In My thoughts: When I think Racism will end..

I been thinking of this for awhile but I really didn't want to say anything about it. Well after watch a video on Facebook today, it got me thinking. It was a video on how Black Women act differently over seas with white men.. You know how black men think we are aggressive and non submissive.. My opinion, we act according to how we are treated.. If you talk mess to me, I'm gonna talk mess to you.. If you are good to me I am good to you..

Back to my post..

The way some Black men lust and swoon over white women or bi-racial women, and how NOW some white men are finally being honest with liking black women.. Also with Black men hooking up with other races... It the future let's say 2047 there will be no true race.. So this will cut out a lot of racism, It will hardly been any pure race. I am starting to see it now.. Especially in my little ole town of Easley, it's mixed kids popping up everywhere. So maybe, even though this town everyone is mostly undercover racists. This might just bring a closer relationship with each other..

Although I choose not to date outside my race because I have no desire too.. I also don't find what I would have in common with someone of another race unless they are Asian or Latin and that is food that we would have in common.. LOL

I am ready for all this to end. I want us all to get along or be able to have a great dialogue on why we have a hard time to communicating and understanding one another. The headlines the other week was they Love our Culture but doesn't Love us.. It is pretty accurate in my eyes. They are now getting butts, big lips, doing the whip, and the shanae-nae..  My only issue with all of that, is don't try to be hood if you never grew up in the hood. See it is so easy to pretend and never had to live it..

I just hope my theory will come true.. I give it another 50 years.. Since we are the only country that define people by race instead of the country we live in.. We will see, God Willing..

In My Thoughts: Social Unrest

We still having so many Black Men UNARMED being killed or shot at by Police or wanna be Cops.. It is like every time you turn on the News  there has been another person being killed by the Cops.. We never know when someone we Love will be murdered just by the act of  Racial Profiling.

There are so many families out here hurting because they lost someone in their lives through such.

Then you watch the News and see how some say that us as Black America bring it on ourselves. We have so much Black on Black crime in our community.. I heard somewhere a long time ago and I am not sure as to where.. "If you treat them like a savage beast, they will act as such".. How are these Young men suppose to feel? I have said before a lot of it does come from the environment in which they were raised, BUT the way some of the Cops patrol the neighborhoods, looking for trouble. I see how they act here and I live in a small town in South Carolina.. They call where all of us live Across the Tracks... They drive slow and stare at you like you done or about to do something.. The Ironic thing though, A lot of white people have moved over here now, CAUSE MORE HAVOC and you don't see the Cops riding by anymore.. They are over here a lot because either Me or a Neighbor is calling on them.. 

I want Fergerson to heal.. It is in my mind a Modern Day Rosewood. The town is never going to be the same and as of Last night 2 Cops were shot. So they are looking for the suspects (i betcha they will serve time for what they done). The city is in Ruins. I pray for them but I also see that a lot of the Black if they could will move out the city. Especially when you see that even the Police Department had so many Racist Emails and so forth. 

Like the song Michael Jackson had "They really don't care about us".. More and more I am starting to think this is to be true. Do they Hate us that much they want to get rid of us all. I pray that one day this world will all be called HUMANS that live in America. No more color categorizing. If we go back to the Early times of America, remember we were BROUGHT here against our will.. 

Then the Oklahoma University SAE Chant that has been bombarded the media as of late.  WOW! Is all I can say.. I wasn't upset about the Chorus more than I had been with the words in the lyrics.. The hanging from the tree... It made my blood boil.. Now the one leading the Chant apologized, but it really doesn't matter. They were saying that it was taught to them.. Ok if you know they words are hurtful and offensive, Why repeat it?

I believe we are in the days when there will never been Justice, Respect, Honor, and Love in this Country.. I will the word Hate never existed. 

I think I just need to be in my own little world.. I wish I had the ability to change the world.. 

Since some of the air has cleared... The Death of Mike Brown!

August 9th... The shots heard around the world..

Mike Brown lost his life by shots from a Police Officer... 

This has not been the 1st in America and I believe it will not be the last..

Police fear Black People especially the BLACK MALE.

The the media went frenzy, hate and bigotry showed it ugly head once again.. This time it was worst than the Trayvon case.. I think that was because Black America is starting to have enough of this.. This is no longer the early 1900's.. This become the new norm.. It shouldn't be this way.. When Mike Brown was killed, this was the 3 Black Male to be killed by the hands of the Police within the month. It made me think it was Kill a Nigger Season.. 

