I'm on Vacation.. You know what.. I needed it...

Yes I have been on vacation since Friday pasted... I have really enjoyed myself.  I also learned a lot about things to. I have heard somethings that just not sitting right with me. I can't believe some people to bring certain things to their mouths to say.

On Friday I went to a party that was for my ex boyfriend. It turned out to be very good. Me and him are still very good friends. I am so glad of that. We have a bond that I believe no one can break. Well at least I hope no one breaks.

Then on Saturday went out with my cousin and a mutual friend. It felt like old times to party back to back like that. I needed it away. Earlier that day was a mess. I had someone try to tell me off. Remember the sick and extra phone line.  Well he says I would never get married because I am rude, mean, and hateful. I finally cut the line off. I can do bad by myself and I don't need his help. A few weeks back I told him that he has to pay the bill. I haven't been getting many hours.  So I have been living check to check. Well mister tried to get a BIG attitude with me about it. So I was like ok I am going to fix this problem.  I did and I am happy with my decision.

Then my crush has gotten to do better with his timing. I am not mad at him, but right now he is working my nerves. I knew that it was going to come to this point. I don't know why I expected him to be different... LOL
He is cool and he is still in the process of getting his shyt together. I just wanted to see his ass when I came back home. Well today is the day when I SUPPOSE to see him. Who knows what today has in store for me. I just know my mood has change since Monday.. lol

I go back to work on Monday and I do know something isn't going to sit with me well. I was told that I might have to do another person job when I get back. I don't want to do it. I just know I have to because of the reasons of my past eval. He wants me to do more around the store. So I guess that is what I will be doing. bummer...

I need this time to think on my next move. I going to set some goals. I am also going to loose some freaking weight. I saw some of the pictures I've taken and LORDY I look a mess. hehehehe

wanting, waiting, then POW... It sure is good to those who wait....

Have you ever just imagined someone in the bed with you? I mean wanting them so bad that sometimes when you sleep at night in your dream you are making love to them. It seems so real you literally wake up and it felt like you have really just made passionate, explosive sex...

I rarely talk about sex on my blogs. I don't think I really talk about it at all. I just know that this was something I can't keep to myself. So why not tell you all.

You know the crush that I have. You know that we have been chilling for awhile. Then he would have some kind of way with getting me hot and aroused and then leave. Well it went on for a few weeks.  Those weeks turn into some major dreams for me. I am so attracted to him and it has been like this for years.  I would always see him and I would instantly melt. I was excited that it took a babymama, dating outside his race, and relationship to where he felt used. He found his way to me. Not necessary his way to me. We've known each other all our lives.  To make a long story short.. We always had a connection, just wasn't the time to connect.

As I stated I started having these dreams of it all. The I even questioned myself should I continue to talk to this guy. I mean we have a great time together and it is not just about sex. We are good friends and chilling with him is also a plus. I just know that our chemistry is so beyond platonic friends. It has always been that sexual attraction from the day I first saw him as a man.

Well that day finally came not to long ago. I tell you I had to pinch myself to make sure when it happened that I wasn't dreaming. I tell you dreams come true. His love making was ooooooooooooo so my oooooooooooooooo so Gosh... I have had some great sex in my life time, but this man is got me tippie toeing..  It wasn't like the rainbow color clouds I saw with MC. Which I do say was wonderful. It was something that I felt was meant to happen. I found another passionate lover. OO even talking about it making chills go all over me.


I stared wanting and waiting for this moment to happen. I never thought that it would. It seems like a lifetime was put between the two of us. I had to go all those years wondering would I even get the chance to get close to him. Then when I got his call wanting to see me after he got off work. I was already in rare form and was ready for it to happen. I was going to make sure he didn't leave my house without laying himself on me.

His deep, soft to strong strokes glided in and out of me. Making my wall seep my sweet juices from them. Then him holding my breast like they were the perfect roses in his hands. OMG... He took me to a place that was so familiar to me... It was the place that I constantly had in my dream.. The man that I have desired for so long giving me ultimate pleasure. I no longer had to wake up from this one. The feeling was oh so real.  It was more than I expected....

Good things sure does happen to those who wait.. I am so glad we took our time. I am happy that ever since that day.. It has gotten better and better... He is not only my friend but he has reached another level.. He is now my lover....

So what... Why are you worried...?

I tell you for years, people have been trying to tell me how to live my life. I think that is why sometimes I get into the rut of depression. People expect more from me that I am willing to even put out.

