My Thoughts of Today... Halloween

Well today is October 31st, 2008.. Today is Halloween... I never been big on this holiday. Yet it seems the older I get I have a great time dressing up in costumes. When I was a kid, I hated it. I didn't like getting in and out the car. I didn't like the ugly makeup and so forth.
This year I am dressing up as 1980's punk/pop rocker. I will be the black Cyndi Lauper... (LOL)..

The thing that I really and truly don't like is giving out candy. I swear some of these kids around here are greedy. You give them one piece of candy and they look at you all funny. Then it is also a dangerous time for kids to be out without their parents. I just have a problem with parents let their kids walk the streets in the dark without them. I frankly don't care if it is just in the neighborhood.

I also enjoy the horror movies that come on television. I am a big horror and suspense movie goer. I am a fan of South Carolina's haunting and ghost stories. What is the funniest thing to everyone else, is the fact I am death scared of The Wizard of Oz. So my friends pick on me about the horror movies.

Be save and have a Happy Halloween....

My Thoughts of Today.. Chicken

I know this is kind of a crazy thought of today. I just have to talk about this. I am sick of CHICKEN.. Since I have been on this diet and trying to live a healthy life, I been eating chicken. I don't eat red meat, heck I barely eat meat at all. So when I do all my meal consists of chicken.

I can't not eat fish in my home, mother is allergic to it. Then she does not eat pork at all.

I know my BFF would go nuts if he knows I am tired of chicken. He is one of the people that I know, including my mother that worships chicken. I am trying to figure out who was the person who first thought to fry the ugly bird.

I am sick of Poultry all together. I am sick of Turkey also. I tried going back to being a vegan and that didn't work out so well. It seems that, well I am not going to tell you the ordeal I was having with being a vegan. It would be to much information (TMI).

So what am I going to do with all the CHICKEN that I have in my freezer? I know I don't plan on eating anymore until after Thanksgiving, I hope.

My thought of Today...Politics

If you are like me, you are so ready for Election Day. Well I decided to do a show tonight on my Blogtalk Radio. We will be talking about the good, bad, and the ugly side of politics.

Who are you supporting? Will we recover from the last 8 years of this mess? Lets talk about it... Moments with Mahogany 8pm EST...

I am back...

I am back on the scene. I am not sure for how long though. I am going to start another budget plan soon. I have to learn how to manage myself. I am the only one in the house working. So I am going to try and go to another form of service. I am still waiting for AOL to reimburse me the money they took from me during a free trial. I haven't figured that out quite yet... So I am going to be in an out of here. I got to find me a part time gig.. Take care..

My Thoughts of Today....My Dreads

My Dreads...



Lord know I love my hair. I waited almost all my life to get locs. It took me when I turn 30 to do so. I got tired of the perms and spending all that money on getting my hair just right. I am at the most happiest state of hair right now.

My only problem is... I am getting so sick and tired of doing my own. I live in a town where people really don't like people with dreads. I get those looks and the asking questions. You know those "Do you wash your hair?" I hate when people ask that too. Of course I wash my hair. I do take care of myself.

Well the town over have people who do locs. They cost me a arm and a leg to do it. I mean I can do my own for free at home. They will charge me between 60 to 80 dollars to just to the new growth. So I am in a state that I have to do my own. :(

My 3rd year anniversary will be coming up soon. I started locing my hair in November of 2005. I had to break down and forget about what people was going to say. I tell you since then I am proud that I made this decision. It has been one of the hightlights of my life...


I love my Dreads..

My Thoughts of Today.. Tough Times

Right now I am in a state that I don't know what to do but leave it to God. I thought that this year would be so much better than last year. Oh boy wasn't I wrong. I am at the point where I feel like I am worth more dead than alive.

I keep saying trouble don't last always. When I say I cut back I have cut back. I am losing hours on my job. They don't want to pay me more. I had to have work done on my mouth. I am living on a costly overdraft as we speak. Well it isn't too much in overdraft, but hell I had to pay my bills. I have even went off have the cable modem. (now that sucks) I had to resort to the free trial of AOL until my fiances get a little better.

I know that I will make it through I have made it through so many times. I have went as far as looking for another job or a part time job. I worked 2 jobs before and I hated it with a passion. So I am looking for at least 3 days a week. I need the extra income coming it. I am the only one working in this house and it is putting a strain on me. My mother gets a retirement check but that is not much. I am basically taking care of her (because of her health).