The topic of we kill each other so other see that we don't even care about ourselves.. I thought that was a bunch of crock.. This Black on Black killing is truly wrong.. I think that, yes something should be done about it.. Most of the time it is the product of the environment. Most of these black on black killings are in gangs, drug dealing, low income, and broken home areas.. America was built by US.. So we should have more self respect and pride in our race.. It was THEM teaching us the self hate and brainwashing us to believe we will never be good enough.. 

I do want to see a change in this COUNTRY... I want us to be able to not judge a book by the outside. All of us aren't thugs or trouble makers.. A few bad apples don't spoil the bunch.  I still don't know why more evidence hasn't came out.. It is almost a month now... A man can get killed on the side of the road and they will know whom,what, where, and the time it happened.. SO WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG? 

I believe we should come together demand respect stand on 1 accord... 

We need God and the love of Jesus!! We need healing.. During the Civil Right movement... The people praised the Lord and everyone came together for the unjust... 

The Old South Strikes again... The Paula Deen Edition

Everyone that knows me KNOWS that this woman was my Idol..  I am a COOK and not a Chef... I love the Southern Comfort/ Soul Food.. Well Mrs. Deen has rocked my world a little.. Mrs Collard Greens have showed her ugly side... 

When finding out about what she said.. To this day.. Her using the NIGGER word didn't bother me at all.. I looked at it this way. SHE GREW UP IN THE SOUTH WHEN NIGGER WAS A COMMON WORD TO DESCRIBE BLACKS! 

I saw that the transcript stated that she said the LiL Niggers dressed up in BOW Tie and white coats dancing around at a Plantation Wedding.. That bothered me.. I have this strong hate for the Chicken George/ Mr. Bojangles stereotype.. Blacks dancing around for the entertainment for Whites.. Doing all kinds of funny stuff to amuse Whites.. Then on the Today show she said she only said it once when she was a Bank Teller..

Well I don't see that she said it once.. I know if she said it once, she has said it before..

The craziest stuff is those who defends Paula Deen and their comments and their sense of justification. .

They are saying why is is Racist when White says it and Blacks say it all the time.. Even saying stuff about having BET and Miss Black America.... I was waiting on them to start BLAMING Obama.. I mean the hatred has gotten way out of hand.. You are starting to know how people really feel.. 

It's even hard to try to explain to people why this is such a BIG DEAL... It was the context in which Paula Deen said it.. Even in a joking manner it has a racist feel.. So it has been interesting.. I still feel like some more of this is going to come out sooner or later...  

I think that most of the companies are dropping Paula Deen in fear of loosing customers in the long run.. The people who are breaking Paula's life is not the Blacks that she has called Nigger in the past, but the People who is just the same color as she.. So Paula, is eating her own words.. She is not seeing how it feels to be Black in a America... She is being SHUNNED and a Outcast... 

I think she will bounce back, in due time anyway.. 

You have to becareeful of the words you speak.. You never know who you are hurting, and nine out of ten, it's hurting you by kicking you in the arse...

All we need is Love..

Watching the recent events on the news... Where is all this lack of love and respect coming from? When is it ever ok to hurt a child? When is it ever ok to bully someone? When is it being different such a bad thing? My heart bleeds cries with all this. I just don't understand...

I hate for anyone to lose a life just because of their race, sexuality, economical issues. I believe that love wins in the end.. I just wish more people learn how to love.. I wish that more people spread it.. If we all respected and love one another, I believe that none of this would even been happening...

I hate that someone can not live the way they want to. So what if someone is Gay or Bisexual. They aren't hurting anyone. They are living their lives. I hate that some of the young teens are feeling like they have no one to talk to.. I hate that some  have resorted to killing themselves. All because the choose to love someone of the same sex. It doesn't make them bad people.

A person life is the most precious thing. How a person chose to live their life is up to them. I look back on what all has happened. I think about when Tim was growing up. I knew that he was going to be homosexual growing up. I would see how people would pick on him. It even resorted him to quiting High School.. It was so many people just constantly giving him hell. Me being the Big Cousin, they learned how to respect him.  If one person said something about him, I defended him. I just hate that he cried so many night because of people not accepting the person he was.. He was a very smart, loving, and caring person. I didn't even see why people gave him such a hard time.

 People are so cruel and vicious. I can't wait until the day when we can live in a world that everyone is accepted. I can wait for the day when the people who causes people the feel left out get their day...

Receive Love, Accept Love, Give love....

Wondering what's going on....

