My Thoughts of the Day... Suicide..(It gets better, Believe me)

I never has something like this happen this close to my family before. I have been depressed before. I even had these thoughts. I am sure many of you have. I am thankful that I have the Lord and my family on my side. Also with the help of a few friends, this may never be my option...

Monday my cousin (my crackhead cousin half brother) tried to end his life. He hasn't been himself in a few years. It seems when he came back home, he couldn't walk the way he used to. I am not sure of the cause of it. I never knew of him until a few years back.

Since I've known him he was on the strange side. I didn't think much of it because he was raised up north. You know us Southerners think alot of Northerners are strange. Heck it is goes both ways. So I did my part and speak when I saw him. Matter of fact the last time I saw him was on Mother's Day. He was at my Godmother's house.

On Monday when my mother came home from a funeral. My aunt called and said that her neighbor had saw the police talking to my cousin and he was shot. Well the acts of violence has been going on a lot in this town as of late. The Crackheads and Thugs are running wild. So when my mother finally got in contact with my Godmother the news was different.

To come to the point he shot himself. He also said to the police that he was waiting to die. Someone called the police and he feels that is why he didn't die. He is now in the hospital getting the help that he needs. I hope that they will also find out why he wanted to do such an act on himself.

Depression and Failure seems to always be the reason of people having suicidal thoughts. I just want anyone out there that might read this. It truly gets better. The only thing you need to do is think better about yourself. God will carry it through for you. Don't worry about other people. It is you who makes your life worth living for. So please talk to someone. They have phone numbers posted everywhere. If you are afraid to call on anyone, kneel down and pray... God truly does listen...

My Thoughts of the Day... Squatters (Neighborhood Trash Collectors)

I have called the city councilman. I even called the trash collectors. The nasty neighbors that I had has finally left the neighborhood. It was from a family of Mexicans to Crackheads.

The landlord of those houses cleaned them up. He is not my landlord. His houses are across the street from ours.. One day while I was outside he wanted to talk to me. He asked me why is it so hard for him to find good tenants. I told him I wasn't sure. He might need to start getting a background check.

I am going to get back to the point. When he cleans up these two houses he leaves the trash at the side of the road. It has been there for the last 2 weeks. Just imagine what it smells like outside right now. It has been hot and raining. Today he came and took even more stuff out of the crack house. I wish I had a camera that I could show you all this mess.

Now the Mexicans wasn't so bad. I think they left a chair, mattress, and couch. The Crackheads left ever freaking thing I think that they had. It looks like a hot funky mess and I am so ready for the trash people to come and get it.

It is a family of I know about 8 live a few blocks away from me. I believe that one couple in the family are brothers and sisters and they have kids together. Well they go around the neighborhood and always pick up other peoples trash. I tell you these are the most un-kept people I have ever seen. They even smell really bad.

After the landlord left, I think the whole family came up like a pack of ants. They even had a shopping cart full of stuff. I mean I was getting sick to my stomach. The main reason was because the prior owners were crackhead prostitutes. I saw them get bags of clothes, tables, microwave, and the filthy mattress. They were getting other peoples trash..

I don't downgrade anyone.. I just hate to see people having to live like this.

My Thoughts of the Day.. Crackhead..

This is something that I write about a lot. I have this discus with Crackheads. I think it is because of the person I love is on it. My cousin has been doing crack since I think crack came on the scene. It got so bad to the point I wrote an insulting poem about him. I frankly don't like him anymore. I will though continue to pray for him.

He has done so much to this family that I just want to choke him. He walks around like it aint nothing. He tells us he isn't doing it. Yet he still walks around all day smelling of funk.. Crackheads has this wet pennies smell. Then when he moved back down here he started walking around with Cracker Crack hoes. I call them that because they were stopping every car that came down the road.

Yesterday I had to go off on him again. He truly makes me SICK. His mother has been diagnosed with cancer. She can barely walk, and all he wants to do is smoke crack. It is a shame that a person would allow themselves to get to that point. I think I love myself to much to put anything in my system that would affect my health and beauty.

A crackhead doesn't have any emotions. They don't care about the people lives they are hurting. I sometimes feel why should I even care about them. Well I do and I wish that they will seek the help they need.