At Times

At times I wonder what would my life be like if I made different choices... Its now early Sunday morning and my mind is on over load... I want to go to sleep but Its so hard to do so...
I have pushed so many people away and I don't have many solid friendships.. To be honest I have only one and that's a family member.. In which she is about to get married and moved to another state.  My other close friend is locked up. She will be out early 2018.
So I lay here bored out my mind. I don't really have time (mentally) for a relationship because me being my moms caregiver. Plus I don't get out much anymore to meet people. Then when I do men tend to think I'm mean and unapproachable. I do sometimes give the stank look (habit)... 

As you all over the years that have read my blog I've been hurt by love so much, I just guard myself really tight now. I know exactly what I want now and instead of being patient and overlooking I'm blunt upfront. I know it might result in a lonely life but, Hey... What am I supposed to do?

I'm Bored....

I am SO BORED... It is already near summer and I haven't did one thing to be entertained by.. I hate being this way.. I tend to turn to food and smoking a lot of newports.. I need do get up and get out and do something...

That is the hard thing to do right now.. Since money is tight.. No form of transportation because Gas is so high.. Friends occupied with children, marriage, and relationships. I am not doing much.  I kinda miss the days  when you can hop in the car and have a night on the town for under 50 dollars. Even being able to go out and buy an outfit.

I can remember when I just did all of those things. I've been out but the things I did was so limited.. I plan on taking a vacation this year right before I move. I hope when I do this I will be able to knock some of this boredom away.  I am also looking into finding something else to do with my time. I tried walking yet the heat, rain, and these bugs are getting to me.

So on this Sunday.. I just sat around the house.. I ate, slept, and typed this short blog... LOL I am even getting bored with my Facebook games.. I never thought the day I would say that...