Seeking out while weeding out...

I have been actively seeking out a mate. I am tired of sitting home lonely and bored. I want to date. I said this before and it didn't end up the way I wanted it too.  I have also weeded out those who refuse to just let me go. I am starting to wonder, if I am so special and you care so much. Why is it that you left me the first time?
I have a few from my past relationships that are still trying to contact me. Most of the time they get ignored.

I don't mind being single. It is just getting to the point that I wonder is it something about me.. I think that I am a very good catch. I am pretty much a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. I am a terrific cook. I am very loving and understanding.  I work hard. I keep myself up. So what is the freaking problem?

I sit here and evaluate myself.  I truly don't see anything wrong at all. I asked some of the other people that knows me so well. They said, they don't see anything either. What is wrong with today's men? It seems that none of them are ready for relationships.. It is a few that are. The last two months I have saw a few friends and family get engaged or married. This Saturday I have a cousin that is getting married...

I can't just settle anymore. I have always done that. I never been one to just talk to someone because of them liking me. Although I have dated men that was borderline.  Meaning that men that I accepted their flaws. It was something about them that I was attracted to and liked. Then they turned out to be full of shyt. 

So now I am more on a looking for the right one. The person that will be all and more that I am looking for. I want an honest person. Someone is spiritually connected. The person who see the good and be thankful for it. Someone who sees the bad and is able to cope with it.  I want a person who knows what love means..

Everyone tells me my time will come. I will be 35 this year and I seriously see myself ending up like my mother. I am not saying that being my mother is bad. It is just she never gotten married. She is also to the point where she is set in her ways. She doesn't care if she gets married or has a boyfriend. She has gotten so used to being alone for so many years, to now she doesn't even want to be bother with it.


I am still trying to make sense of it all.. I am going to remain hopeful. Let's see where this is going to lead me...