It has come that all those who were once close to me. Is making me out to be the bad person... I know that since me and SOS started dating...I haven't had much time with my friends... I think the last time we all got together was for my Birthday... Even then tension was on it's brink.. Because of the arguing that night... I've been keeping my distance...
We'll since it has been months since I've last talk to them.. I am truly missing them.. SOS has a best friend so she doesn't see what I am going through.. Heck, her and the best friend are roommates... So she doesn't understand when I have my mood swings... I miss bonding with my girls.. Yet, for me it is so hard too... See as far as I go.. I am so different compared to my friends.. They always talk about their men... Have a few that brings their man around.. etc.. etc.. I on the other hand... I am now a Lesbian... SOS is not the type of person that wants to be around my friends... She says those are your friends... You go hang out with them... As I said it is hard.. It is always them, their men, and then me.. I am the solo in the bunch...
I am also dealing with living this life.. It is hard enough as it is for me.. SO FREAKING HARD... At times I don't think I am even cut out for this... SO their negative words and attitudes.. I try to stay away from.. So they think I just walked off and don't care about them.. So I've been seeing their statuses on facebook.. Yes, I know SOME were directed to me.. I AM NOT THE BAD PERSON HERE...
I happened to fall in love with someone who understands me (sometimes) and I enjoy every minute I have with her... It is just days like this though... They said good bye to her uncle yesterday.. So today she is at home resting and what not.. Im home BORED.. Having to much time on my hands.. Missing her and wanting to be with her.. Yet she is sleep.
So this makes me think of my friends.. How when I was feeling down.. I could pick up the phone and call.. Just to get a laugh in.. Well it is no more of that... I would have to call and say I am sorry... It will make me feel like I lowered my stance, if I did that. Cause I truly didn't do anything wrong.. They choose to be hostile and negative to me. I couldn't make SOS want to meet them... I couldn't make her come around when I hung with them..
So now I am feeling the void in my life... I miss them... I just don't want to admit to any guilty they may feel I did... They don't even pick up the phone to call me or better yet text... So I wonder do they miss me?
4 comments:
I'm notorious for losing contact with people I just send a text and say hello every once in a while. If your friends can't accept your new lifestyle choice that's on them, they should support the fact that you found someone who makes you happy. In my mind that's the important thing, sometimes folks don't mix and they should accept that.
I'm glad you and SOS have found something that makes the two of you feel good. Hopefully your friends come to respect that in the future
I experienced something very similar with someone. I refer to this poem regularly and accept things for what they are or may be...
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
Primaldata.. I don't even think I can send a text...
I needed to read that poem Icanonlybme..
I can strongly relate to what you are going through, simply because I have definitely been here. There was a period of time, after age 22 or so, when my intimate relationships were strictly with women. It was hard for some people to deal with the transition; some friends I couldn't bond with, others cut off friendships entirely. In my previous relationship, I also dealt with my mate not fully understanding my loss; she still had her friends, and although a few times, she tried to incorporate them, I knew they were "her friends" and she had no interest in us having joint friends. You can always reach out to me to talk if you need to...whether you need to laugh or just vent because you are frustrated because this path you speak of I know all too well...
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