Yall just don't even know the things that are running through my head right now. I am at a stand still with my thoughts. I try to think back to the particular day and I can't get a grip on it.

It was about 14 years ago and 3 miscarriages later. That I had 2 doctors tell me I can not have children. If  I do have kids, my body will not let me carry a child to full term. Well that has haunted me for years. I always thought I will not be able to have kids what so ever.

The when I was with MC we used protection for the first few years. I even got on the shot to make sure I wouldn't be able to even get pregnant. I don't trust doctors all that well and maybe they needed so type of excuse to just why I kept loosing children.

Well right now. I feel like living crap. SERIOUSLY.. I don't know why I am late. I am thinking that it is stress. Although being broke right now is killing me. I am not stressed over it.  I am also thinking, maybe I am going through the change of life. My mother went through it in her early 30's. In October I will be turning 35.. So I don't think that I need to be going through anything like this right now.

I am LATE.. I am going on a MONTH LATE. I been so tired. I have been so constipated. I even feel bloated.. I don't normally feel this bad when my period is getting ready to start. I just cramp. Well man, I hate this feeling of not knowing. I said I would buy a test if it doesn't come on within this week.  Me and my best friend always have our cycle down pat.. Mine always come on a week before hers. So when hers come on mines is going off.. Well hers has already went off and I still don't see blood...

My crush would be devastated if this happens. I will feel bad for him. It is just because we did use protection. We did see the mishap..  He knows about what I was told from those doctors. He does know that there is a chance of pregnancy it was just a 65 percent ratio.  It just not the time to have a baby with him or anyone else. He is just now getting back on his feet. I tell you hot passion will get you in trouble everytime.. LOL
 
For years my titled uterus and my suffering with endometriosis was the culprit. So if this is possible, I don't know what I am going to do. I am not upset.. I will not cry.. I am just wondering.. Could I finally be Pregnant?


"Update"

I was just starting a new cycle... :)

My Thought of the Day.. Friends with Benefits...

My thought of the day has been on my minds for years. I can not quite get the point of some people. The conversation I had with a good friend from the past triggered me. It fired me up last night. So then this morning I went to ask a few more men about the subject.

I am talking about men and maybe some women who wants only sex and nothing more. Come on people, where is the respect in that. I am so FREAKING tired of that lifestyle. Who in the hell ever came up with it? It is on the same lines of this Independent Woman shyt. I don't like it what so ever.

In my early 20's, I went out with a few dudes. I kicked it with them and maybe one or two I screwed. It came a point where I had to put a stop to it. I wanted more and they was saying crap like it is better just the way it is. I was like huh? How is it better? Is it better because you can go out and screw whom ever you want and not have to answer to anyone else... Well to those who are willing to suck themselves on that and taking a chance of catching something, go right the hell on. My door will not be opened for you...

So back to a friend of mine, he was saying that he was wanting to find someone that he can screw from time to time. I told him to go out and find a girlfriend. He was like Hell Naw, I don't want that. So I was getting confused. Cause who is just going to screw a man and her not being his girlfriend? He said I want... A Friend with Benefits... I said, what woman wants to be in that type of relationship.. I told him go out and find a steady WHORE... He just better make sure he has more money in his pocket.. A dick aint just enough when it comes to that type of relationship. He said he can't handle the more that a woman wants. He don't want the drama that comes with a relationship. He likes his own space and freedom.. I think those type of men are COWARDS.. They don't know how to be a real man. He lacks how to treat women with respect. So whore hurt him in his past and he don't know how to get out of that rut..

So once I got up this morning I call the King of I don't want a relationship... I asked him what is it with men and not wanting to commit themselves to a woman. His big answer was, I am scared... I was like how in the hell a grown ass man can be scared? He said if his feelings get hurt he gonna cry or something. I asked him he don't want to get hurt but he is constantly hurting the females. He said he aint doing such, because he told the woman before hand he didn't want one.

I think men and women need to stop playing these games with one another. If you don't want a relationship, then don't pursue that person. If you just want sex go buy a crackhead or whore... I am so tired of the mixed signals. I am so tired of the saying, Friends with Benefits. I am a woman who wants and needs more. I want a friend, a lover, a companion, security, and commitment. I don't need a man on the side.. I don't need a booty call. I want a man to be mine and all mine.
So I say no... to this...