We does this all leads me. I know pretty soon some more bills going to come up and I am not sure how I am going to pay them.. I hope a change is going to come. I hope it comes soon. Lord be with me..

My Thoughts of Today....My Habits

I have a serious smoking habit. I am not to proud of it. I do love it though. Over the last few days I had to do without.

My dental work has cause me to be sick to my stomach. Do you know how I feel right now? I think many of you feel the same way some of my other friends feel. "You don't need to smoke it is bad for your health."
I tell you that is the saying that I hate the most.
Yes smoking can be bad for your health. It can also cause you to lost money too.
Yes I spend about 50 dollars a week for my habit.

I don't even care how much it cost. I love this habit. It relaxes me when I am at work or at home. I love when the smoke fills my lungs and I get to exhale the smoke. I get this feeling that is so calming.

Yes I might die of heart failure, or something of that nature. There isn't anything in this world that is really healthy for you any way. I mean in the foods you have a chance of dying from eating. You can go out and get hit by a car, bus, or train.

My biggest thing I have a problem with is the fact of these smoking bans. You can go to a bar get drunk and drive home. You just better not light up a cigg cause you will get fined. So I am killing the next person because I am smoking next to them. Yet a person who goes out to drink is may or may not take a person life.

I just don't understand....

Mahoganydymond.net

I couldn't go without my site too long.. I needed my baby back.. So I will be back to blogging over there. I will be doing my thoughts of the day here...

The Candles are all blown out...

It's the day after my Birthday. It wasn't like the usual one that I normally have. No one making a big fuss. I didn't even get a cake this year. My #1 man didn't even call to wish me Happy Birthday. When we talked he still never said anything.

Well the day after I am not even mad. See in the past I would have argued, fussed, and even cried. This really does mean I am growing up..

My Birthday is also a day where my friends from way back call me. I might not talk to them a whole year, but they remember to call me on my birthday. So Quina and Zanya will always be my Birthday Cheerleaders. I do know I forget theirs all the time. Not!!!

The only thing that is bothering me is the fact I can not smoke. I got my Wisdom teeth pulled out. I got it done on Tuesday. I keep hearing about this dry socket. I am death scared of that, but I need a NEWPORT.

My face is swollen. My mouth hurts, and the Loritab's is making me sick. I am up at 3 o clock in the morning. I am hungry.... To curb my Newport craving I am just letting the cigs burn.. hehehee

I know I just need to relax. Hopefully by the end of this week or next, I will have Mahoganydymond.net back into full swing..

I just don't feel right...

I miss my baby.. I blogged here and I normally did my thoughts of the day.. I just miss my Mahoganydymond.net... We just have to cut the buck some where. I was spending unnecessary money. I love to blog and there are tons of blogging communities here. So although I love my own . net... I have to suck it up and let it go...

To be honest I don't want to blog right now..

I had my part 1 of oral surgery done yesterday.. I am so feenin' for a newport and some ribs...

It might just be me....

ItI see now that in the times and trials of my life. The only person that I need is myself. I used to think that it was a pleasure to have friends that care about you. Well in this dark moment, I have none but a few. You go all your life looking to people for comfort. When the time is at your darkest you may have slim to none.

I have been dealing with emotional pain for a very long time. I thought I was strong enough to deal with my issues. I felt like if I just put myself in a place of happy thoughts, I will make it through. O boy was I so wrong. I mean I am in good spirits and I feel that I have over came a lot.

I have been dealing with this tooth pain. Then with the headaches and then the top of stress I am going through. I feel like what can happen next. I don’t think I am ready to see what will happen next.

Last night showed me that I am truly getting older and I got to suck it up. My birthday is on Wednesday but I was celebrating it last night and tonight. I know after I get a few of my teeth cut out I will not be able to enjoy my birthday. My friends knew about it, I told them what time to be there.

A friend of my from North Carolina came down and it was just me and her. A few said they didn’t have the money to come. I had a few that didn’t have no gas in there car, and I had a few that said they would show up later on, I had a few that didn’t want to come because of the other events going on. I also had a few that just didn’t respond all together.

I sucked it up and took it like a Champ. I didn’t worry about them not showing up. Everyone have their reasons and frankly I don’t care about them. Then they wonder why I don’t like talking to them as much as I used to. I no longer have the time to try and keep up with those chickas.

