Love, Sex, and Lies... (You SnEEky Bastard...)

You met him through another friend. At first you didn't want to go to the house party.. You work hard all week and you just wanted to stay at home and kick back. Well your home-girls didn't want to party without you. So you go ahead and tag along.. Hey what harm could it have been.. None...

You happened to notice this guy chit chatting with his buddies. He was someone that you never noticed before. Everyone was having a good time. Your main focus though was to get with that guy. It seems that he stole your heart right then and there. So the two of you exchanged numbers. Which it took a few weeks for you to call back. Although he left you several messages on your phone Voicemail. You wanted to get to know him but you didn't want to come off as EASY and DESPERATE...

So the next time you talk to him, he wanted to know where you lived.  He decides to come over to your place. The two of you talked and talked.. The conversations were wonderful. You felt you met the PERFECT man for you. So it became  almost an everyday thing. Either you went to his house or he was coming to yours.

One night after you and your girls go out, you wanted to stop and surprise him.  You was about chocolate wasted and the girls was going to their men's crib. So you call him. He wasn't doing anything. So he told you sure come over and I'll take you home in the morning..  You go over there and the to of you start sharing secrets. This made you feel good because, if he is going to tell secrets he is really feeling me.   So by that time you were feeling fire between your legs. You couldn't help it. You were drawn to him so you being the person who go for theirs. You unzipped his pants and began to give him some of the best head you never gave anyone else. That was how into you were with him by that point. It must have been good to him too. He seem to have nutted in your mouth and you swallowed. It came quick fast and in a hurry.

So after all that is past and the two of you started having sex. I mean sex all the time.. It didn't even matter where you had sex.. Sex Sex and more Sex was going on. Then the two of you become a couple. If you saw one, you saw the other. You would talk hours at a time if you didn't see each other. You would stay at him home on the weekends. His friends started calling you the queen of his house.

You started introducing him to other friends that he might not know. You even told him about a few friends and how they treated you. Told him things that you couldn't even tell your own girlfriends. Little did you know this guy had a game plan. See the man must had some self esteem problems or he was the type, I got to see how many women I can get type dude.

You begin to ignore certain things. You just thought that the two of them were just good friends. You knew this man loved you. You didn't want to believe anything else. Then one day while you were at his home. A woman pops up at the house. The woman is questioning him about who you were... He comes out and say, oh she just one of my homegirls. (((((((((((WHAT)))))))))))?  You just looked that them both, turn your head and kept on doing what you were doing. Waiting for the woman to leave so you can say your peace.
Once she did leave you asked him about it.. His only answer was " We aren't together"... You thinking the whole time you was this mans girlfriend. It looked, smelled, and acted like one. Just that phrase shut you up. Cause in a few the two of you would be back at doing the do...

By this time yall being "SEEING" each other for a few years.. You started wondering why one of your homegirls become so interested in your relationship.. It started too look like she was talking to your man more than you were. A few times she would tell you about things that you and him discussed. You still trying to figure out how the two of them got close. Cause it was a point and time She flat out told you She didn't like the ground he walked on. You keep quiet, you know somethings up but you choose to investigate more.. Then it seems all your homegirls and some co workers knew something. They would always ask you are you ok... Is something wrong or where is your man....  This went on for a few months...

Oneday you and your homegirls go out.. They are acting as if they wanted to tell you something.. Yet they never did.. You was also wondering why your man called her while you was with her. Yet he hasn't called you ALL day LONG.. You get home and you tried calling him over and over.. He never picked up the phone. You go over his house.. He never answered the door.. All the cars are parked where they should be but no sign of him. You go back home. You take the time to collect your thoughts. Then you head to bed because something is not right.. It is something going on...

Then that morning you get a call from your friend girl.. Your man wants to F me. He has been telling me that for awhile now. I even let a few of our friends listen to the conversation.. When I came to you to you to tell you. I knew you wouldn't believe me. So I wanted them to know so I had proof..  At that time your heart drops. Your body aches.. You didn't know what to do.  You hang up with your friend.. Then you call your man...

"Hello" He seems to already know what's up. You ask him did he say it.. He tried not to admit it.. Trying so hard for him not to hear you crying.. You kept asking him.. Then he says Yes, I want to F your friend. You ask him why and all he can say is, Cause I know I can..   You hung up on him... At this point you are mad at both of them. For a few days you are constantly reminded about everything that has happened.. You start putting two and two together...

You now lost all trust in your man.. You no longer feel he is your soul mate. You being to question your worth, faith, and your purpose of living.. Yet wait... It gets better...


To be Continued...



"one thing I hate the most is for someone to sneak behind my back"

You will see what goes around comes around...

That man in that story will learn what Love means.. He will learn that Sex with different women is not like what he had with the other woman. The woman who loved him.. He will also learn that his lying and not being honesty in a relationship, will cause him heartache and pain in the long run...

