What Da Double Hockey sticks is wrong with me?

I know that it has been a long time again since I've last blogged... I don't know what in the world what's going on with me. I can't say, not enough time... I can't say I don't have anything to talk about... I guess I am just flat out lazy...  I used to LOVE to blog... I don't know if I lost it or what.

I am still with SOS... Things have been good and somethings have been so so... I don't know if it is my mood swings or I am just going through the motions. I have my days when I am extremely HAPPY.. I have my days when I feel like I can CUT a Throat...  Thank God for her though... She is so patient with me. She says she doesn't know how she is able to put up with it.  Yet she does...

I told her a lot of it is my  JOB... So she says leave... I can't though.. I feel as if I am stuck there... The pay isn't bad (although it isn't enough to pay my bills) but the benefits are AWESOME... So I put up with so much on the daily..  We also keep going through different managers.. The new one we have I don't care for him at all.. I ALWAYS get along with male managers... Not this one though.. UGH!!!!!!!! My mother had surgery last week. Someone needed to be with her 24 hours to watch over her.. I had to work... So I called my job... How about that BASTID told me he ADVISE me to show up to work..  I was HOTTER than HELL..  Then today, he told me I better have a doctors note before I can clock into work... As long as Ive worked there.. They know most of the time, when my monthly 1st comes on.. It is BAD... Today was one of those days.. I rare call out... Then they have people there who are no call no shows... They still have a job... SMDH!

I am going to the doctor tomorrow... Ive been having these bad headaches again. Also some other issues that are going on with me. I hate feeling like this... I truly do... I also think that is causing some kind of issue within my relationship.. When I go on to my quiet mode (when I just don't feel like talking) it turns on my brain.. Then I start getting emotional and crying a lot...

Stress of LIFE, LIFESTYLE,FAMILY & FRIENDS, and JOB, is starting to really creep in.. I feel like a nervous breakdown will come soon... I pray that it doesn't though... That will bring on MORE BIG ISSUES!!
I feel I am in need of PROZAC!!