I will not be going to Atlanta this weekend now. My mouth hurts so bad and I know after getting the Wisdom teeth cut out, it is going to be worst. So now I am looking forward to my other trips by the end of the year. I was trying to go back to Atlanta. I also was going to plan a Christmas trip to Alabama, but I can’t get a hold of my Alabama people. So I am going to try to go to Florida. My friend Dee said she will hook me up on a few hotels I might want to stay in.

So I guess we will see how everything turn out in the long run.. I am going to be here and be me. You have to love it or leave it.. I am seeing a lot of people who are leaving it.. Suit yourself.. Be happy… Be blessed…

Me, Myself, and I

I got this from Black Southern Gal

I am not: stupid..
I hear: My friends hawking..
I regret: nothing…

I care: too much about other people….
I always: pray….
I long to: be in a happier place….

I feel alone: most of the time…
I hide: my feeling most of the time…
I drive: my family nuts…

I sing: just to be happy…
I dance: because I love to dance…
I write: all the time…
I breathe: because I am alive…
I play: music to be inspired..

I miss: some of my old family and friends…
I search: for happiness and hope…
I say: what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger..
I feel: lost…

I succeed(ed): by being the person that I am..

I fail(ed): at a few things but it is not making me a failure…
I dream: To be happy, rich, and married…
I sleep: wild in bed…
I wonder: is my life going to get better…
I want: my own house…
I worry: about the state of our economy…
I have: too many things on my mind
I give: my love to those who love me…
I fight: because I am a fighter…
I am: bi-polar…
I can’t: come to grips on certain things in my life…
I stay: at home a lot…
I will: learn not to be so emotional…
I can: be a butt-hole…
I would: like to move back to Charlotte…
I might: need to runaway…
I like: food…
I love: my family…
I smile: because I have too…
I frown: when I don’t want to do something…
I read: all the dern time…
I work: because I need money…

My Thought of Today... A Woman Should Have..

A Woman Should Have.... by Maya Angelou



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough
money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
something
perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...


A WOMAN SHOULD
HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy
enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her
old age....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who
always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a good piece
of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight
matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for
a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of
control over her destiny..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD...
KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit
a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without;
ruining the friendship...


EVERY WOMAN
SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK
AWAY...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her
childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she
would and wouldn't do for love or more...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live
alone... even if she doesn't like it...


EVERY
WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to
go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a
charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs
soothing...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a
month...and a year...

(picture by:Garnett Thompkins)

My thought of Today... Faith

My Faith has taught me that God will not put anything on you that you can not bare. Also that if you give it to God he will solve all your problems. As I sit back and been doing a lot of my thinking. This is true, God will make a way for you.

I am by no means a Religious person. Although I am a spiritual person my faith lies on God and Jesus Christ. I have a relationship with him and I feel that at times I do not thank him as much as I should.

He has helped me through it all. I mean through every storm to ever trial. God has helped me see the clearer side of things. He sent people to me that needed to be there at that time. I call those people my Angels.

It was a time when I thought life sucked. I thought nothing that I do was right. I wondered what was my purpose for even being here on earth. I wanted to give up. I wanted to truly end my life. Then one day I was here on the internet and was talking to a friend on here. She called me and laid it to me. She even gave me hope for the future. To this day I still call this woman my Angel.

I am at another dark moment in my life right now. It is not so good. It is stress, money and bills. I also have a short line of dental surgery that I have to have done. Then I have people that I was close to that is not even that close.

So at this point in my life and the fact that I am getting older. I want to build a stronger relationship with God. I have been there, done that, and it is coming around again. So I feel in my heart that if God got me through it before.. I know he is going to get me through it again. All I have to do is have Faith..

Thoughts of the Day... Lazy Co-Workers..

I tried to always be fair and reasonable. I think some of the people I work with is going to make me get ETHNIC. I have been sick for the last few weeks. This is because I am in serious pain and also dealing with life issues. I still show up to work, work my shift, and do it without complaining about the whole thing. I know I need the money and my bills are about extremely past due.

We have this woman at work, I call her Naomi from Momma's Family. I serious she looks just like her and could past for her in a remake. I work for a supermarket so hey that is what Naomi did too. Well Naomi goes home early all the time. If she has one little pain she is out the door. So it leaves me, the Bookkeeper to do her job. It happens about once every week. I don't complain, because the more work I do faster the day goes by.

Today I was suppose to help out up front later on. Well it became until the end of my shift. I was just too busy helping the scan coordinator do her job. It is Wednesday and the prices change today.

You outta saw those dirty looks Naomi was giving me. Naomi even said she should have called out today, if she knew she would be working by herself. We were not busy today, heck who can afford to eat anymore. I gave her a break I was at least that nice.