My Thoughts of Today... History & Future

Freedom is never given; it is won.
-- A. Philip Randolph
Oh how good it feels right now to be a Black living in America. This has been such a long time coming for us. I know there are going to be challenges and we are going to face some uncertainty. I do know we have finally saw some change since the days of old. I never thought in a million years that America would even let a man with few drops of black blood into the White House. This is just all to surreal to me at this point.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream. All we ever have is now. -- Bill Cosby



Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.
-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today we are celebrating Martin Luther King Jr, life and legacy. I think he is looking down on us and saying, Freedom at last. The long hard road that he had to travel to get us here. It took long enough, but it became a reality to us all last year. Don't get me wrong we are going to still have some injustices. I just know that now some are seeing us as People/Humans.

So our History brought us today.. I thank all those before me that paved the way to make our life just a tad bit better. The old saying goes, you never know where you are going until you know where you have been.. My theme of this year is progress.. We are definitely getting there...

My Thoughts of Today... Gay Marriages...

I am not getting it. I was watching the news and California is now banning same sex marriages. I was thinking that Cali was the state that homosexuals was free to roam.

I tell you I don't think it is right to tell someone they can not marry one another. Heck I have heard cases where a father married his daughter and he got to do so.

How can a person tell me I can not marry who I want? If I happen to fall in love with a woman. I feel that I can not live my life without her. The government will tell me I can not put a ring on her finger.

A lot of people say it is not morally right to do such a thing. A marriage should be between woman and man. Well in some people eyes it might be wrong. I also know people who are church goers say it is not right in God's eyes. Well I say God is a forgiven God. He died for our sins. God always know your heart, he knows everything. So when that time comes and you ask the Lord to forgive you . You turn and give your life to God. I don't believe you are going to hell for love. God is love..

I have family members that are gay. I have for a very long time straddle the fence myself. So I don't think no one should tell me that I am not able to join someone that I love. I think that is why I feel I will never get married. I think it is just a piece of paper that tells the government you are together. Why give them all your business?

So I feel like it is wrong for them to give them that right and then take it away. I pray to my sisters and brothers in the LGBT community. Maybe one day you will get your wish...

My Thought of Today...Phonies...

I had to deal with the most stupidest crap today. The people that speak to me everyday and laugh with me. Did not say one word to me today.

This was the day after Obama won President elect. The people on my job did not speak to me. They had no words for me what so ever. They all knew I was part of the Obama campaign. They knew I know that his character was the better choice for America. America is now be in better hands for all Americans.

It goes to show me no matter how much they say they are not racist. They showed their true colors today. When you say stuff that you don't want me to hear and avoid me. It tells me you are just as bad as the people who would call me a nigger.

What make is so bad, is that it was them that put Obama in office. If things were better for America, Obama wouldn't never ran for President. People black and white, and other races, wanted a change.

I can't stand phony people.. Lord bless those who don't know what in the heck is going on.

My Thoughts of Today... Weight Loss

I've been on this diet since June 30th of this year. I have lost a total of 41lbs. I have been slacking off just a tad. See last week was a busy week for me. I had 3 birthday parties and 1 of them were out of town. So I was only able to work out 1 day last week. We are now on Tuesday and I still haven't been able to work out.

I normally workout once I get off work that is around 5pm or 6pm. Well today I had every intention on working out. Then I had company and I didn't want to be rude with them. Then I had to cook dinner and so forth. So I put it off again.

I am very afraid that I have gained some weight back. I know it wouldn't be that much, but the idea that I haven't worked out. I also did a little over eating the past weekend. While I was in Charlotte North Carolina with family. We all celebrate with food and good food to be exact.

So this is what has been heavy on my mind the last few days. I have came so far with so much will power. Now I am starting to see I am giving up a little hope. My goal was to be 144lbs before my birthday. My birthday on October 15th.. I am weighting in @ 195. So I know those 50lb is not going to come off in 3 weeks. So I am a little depressed...

My thought of Today...Headaches

As I sit here thinking about all the problems that is wrong with the world today. I get a major headache. I am a lover of the news but it is starting to work every living nerve in my body.

It starts here in my state of South Carolina. I know there is crime every where we go. It just this particular town that is near by I am getting tired of hearing about. You sit and wonder these kids have got to find something else better to do. It has been string of robberies in the last few months. It seems that they are all done by young black men. I bow my head in shame. I want so much for our youth. I want them to understand that crime does not pay without a price. You robbing, killing, and beating others for just a few dollars. Think of what comes with that. You will never get away totally. Prisons is not the place for our kids. Our kids belong in a University or a local College. When will they learn that education is the key.