October is around the corner...

I was on my way to bed.. Then as I was reading all the twits on  Twitter.. I started thinking about my Birthday Month.. Yay.. On the 15th I will be 35 years of age..  I am getting older.. It seems that time is just going by so fast.  I was also thinking about what I am going to do.. I really want to do it up this year.. The last few years I have been sick during the time of my birthday.. See now that my birthday falls on the weekend.. I got to do SOMETHING.. I don't want it to be another lonely Friday night.. So I hope that my money is straight.. Cause this year.. I wanna do it big.. I am not sure how long I have left on this earth...

I am at my happy place and I want to spread my joy... One of my friend girls said that something Wild and Crazy needs to be done for my birthday.. Well I am always down for the Wild stuff.. I just don't what kind of Crazy she is talking about.. Heck you never know people these days.. She might be trying to get me into some deep trouble that I am not ready for.. LOL

Love, Sex, and Lies...

You love him. It was a point and time he was always there for you. Yall were friends. Like it happened so quickly and then you become pregnant by him.  So years pasted and you thought yall were going to be together forever. You told him your secrets. The two of you started venturing out wanting to try new things to spice up the relationship. He knew you was Bi-curious. You also wanted to feed his need to be with white women. Cause everyone know around town, He loves himself some White Women.. You love this man and all you could think of is this man. You even let yourself go, just to keep up with this man. So the two of you began having sex with the same White Girl. He was feeling her and so was you.  Then it became too much. He started sneaking out with the girl behind your back.. A few months into it.. She comes up pregnant.. Damn, he would say to himself. Him not being happy what so ever about it.. He know he done F up.

To make matters worst you still trying to remain friends with the girl knowing he now has her pregnant. The girl came up with all kind of stuff trying to make you leave him. You still don't know how to let go. He is always at your home.. Sometimes the two of you are still sleeping together. Yet you never know where his mind is at. So you got tired.. You put him out of your house.. He is still coming over because the two of you do have a child together...

Then he moves on to his other motives.. He begins to date other women. Wanting women to sorta feel sorry for him. You know being the charmer that he is. Thinking that his life is so mess up he doesn't know where to turn.. So it is one chick, he has been feeling for a very long time. He starts messing around with her. Only a few people know about the two of them. They became sexual being from the very start. It was like their chemistry was meant to contact one another.  He got that girl so into him. He was like a breath of fresh air for her. He would give her sex beyond believe. This woman knew about the other chick. She just wanted him it didn't matter if he had someone. Heck, she knew the real deal. It was him that kept on lying about it. This chick didn't even know about the baby on the way. She didn't even know about the other women he was seeing.. All she knew was about the Baby Mother.

Then it came to a point to where the past became part of the present once again.. He stopped calling and seeing the other chick. He went back to a white woman that he dated before. This woman always put up with the shyt he dished out. If he did she didn't care, sorta like the baby mother.. The only thing that this woman doesn't know.. He was still messing with the Baby Mothers and another random chicks.. She thinks that she has that throwback.. Little do this woman know, he just at a down time in his life. He fell off grace and he is using her as a stepping stone to rise back to the top. She has been heard bragging on how he loves her and no one else.

The 1st baby mother is still confused cause she is not understanding what the deal is.. She feels torn.. She later finds out about the past back to the future. She also finds out a whole lot more. She is at the point where His love, His Sex, and his Lies is just showing his true colors of him not being the man she thought she knew.......................


This man lies is one day going to get him in some trouble...  He thinks that people are mad at him. He thinks people don't understand him.. Little do he knows, there were people willing to stand beside him and help him through his issues.. He just remains to keep on doing things that will come back and bite him in the ass...

To be continued..


I swear this  would make a great movie.. What you all think?



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Reconnecting...

I have lost myself along the way. I am not quite sure where I left off.. I don't know where I could even begin to find it either.  See once I fell in love I think I forgot about all the things that brought me joy.  I was an avid reader of books and blogs. I would write everyday in my blog. I enjoyed having my OWN website to do those things.

I was some what proud of myself. I felt that I came a long way from being so quiet and a lone. See for a minute or two I didn't even think anyone care to what I had to say. I am bit of a Narcissist. I do find myself always talking about myself and holding myself to a certain level..

I do care about others and I do go out my way to want people to feel special.. Then that is when I loose myself. I did give so much of myself. I ended up loosing it.

So now I am going back to writing.. I am going back to reading.. I am going back to the way of life that always brought me so much joy.. Single and Fabulous I say. I don't have to worry about anything else, but my peace of mind. So if you can break me away from my free time on Facebook.. You will get more blogs entries from me..

 I also am thinking about posting more of my daily photos on here too..  That was another thing that I enjoyed so much.. Photo taking myself crazy at one point.. .