It was nearing the end of her shift, this heffa leaves 30 minutes early. She walks out the door madder than hell. So I was like get a freaking life. We can not always have our way. So you have some people in this world that wants everything to go their way. They don't want to work but they want the pay. Then never understand why they never have money.
Hell I work my hours but I still don't ever have no money. I am the only one working in the house of two (sometimes 3).

I just don't care for emotional, lazy, whinnying, and attitudes when I am at work. They should be happy just to have a job for peaks sakes.

My Thoughts of Today... South Carolina and Domestic Violence

I have been on this side of the fence once. It took everything I had in me to leave. To a degree a lot of the pain still hasn't left me. At times I still feel like there is no hope for me. I still looking over my shoulder wondering if he would ever pop up again. I have been Mentally, Physical, Emotionally, and Verbal abused by two men in my lifetime.

I was reading the paper yesterday and saw that South Carolina still ranks high in Domestic Violence. The rank was high for women that were killed by men that they know. Black women are killed more than the white women in the State by their partners or men that they know. I think tears were about to fall from my eyes reading that.

"South Carolina ranks at the top of the nation in domestic violence and sixth in the number of women killed by men in domestic homicides, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence."

" South Carolina at 2 with a rate of 2.84 per 100,000"

What is this saying about our State? I also looked into some other things that might have contributed to this.

"4th in unemployment. With a 6.6 percent unemployment rate, only Alaska, Mississippi and Louisiana have more jobless people than South Carolina does."

"2nd in violent crime rate"

"7th in child poverty. The state tied with Texas and Alabama in having a larger percentage of children in poverty (23 percent) than most states. (Kids Count.)"




I not sure if all of this is accurate. I do know I got this from a 2006 and 2007 report. After I had read what was in the newspaper. I think something has to be done. I mean really how many women must die in the hands of men they know...

My Thoughts of Today....The Debates....

These Debates are starting to bore the hell out of me. I am so serious. Last night I was getting really tired of hearing Palin talk. I didn't think she covered the things we wanted to hear. Also her ending sounded very much like it was rehearsed. I was like most of the people I chatted with, I got tired of hearing MAVERICK... I am glad that Bidden busted her butt about that.

I know that I am a Democrat I am a very proud Liberal. So I can be a little bias when I was trying to pay attention to Palin. Her voice irrks the hell out of me. I don't know how it feels to live life like she was describing. Don't get me wrong, she is a good talker. I know she reached a lot of those Mothers in the Suburbs...

Bidden stuck his guns, but he was a little to nice for me. I am used to hearing him hold firm to what he belives. I also wanted this debate to be about them as VP'S they kept going on about Obama and McCain. I think from my stand point Bidden won the debate... I guess to others Palin did. So all in all it was a tie..


Just last Friday Obama won hands down. He kept the straight face, he said what was needed to be said. I am proud of him. Me and my family were also drinking for change.. It was a little game that I saw a lot of people were doing for this first debate. It was every time we heard the word change.. We would take a Tequila shot. Lucky for us they only said it 8 times. LOL

I think a lot of Politicians just lie to get into office. We don't really see the things that they are trying to do for America. I do know that I feel in my heart, Obama is the best canidate.
So I don't care about these dern Debates, they are just to boring for me...

Thoughts of Today... Secrets...

We all have them. You know those things that only you or another person knows. The things that you keep under lock and key. We sure have a fair share of skeletons in our closets too.

I for one hold many secrets under my belt. There are things I have done that I am not proud of and I keep those things to myself. There are things my friends have done or told me that they know I will keep to myself.

Although I am on the net and I pretty much tell most of my life on here. There are things that not even my closes internet friends, family or associates will never know about me.

It is not being about fear of what they think of me. It is pretty much a secret because it isn't any of their business. My friends have told me things that I vowed never to tell. I did just that. I never told one soul about those things.

My biggest problem is the secrets that I have told and it got back to me that they were told. I tell you that is the biggest betrayal ever. I don't understand how someone could break the trust like that. That is when you start to look deep into that friendship and wonder is it worth having.

If you don't have trust you don't have nothing. So what do we do when there are things you got to spill out yet you don't want certain people to know about these things. I have gotten to the point where I just write private blogs. It helps me say what I need to say but others can not view. I do know that some how someone will figure it out.

Then you have those people who their life is one big old secret... How do you figure those types of people out?