Happy New Years!!

So far 2013 is looking up!!

I didn't want to bring it in at a club but I did.. I am glad too.. I got to see 3D in person.. Yes K. Michelle was at a club for the New Years Eve party.. I enjoyed it very much..

As you can tell in this dark grainy picture...

Since she is my sister's favorite person in the world.. I think my sister had an awesome night too.. 

Look at how she is cheesing.. LOL 

My cousin also got to get on stage and sing next to K.. 

So in such amazement.. 2013 is going to bring us all joy and happiness.. I just know it..

Happy New Year everyone!!!!!!!!!

To thee be over..

You chase me…

You said yourself; you wanted to get to know me…

At first I didn’t want to start anything with you…

I saw you around, but I never knew of you..

You weren’t my type and It was so new.

After all the weeks of talking,

I started falling…

You promised that you would never hurt me, I was the one that made your life complete.

Cards, hugs, kisses, even date night were so special…

Came close to moving in with you, by that time I knew it was official.

I fell in love with you… Flaws and all….

We shared laughs, we shared cries.. We shared secrets and from my part they were never lies..

Months started passing…. I started to feel comfortable… I told most of my family about you..

I was happy I came out with you…

You started to change, things wasn’t the same..

It became too complacent… The things you used to do, you stopped doing…

You would do things with me not included. Going out of town on trips…

It was a time where we were inseparable. The loneliness I started feeling was unbearable.

My world came crashing down all in one month… You said, “ I don’t have time for this relationship”…

I couldn’t believe… How could this be true.. You said you Love me and you know I love you..

All the changes, all the sacrifices that were made just to make you happy.

You wanted us just to be friends no longer soul mates..

Now I stand here alone with nothing or no one. Missing out on doing things I used to do and facing the world.  I can’t get up enough energy and too embarrassed to face it.

You HURT me in ways you once said you wouldn’t..

I know that things aren’t promised to be forever.. I just can’t forget those words you said, WE WILL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER…

Yes, I fell in love with a false sense of a person.. You weren’t completely honest with me. I know this to be true..

I can say, although we aren’t together in the relationship sense of the word. You have been there for when I was sick and down.. Is it that you still care? I’ll never truly know..

I can’t keep going on this rollercoaster emotional ride. You already have another woman by your side.

You say it isn’t like that… I know it is.. It is a true fact…..

I would never be able to trust you again after all the pain you caused me. If that time comes again when you say you want me…

So now that we are friends, it seems you still have a hard time dealing with me. It’s like when I say things about me wanting another, you get so agitated.  When I bring up your relationship with the other, you get so defensive..

I no longer try to read you.. I no longer even care about the other.. I just hope that the way you did me, you won’t be that way with her..

I don’t hate you.. I am disappointed in you.. You broke my heart when that was the last thing you said you would do from the start.

I made a vow to forgive you.. I figured it out you wasn’t the right one for me. I need someone to understand, love, cherish, and inspire me…  I wasn’t right for you.. So as I close this and remember the times that we shared… The good, the bad, the ugly is not going to make me sad… It was an experience that I needed to go through… After all is said and done… Life goes on.. New memories need to be made.. You was a person I loved.. Now, where do we go from here?

What a Weekend.. Fill with Booze, Fun, and even stupid.. (crap)

This weekend has to go down in the books as one of the best I've had in a VERY long time.. I celebrated my birthday with lots of fun.. It also had a few down too.. I am just thankful I made it to another year... Thank you Jesus...

I stayed over my cousin's house for the weekend.. I know that was my best bet to enjoy my Birthday. It seems that my cousin had a better time than at first.. Then I got it cracking... We went to see my favorite band downtown. I love that group.. I swear I got to make it more often.. I was grooving.. Also the guy that I met a few weeks back, came to celebrate with me. He was also throwing out the doe... :) He made sure I was going to enjoy my birthday.. After the band we left and met up with a few more friends at this bar and grill I like. That's when the party got started right. I love how that dj mixes up the music.. He has new music, Old School, and Phil Collins.. LOL  Then me and my friend that I met.. I tell you I don't know if  I was drunk or I am really feeling him.. We made some type of connection.. We were kissing up a freaking storm.. It was weird, because I look at him as the quiet type that doesn't make the 1st move... Yet he did.. (he is a VERY good kisser too) We were having such a good time until booooooooooooooom.. My cousins boyfriend called. I swear this relationship of hers is starting to really wreck my nerves.. She had to leave cause she had to go pick him up... Ughhhhhhhh..
So got back to her house and by this time I was really pissed.. Up until my phone rings and it was someone I really had been thinking about.. He came over and sat up with me.. We ended up talking until 8 something that morning... The rest of the day became a blur.. I was sleeping off and on all day...

