Either you Jump.. Or you Stand back..

Yesterday I posted a Facebook Status.. 

"You can push and push and push... Until there is a cliff next to you.. You can either back off or jump... It's all in how you feel about it...''

This is co signing with a few things I had to hear or deal with over the last few days...

It has nothing to do with jumping off a cliff or life getting you down..

It is how people are pushing me to my limits.. They trying to get me all riled up... 

It is them trying to start something with me, when they better stand back...

I am the Cliff... If you have problems with me.. Come to me.. If not back off.. I don't get it.. Some talk all this mess, but not a nan came to me about it... Not  a Single Soul..

Yet they are suppose to come to me and say something..  So I am just waiting on the day,.. 

You can't control what someone does or wants to do. 

So keep trying me.. You might just get your feeling here.. Don't look to start trouble.. If you do.. It might not be so easy to handle...

In the Season..

I don't know what to expect as of late... See it is like this... I have been one that doesn't like to be on the rebound. So I tend not to jump into another relationship after another one. It took me 3 years to date someone else after MC. That was when I turned my life around with the last relationship...

I am not quite sure if I am in season or not.. LOL  It's like this.. I am now having several people after me.. Heck, I have one already claiming me. I am going to give you all the rundown on them..

Let's call this one J1... He is someone from my past.. I have been out with him a couple of times.. He is just someone who remembers the person I was from my past.. Yea... I was wild as they come.. When me and this guy hooked up.. It wasn't ever just US if you get the hint.. He knew about all my bi-sexual tendencies.. A few months ago he expressed his feelings that he SUPPOSED to have for me. He said he was always afraid because it was always all about MC... (I made it know to EVERYONE that I LOVED that man)... So he is now CLAIMING me as his girlfriend.. I haven't approved that message.. LOL

Then J2... Lawd.. He is another one from my past.. I swear it is coming back to HAUNT me.. He is a friend of a guy that I used to date... (whom which is also calling off the hook)... He saw me a few weeks ago.. It was good to see him.. So it wasn't a big deal by giving him my number at least I thought... Well this fool has been calling me out the ying yang... Begging me to come see him.. I keep telling him NO.. He is being persistent.

J3 is a childhood friend.. My mother and his mother used to work together, plus we were born a few days apart. J3, his twin sister, and I all went to school together.. He confessed his love for me.. He said over the years he always admired me.. He always wanted to talk to me. He was just afraid how I would act because of the color issue. Plus now he is disabled. So he feels that I wouldn't want to talk to him. He just felt the need to let me know how beautiful and awesome I was.. He wants me to go out on dates with him.

So I not sure as to what to do.. I fell like I am just in the season right now.. So I am not going to make anything into it. I am not rushing or so desperate that I have to have someone... I am just chill..

New Phone.... Want another one...

Today I got my early Birthday Gift.... I got me an Iphone... I've been wanting one for awhile. So it was free... (I don't pay for phones)... So once getting this phone I was kinda excited.. Mainly because I was getting so tired of my old phone always losing memory or not enough space... So once getting this phone.. It took me almost 3 hours before I just wanted to give the damn thing back..



It took me for ever to get the thing activated.. Mainly because I don't have WiFi and I was having trouble loading Itunes.. It took me 3 reps and a few things on my own.. Now I got it to working.. I got some of my old apps on there... I even tested out Syri... I want my own ringtones (ones I dont have to pay for) and I asked Syri and she ended up calling one of my friends.. I was like that sounds nothing like that..

Now I am more hi tech now.. I really and truly want to go back to Andriod.. It will not be until they have one FREE... LOL

I am going to sit back and try learning this darn thing.. I am stuck with it for a year.. So I should just enjoy it..
I am just so happy I didn't have to re add my contact list lol...

It doesn't matter anymore...

Happy October Folks... I hope all is well for each and every one of you.  You know I normally give this big Hoopla about my Birthday every year.. Well this year I am keeping it low key and laid back.. I think I am the only one who has ever made a "BIG DEAL" about birthday's anyway. It seems no one around me really gives a rip about birthday's...

This years is the 1st year in a LONG TIME that I will not be doing anything..  Yes, I am kinda disappointed but you know... I am a big girl and I will get over it.. People tell me.. It's just another day.. So I guess I better get used to it.  It was a few things I wanted to do to celebrate. It looks like I will be doing alone. 

I have shut so many people out of my life.. I thought I did what was best for me. I had to remove myself from the negative folks in my life. Since I did that over a year ago.. I have found myself ALONE. Then those who I would allow in my life.. I am afraid to because of my trust issues. I believe no one around me would have my best interest at hand. 

It's so weird... This time last year, I was having the time of my life. I felt that everything was looking up in my favor.. I was also in love. I was extremely happy.. I am still Happy.. I might not be the jumping up and shinning happy.. I am more on the thankful happy.. I am happy to see another year alive... I thank God for that..  

So as I see another year.. I accept things and people that I can not change.. 

So I am accepting this lonely life I am leading.. I'm relying on God.. I have too.. I believe if I don't will truly go crazy.. 

So come Monday... I will be a 37 year old woman... Older and wiser...