It doesn't matter anymore...

Happy October Folks... I hope all is well for each and every one of you.  You know I normally give this big Hoopla about my Birthday every year.. Well this year I am keeping it low key and laid back.. I think I am the only one who has ever made a "BIG DEAL" about birthday's anyway. It seems no one around me really gives a rip about birthday's...

This years is the 1st year in a LONG TIME that I will not be doing anything..  Yes, I am kinda disappointed but you know... I am a big girl and I will get over it.. People tell me.. It's just another day.. So I guess I better get used to it.  It was a few things I wanted to do to celebrate. It looks like I will be doing alone. 

I have shut so many people out of my life.. I thought I did what was best for me. I had to remove myself from the negative folks in my life. Since I did that over a year ago.. I have found myself ALONE. Then those who I would allow in my life.. I am afraid to because of my trust issues. I believe no one around me would have my best interest at hand. 

It's so weird... This time last year, I was having the time of my life. I felt that everything was looking up in my favor.. I was also in love. I was extremely happy.. I am still Happy.. I might not be the jumping up and shinning happy.. I am more on the thankful happy.. I am happy to see another year alive... I thank God for that..  

So as I see another year.. I accept things and people that I can not change.. 

So I am accepting this lonely life I am leading.. I'm relying on God.. I have too.. I believe if I don't will truly go crazy.. 

So come Monday... I will be a 37 year old woman... Older and wiser...