christmas.. She even helped pay for my Birthday celebration.. She was my sister.. I didn't know her long.. We met in August after mom slapped her last aide. Mom LOVED La-shun.. Even to this day mom didn't really know her name yet she still calls out.. She would look at me and say "where is she?" Every time I get tears forming in my eyes.  On Christmas Day she came to help me bathe and get mom dressed for the day. I normally gave her holidays off but since mom is no longer walking I needed her help. She was so full of life that morning.. She gave mom gifts and watched her open them. She ate breakfast with us.. I am normally depressed and so gloomy on Christmas so she tried everything in her power to cheer me up.. She was excited to spend time with her family.. She said see you tomorrow and for me to please smile for her... I gave a fake smile..  Three hours later the company she worked for called and told me she was dead.. On her way to her next client she had a car wreck that threw her out the window and she went into cardiac arrest and died.. I am still trying to cope with the fact she is gone. I also couldn't watch the local news because they kept playing the video at the scene.  I got new aide but they will not measure up to her.. I even had to let one go after working  3 days.. The heffa put her feet on my chair and came in high.

I had a total of 5 people I knew died in the month of December.. La-Shun, then my former church pastor that was big part of my life growing up.. My Best friend that died two years ago her mom died 3 days before Christmas, one of my friends that I had in school..I also had a cousin to pass...
So you all see why December was not a good month for me.

It's a New Year so I claim in the name of Jesus this year will be so much better.. Mentally, emotionally, and physically better..