It might just be me....

ItI see now that in the times and trials of my life. The only person that I need is myself. I used to think that it was a pleasure to have friends that care about you. Well in this dark moment, I have none but a few. You go all your life looking to people for comfort. When the time is at your darkest you may have slim to none.

I have been dealing with emotional pain for a very long time. I thought I was strong enough to deal with my issues. I felt like if I just put myself in a place of happy thoughts, I will make it through. O boy was I so wrong. I mean I am in good spirits and I feel that I have over came a lot.

I have been dealing with this tooth pain. Then with the headaches and then the top of stress I am going through. I feel like what can happen next. I don’t think I am ready to see what will happen next.

Last night showed me that I am truly getting older and I got to suck it up. My birthday is on Wednesday but I was celebrating it last night and tonight. I know after I get a few of my teeth cut out I will not be able to enjoy my birthday. My friends knew about it, I told them what time to be there.

A friend of my from North Carolina came down and it was just me and her. A few said they didn’t have the money to come. I had a few that didn’t have no gas in there car, and I had a few that said they would show up later on, I had a few that didn’t want to come because of the other events going on. I also had a few that just didn’t respond all together.

I sucked it up and took it like a Champ. I didn’t worry about them not showing up. Everyone have their reasons and frankly I don’t care about them. Then they wonder why I don’t like talking to them as much as I used to. I no longer have the time to try and keep up with those chickas.

I will not be going to Atlanta this weekend now. My mouth hurts so bad and I know after getting the Wisdom teeth cut out, it is going to be worst. So now I am looking forward to my other trips by the end of the year. I was trying to go back to Atlanta. I also was going to plan a Christmas trip to Alabama, but I can’t get a hold of my Alabama people. So I am going to try to go to Florida. My friend Dee said she will hook me up on a few hotels I might want to stay in.

So I guess we will see how everything turn out in the long run.. I am going to be here and be me. You have to love it or leave it.. I am seeing a lot of people who are leaving it.. Suit yourself.. Be happy… Be blessed…