Well Saturday night was cool.. We went to this little hole in a wall.. I didn't like it there much because of the music and the kids. You know those young folks and that Gucci Mane music.. So we stayed there long enough to have a few drinks.. I was also in the presence of my cousins friend.. Dang that woman is cute as a button.. I couldn't keep my eyes off her... So then we went off to my favorite Strip Club.. Club Money.. I tell you that I don't like to pay to get in, but if you are the type that loves to see Beautiful, Nicely Shaped Women,  plus a few of them does some awesome tricks..It is one woman that I swear I would be so nervous around. She is beautiful, thick thighs, thick booty, and boobies.. You should have saw all that money she was carrying around.. Men were make it rain on her like it was no tomorrow.. I see why she is there most of the time...  I even had to throw her a couple of dollars...(don't get me wrong, I feel that sometimes strip clubs are degrading to women..) I just love the atmosphere there.. Plus there are A LOT of security in that place.
Then Boooooooooooooooom my cousins boyfriend got kicked out.. She left with him but refused to answer her phone so me and the others after 30 minutes left out. He pissed me off so bad.. I kept asking her why in the hell she remains with this damn child.

Then came back home yesterday to spend time with my family from NC... I enjoyed this weekend and I can not wait until next year that I can do it all again.. Well not exactly wait until next year to have a good time but my birthday is always on point...,...

wanting, waiting, then POW... It sure is good to those who wait....

Have you ever just imagined someone in the bed with you? I mean wanting them so bad that sometimes when you sleep at night in your dream you are making love to them. It seems so real you literally wake up and it felt like you have really just made passionate, explosive sex...

I rarely talk about sex on my blogs. I don't think I really talk about it at all. I just know that this was something I can't keep to myself. So why not tell you all.

You know the crush that I have. You know that we have been chilling for awhile. Then he would have some kind of way with getting me hot and aroused and then leave. Well it went on for a few weeks.  Those weeks turn into some major dreams for me. I am so attracted to him and it has been like this for years.  I would always see him and I would instantly melt. I was excited that it took a babymama, dating outside his race, and relationship to where he felt used. He found his way to me. Not necessary his way to me. We've known each other all our lives.  To make a long story short.. We always had a connection, just wasn't the time to connect.

As I stated I started having these dreams of it all. The I even questioned myself should I continue to talk to this guy. I mean we have a great time together and it is not just about sex. We are good friends and chilling with him is also a plus. I just know that our chemistry is so beyond platonic friends. It has always been that sexual attraction from the day I first saw him as a man.

Well that day finally came not to long ago. I tell you I had to pinch myself to make sure when it happened that I wasn't dreaming. I tell you dreams come true. His love making was ooooooooooooo so my oooooooooooooooo so Gosh... I have had some great sex in my life time, but this man is got me tippie toeing..  It wasn't like the rainbow color clouds I saw with MC. Which I do say was wonderful. It was something that I felt was meant to happen. I found another passionate lover. OO even talking about it making chills go all over me.


I stared wanting and waiting for this moment to happen. I never thought that it would. It seems like a lifetime was put between the two of us. I had to go all those years wondering would I even get the chance to get close to him. Then when I got his call wanting to see me after he got off work. I was already in rare form and was ready for it to happen. I was going to make sure he didn't leave my house without laying himself on me.

His deep, soft to strong strokes glided in and out of me. Making my wall seep my sweet juices from them. Then him holding my breast like they were the perfect roses in his hands. OMG... He took me to a place that was so familiar to me... It was the place that I constantly had in my dream.. The man that I have desired for so long giving me ultimate pleasure. I no longer had to wake up from this one. The feeling was oh so real.  It was more than I expected....

Good things sure does happen to those who wait.. I am so glad we took our time. I am happy that ever since that day.. It has gotten better and better... He is not only my friend but he has reached another level.. He is now my lover....

Had a WONDERFUL weekend.. I so deserved it...

 

It was a rough week for me. So when I did decided to hang out with my friends on Friday night.. I was more than happy... After dealing with work and then coming to the realization about myself. I needed to be with those who I am closest too.  Although I had to work Friday and Saturday.. I got by with no sleep and still had one helluva time. 

We had a seafood party. I mean SEAFOOD.. Crab Legs, Crawfish, Shrimp, Catfish, Hushpuppies,  and Salmon. I also made a punch. I think we also got really Tipsy.. We stayed up until I know around 4. I had to get back up cause I had to be at work. It felt good to just sit, eat, and shot the breeze. After I told them about the step I am getting ready to take. I was happy that they plan on supporting me 100% of the way.

After I got off work on Saturday, we did it all again.  It wasn't just Shrimp this time. We threw in some Steak..  I got even more busted than the night before. I believe it was because of no sleep and nothing to eat. I ended up texting one of my old friends. I had to ask him did he believe that I was a bad person. I hate I did that though. It became an hour long back and forth conversation. He was trying to tell me that a good man will one day come to me and love me the way I need to be loved. After hearing that I had to just say.. Goodnight, we will talk later.  (I didn't want to hear that mess).. It is getting so old.

I came home today. I am so restless. It is a good thing that I am off tomorrow. I really believe I am going to get some rest. We said, that it might happen all again come this weekend. I can't wait. It feels so good to get out.. I love my best friend.. I thank you so much.. My gray cloud turned to white clouds toward the end of the week. It was all because of the people I am most closest too...