Wondering what's going on....

Yall just don't even know the things that are running through my head right now. I am at a stand still with my thoughts. I try to think back to the particular day and I can't get a grip on it.

It was about 14 years ago and 3 miscarriages later. That I had 2 doctors tell me I can not have children. If  I do have kids, my body will not let me carry a child to full term. Well that has haunted me for years. I always thought I will not be able to have kids what so ever.

The when I was with MC we used protection for the first few years. I even got on the shot to make sure I wouldn't be able to even get pregnant. I don't trust doctors all that well and maybe they needed so type of excuse to just why I kept loosing children.

Well right now. I feel like living crap. SERIOUSLY.. I don't know why I am late. I am thinking that it is stress. Although being broke right now is killing me. I am not stressed over it.  I am also thinking, maybe I am going through the change of life. My mother went through it in her early 30's. In October I will be turning 35.. So I don't think that I need to be going through anything like this right now.

I am LATE.. I am going on a MONTH LATE. I been so tired. I have been so constipated. I even feel bloated.. I don't normally feel this bad when my period is getting ready to start. I just cramp. Well man, I hate this feeling of not knowing. I said I would buy a test if it doesn't come on within this week.  Me and my best friend always have our cycle down pat.. Mine always come on a week before hers. So when hers come on mines is going off.. Well hers has already went off and I still don't see blood...

My crush would be devastated if this happens. I will feel bad for him. It is just because we did use protection. We did see the mishap..  He knows about what I was told from those doctors. He does know that there is a chance of pregnancy it was just a 65 percent ratio.  It just not the time to have a baby with him or anyone else. He is just now getting back on his feet. I tell you hot passion will get you in trouble everytime.. LOL
 
For years my titled uterus and my suffering with endometriosis was the culprit. So if this is possible, I don't know what I am going to do. I am not upset.. I will not cry.. I am just wondering.. Could I finally be Pregnant?


"Update"

I was just starting a new cycle... :)