My life is going to be what I make it out to be.. So no more loosing myself in other people.. I am Tracy.. I got to live for Tracy..

Regardless of what you say....

Hi everyone.. This week has been a very busy and long week for me.. On top of that, I wasn't feeling up to par...  I finally got my hours back at work so they have been keeping me really busy. So when I get home I just relax and play my games. 

I dealt with a lot of other issues to. I am still hung up over the fact that my crush is now saying he is just to busy to come around. I seriously doubt that though.  I hear more things about him in the last few weeks.. I send thanks to God that I wasn't going to regret sleeping with him. I found out about him spending time at what was suppose to be an ex girl friend house. Let's just say, he might be living there. I was like WTF... 

I tell you some men are just flat out ass holes.  Yet on the other hand.. I don't even care anymore. I am just tired of the games that some play. I am going to enjoy myself.  He always told me that he tells me what he wants me to know.. So be it.. One day he is going to need me more than I need him.

I was discussing this with another one of my male friends. He thought that I have no reason to be mad at my crush.. He told me I will never be a Queen to a man. I started looking at him sideways. I was like a friend would tell me that. I said, please tell me more. Well he feels that I would always be a second. A man will not see me as his woman. He goes on to say that I act to much like a man. Which I thought was hilarious. I am really prissy and girlie.. .

He goes on to say, I tend to tell men what to do. I might have had more women than some of the men that I've dated.  I am always take the lead and never the follower when it comes to a relationship. 

I agree that I am demanding. Most of the men I ever dealt with needed some kind of direction, because they acted like they didn't know any better.  I just want respect and honesty.. Is that too much to ask for. 

Regardless of what my friend guy said.. I know I will be a Queen to someone someday.. I just need to find a man that is worthy of it all.. I keep on finding wolves in sheeps clothing. I must don't know how to pick them anymore. I really thought my crush was going to be some what of a good guy. He really is a nice person. He just keep to much to himself. I wish he was more up front with me. 

I will get this all right oneday... I am starting to focus more on me anyway. So I will be back to normal soon.. Thank you Jesus...

Neighborhood starting to fall apart...

I been here almost my whole life. Except the couple of times I moved. My neighborhood was not the best of neighborhoods. It was all family though. It was mostly older people. It was quiet not much of traffic and what not.

Well now they are letting whom ever live here. I am about tired of it. There are kids that live on this street. Not teenagers, but little children. If it isn't the Mexican across the street with his loud music and his beer drinking.  It is I wanna be a thug next door neighbor shooting his gun and his friends parking in front of my house.

People just don't have respect anymore. They just don't give a f about the people around them.

This is not the 1st time that my neighbor has done this. Every time he does it the police is called but by the time they get here he is gone. The landlord, I don't  know what to say about him. I am just tired of waking up in the middle of the night listening to all this.

I think he does it to be funny. I don't know what was going on, because I was asleep. I just heard the shots and fell to the floor. I hate not feeling safe in my own house. Bullets does not have a name. What is wrong with these people, I would never understand. I said tonight it better not happen. I have to be at work at 6am and I sho don't want to be awaken.

I have even told him to tell his friends stop parking in front of my house. I don't want people to think that all this commotion is happening at my house.  This world has fell off the deep end. My once quiet neighborhood is falling apart. I am not going to let it happen...

When we got rid of the crack heads across the street. We now have gun toting wanna be thugs...

We live in a world that everyone is just.. "Too Damn Busy"..

As of this moment I am going through something real big.. I am trying to keep myself so busy so I won't think of the downfall of everything.  I know that we all have our own lives to live. Some of us don't know how to ration out time. 

Last week, I text my Crush. I believe I did it last Monday. I get a text back on Wednesday. Saying hello.. Me and my smartass.. I was like WOW I am so shocked.. I got a response out of you. Well he says now he has NO FREE time what so ever... Ok I understand that you work weekends... I understand you take your daughter to school every morning... Ok.. I don't understand what you do between 8am to the following 8am...  

I believe he struck a nerve in me. I had to just bust out saying things that I think I wouldn't have. I am so trying to control my anger issue.  I said that I can not always have my way. 

So then it comes to another one of my friends. I understand hers though. She has 2 young children, a live in ass hole and she goes to school. So me not able to talk and cry to her. That is just out of the question right now. I don't even bother... 

Well it made me come to the conclusion.. I am going to start being Too Damn Busy.. I am always there for these people. I am always there when they having a problem. I have now made myself officially unable to help you.. I am just to busy.. I have no free time. 

I am about to go through a life experience that I have to give 100 percent of my time, effort, and patience too... Plus I got my hours back at work.. So I am not only going to be busy.. I am going to be tired out of my mind.. LOL

I also need to start blogging more. I have so much on my brain, I just don't know where to start...