I sometimes feel like I am losing it...

Everyday is a battle with getting my mom up and dressed...
So I have been just letting her do what she wants... If she want mixed matched shoes... If she doesn't want to take a shower... I just let her be.. Unless we have to go to a doctors appointment.. Then I just argue with her until she does it..  Why is it that older folks get to the point of not caring about hygiene?  My grandmother did the same thing...

So I am on this make sure she takes her medicine and you feed her well... Anything else just go by day to see what mood she might be in..  Since I have been doing that my blood pressure has went down some.. I am not on 3 types of medication for it.. I can no longer drink so the glass of wine or a shot of tequila doesn't can calm me down anymore..

So I am choosing my battles with this woman.. In the process I am starting to put my #JetLeeChronicals into play.. To help those who are their parents caregiver to show it is ok to laugh when you really feel like crying... My mom is hilarious and there are things she does daily that will make anyone smile..

In a different place in life..

I have moved.. A house that I lived in for all my life beside a few times I left and came back...
A house that my mom was in since 1963...

The last few years I was getting frustrated with the house that we were in. The neighborhood sucked as well.. It wasn't what it once was. I remember my childhood being such a peaceful loving place.

This past Tuesday was my first day in my new home and I can say.. I love it.. It is what I needed right now in my life.

At first I didn't know if my mom would be able to adjust to the move but she did... So far she is doing a little better with her memory and stuff.. I am glad plus she is sleeping so much better... Plus I have noticed her attachment to me. She follows me in every room... She also has noted that I sleep in the bed with her and watch tv... lol I love my moms and I know right now we have been in a struggle to stay a float but I wouldn't change anything.

I quit working to make sure my mom be in her best care. I am happy to do such..

As the month goes along I will be sure to update everyone..

I just love my Mother and the things she taught me....

The other night me and my mother were talking..  We were talking about relationship, life, and things that makes us happy.
I don't really get deep with my mother much. It is because I am not really big on affection.  I didn't want to see her cry or give me a hug.. Go figure... I guess cause that wasn't us back when I was growing up. The only time I did get hugs and kisses from her was when she was drunk.. The times I did great in school or some special event. The everyday to day thing wasn't us. I wasn't mad about it either.. I have a fear of hugging in the first place.

I started telling her how much I learned from her and how much I am thankful for it.  See in my growing up and after her and my father broke up their engagement. I only saw my mother with two other men. Plus those men were very LONG relationships. She didn't believe in bring men after men into my life.  She was with Muff for 16 years or so.. I think he died when I was 17 or 18...  Then with Larry (a stone cold nut) They were together for about 10 or 11 years. Those two men was GOOD to her.. I mean did anything for her. They made sure she was happy at all times.  See MOMMA don't take no mess. My mother felt like, If a man can't give her what she needs and wants.. Then that man don't need to be apart of her life.  My mother feels like you can do bad by yourself. She never felt she needed a man to complete her life.  She also feel like she don't need the games, the lies, and the yeast infections.. Yea that is what she tells me all the time.

So I told her it is because of her that I learned that I deserve better in life. Although I have met PLENTY of sheep's in wolves clothing. I knew when enough was a enough and moved on. I don't need to keep up a man.. I don't need to be disrespected.
As I watch some people do things that I don't feel they need to.. I throw up a concern.. I have watched friend's and love ones go through hell in relationships. They stay cause they don't want to be alone. They even do it just because they have good sex.. I just don't get it..  It took me sometime to realize what I wanted and deserved in a relationship. So I was so HAPPY when I found out.

Yea me and Heaven are friends. There is no  serious relationship between us. I am glad.. I think with him is what I seek now.. I am not ready for a relationship.. I'm getting myself together. I keep Heaven around for the male companionship.

So I thankful for the lessons my mother taught me. She taught me how to be a strong, independent woman. She also taught me that I deserve someone to love, respect, and cherish me. She says.. Never settle less.. Always go for what will keep you interested.. Fall for someone who give you their heart... God will send a man to you..  A man who will give his all to love you unconditionally.. Thanks Mom.. I love you...

My thought of Today...Happy Birthday Mother...

Today is my mother’s 61st birthday. I tell you she is my girl. My mother has always been this different type of mom. She has always talked to me about things in life. She has never been afraid to give me the good, bad, and ugly. I think that is why I always had so much respect for her.

In my earlier teens I felt that my mother wasn’t always there when I wanted her. It was until my grandmother took deathly ill I came to realize something. My mother took care of my grandmother almost her whole adult life. So after my mother and father broke up. She just wanted to start a new life and find happiness. It just so happened during my teenage years. I am glad that she did find it. I think I was just a selfish little girl. I was so used to being spoiled. Yes my mother spoiled me and still does.

I think she raised me well. I thank her for everything she has done for me.I can say when I had broken heart, to the best days of my life, My mother has been there.

Happy Birthday Mother… I love you.