Like yesterday My manager talked to me. It was my eval and he wanted to discuss something with me. He said I have the potential to do great things, but he don't see me having any interest in doing so.  I tried to tell him it is like this.. I've been there and done it. I didn't care to much about it. See when I was the IN store Manager it was always problems. I did my job, I enjoyed my job. I was good at it. I was just not the right look at the time. One night the regional manager came in. I think the whole thing when I had dreads always gave them the shivers. Well the next day they demoted me. I don't know why and really I didn't care at the point. I have seen so many others not do their job. I was doing mine and they didn't like it either. Well I got demoted but still keep the same pay. So it was their lost. So I don't want them to build  me up to bring me back down.

I also had two ex boyfriends who just didn't like my laid back character. See I am happy the way things are in my life. I don't usually complain much. Then only time it gets me down is when people hassle me. I know I might be afraid of doing a lot of things. I just don't like failure. I move at my own pace. When I choose to do something that is when I do it..
I have those who complain about me being at the same work place for the last 15/16 years. I have people fuss because I still live in the same city that I grew up in. I even have people fussing about me moving back home with my mother.  Why is it everyone is trying to tell me how to live my life?

So what I live at home.. I moved out 10 years ago. I stayed away for 6 years, I ended up moving back home to help my mother. Out of those few years I did let my boyfriend (one of those who argued with me) at the time move in. I didn't like it. I was being a wife without the ring. I kicked him out and I was content.  I said the next time I do move out I will be married.  I have gotten used to not living a lone and I don't want to. I don't ask my mother for NOTHING.. I don't ask a man for NOTHING.. I might not live a lone but I sure hell am independent.

So what I've been on my job for a long time. Well I don't like working but I have became comfortable. I enjoy the fact that if I need off I get it..  I might not like all the people that I come in contact on a daily basis, but the ones I do like is worth it. I don't work hard if I don't want to.  As long as I got a paycheck, benefits, and work, it shouldn't matter that I been there 15+ years..

I just don't get why people think they have the right to choose my life for me. If I am happy and content with the way things are. Don't try and force me to be something I will never be,  I do have goals and I do have some motivation.. I just choose to wait.. When it is my time God will give me the okay..

So yes I am complacent. Why are you so worried?

I am about sick with this State....

The old saying goes.. " Nothing Could be Finer than South Carolina"... Well I tell you that is a BOLD face lie. I don't know who in the hell invented this. At this present moment all hell is breaking loose in this state. I tell you this is going to be one interesting year as far as South Carolina goes...


First of all the Governors race is getting too OUT of hand.. The Democratic are not getting much air time.  I have yet to hear an add on tv.. Well I take that back, we have one I think his name is Sheenhan...I kinda like the dude. It seems that he would be ok as Governor.  See South Carolina is and has always been a Red State. So I already know a Republican is going to take the wheel.

This Nikki Haley There has been two men going around saying that she has slept with them. One says he has proof and the other one says he don't. Who knows, but she is sticking to her story. She says she has not been unfaithful to her husband. I am not to fond of her, basically cause she had Sarah Palin supporting her. They just rub me the wrong way.  It a lot of mug slinging back and forth when it comes to this campaign.
She is saying that it has a lot to do with the fact she is ahead in the polls. Our now Lt. Governor Andre Bauer is behind it all so she says..

I definitely don't want this man in office. First of all he is now the Lt. Governor. I wasn't a big fan of Mr. Sanford and I am not of him either. Mr, Bauer said something awhile back about comparing people on welfare to animals. Then he also has an ad that he was Tea Party before there was a Tea Party.

Why is it that the Republican Party main platform is Morals and Family Values with Christian undertones are the BIGGEST Bigots ever? I have not really got the point of that.. My family raised Christian (Baptist to be exact) and I was told never down a person. I swear this is all that they are doing. Then it is like they are blaming OBAMA for everything that is wrong with this country... How? He has not been in there that long to mess up anything.. I just don't get it.. I swear it is some underlying RACISM going on here.

My deepest Sympathies goes out to the Hill family *no relation I don't think*.. . Mattie Hill lost her son this week because of a hate crime. It happened in Newberry South Carolina. He was shot tied with a rope and dragged 11 miles under a truck by a white co worker. If it wasn't a hate crime still this should have not happened.  For my info on this story More on the story

See this stuff sickens me. I know this can happen anywhere. When will all of this end. I feel like crying right along with this family. No one deserves to loose a life over anything as petty for the color of ones skin. Even if a person makes you mad, still nothing to take a life over.