Then the race that is about race. So what if Obama might be the next president. Don't judge what this man can and can not do because of his race. He is a well educated Black Man that wants to make a difference. Please give him a chance. He has proved to me and other people that he is willing to go the extra mile for his country. Do we really want another 4 years these Republicans who can't see there is something wrong with our country. They are so much consumed of what goes on in these other countries. Leaving us with, no jobs, failing economy, children with no proper homes, and high taxes. I think if someone wants to live their life paycheck to paycheck with little or no hope. That is them, I know I don't want to be one of those people. All boils down is that they do not want a Black Man in office.. How sad...

We are living in tough times right now. We all got to watch our backs and keep faith in the Lord. Oneday we will live in peace...

My thoughts of Today.. The Welfare System

Those who know me know that I am very passionate about this. I am one of the many Americans that live paycheck to paycheck. I might have about 20 dollars left to my name afterwards. I am just fed up with the many people who abused the system. I know there are many people out there that has no choice in the matter.

I want to first start off with those who are in the country illegally. I know that some come here for a better life. Don't get me wrong, I would do the same thing. I just will work harder to get the things I want. (That is what I am trying to do now). I know many of them live in a 4 to 6 families to a house. I know cause I have a lot of them as neighbors. I work for a supermarket so I see a lot of them come in with EBT and WICS. They already getting free health care and do not have to pay taxes. This is what I am mad about. How come I am the one working my ass off, having to pay taxes every week when I get my check. I am over 25 single with no children, that is almost 150 dollars of taxes taken out my check a week. So I feel if they are going to live here, PAY DAMN TAXES... Then when it comes to healthcare, I pay about 50 dollars a week because of my insurance. Someone got to tell me what is up with that. I might go to the doctor about 3 times a year. After paying my co pay I am still spending about 50 to 100 dollars for the visit.

I also get fed up with the whole EBT system. I have wrote about this on my website many of times. I have also stated my dislike for it on my and MrChap's blogtalk show. I have applied many times to get the EBT card. I done it because I am helping my mother with her medication (too much dern money, no Medicine should cost 100 dollars). So I said having an EBT card will help out with the food bill. Well they only offered me 10 dollars the first time. The next time it was 25 woop de fu do...

I have seen people in there buy nothing but JUNK food on that card and still had about 600 dollars left on a card. They might come in and spend 300 dollars full of junk and have about 900 dollars left on a card. Heck I don't get to eat Shrimp, Crablegs, and Ribeye Steak. I am the one paying for all of that though. It is freakin ridiculous. Then they turn around and get into a nice SUV or Car. I can't even afford to buy a car at this point.

So what is wrong with this system.. A lot is wrong if you ask me. Someone can get a disabilty check if they can't manage money. They can get one if they are Bi polar, pees on themselves or over 300 to 400 lbs. I can't believe we live in a world that people just can lie, cheat, and steal from hard working people and get away with it.

I wonder will this woman ever get her Justice...

6 Arrested in Week long Attack on Woman

6 in W.Va. Charged With Beating, Sexually Assaulting Woman Held Captive in House for a Week.

Now I tell you this, I had to post my opinion over here about this subject.
I got this article link from two of my favorite bloggers on 360*.
I am real cautious about what I type there, cause I have known to be deleted.

Well as we mourn for those in the war and what happened on 9-11-2001.
We still have hatred living among us.
Let me give you a little hight lights on this story.

*The names of the people pictured above*
(From top left, Bobby Brewster, Karen Burton, George Messer, Danny Combs, Frankie Brewster, and Alisha Burton.)

ABC NEWS Online

A woman was sexually abused, beaten and humiliated while being held captive in a home for at least a week.
Those arrested, including a mother and son and a mother and daughter, are white. The victim, a Charleston woman who was being treated at a hospital Monday, is black. The FBI plans to investigate it as a possible hate crime.

This young woman was stabbed, rapped and tortured.
I am still asking myself, will she get her justice.
She we are already going through the racist acts of Jena 6.
Now here come this story which does touch me dearly.

The reason why this story touches me is because what happen to one of my family members. I wasn't born when this happened but have been reminded of it a time or two.

Well she was raped by 6 white men.
I am not going to go all in detail, cause it hurts me.
A child was conceived, which none of them will claim they had a part in.
She ended up suffering for the rest of her life.

The lies that were told and the issue was swept under the rug.
A few of her kids had to feel the effect of this also. Her daughter which is one of those men's child, has suffered mental illness.

Again I say, I hope that young 23 yr old woman, get her justice.

* It makes me think about what else is gonna happen with the number 6*

Why are we still dealing with stuff like this in the years of 2000.