With everything that is going on in my life right now.. I had decided to give up the fight to be someone's all.. It isn't leading me any where but a doubtful broken heart.. I am so tired of trying to be everything to one person. So I know what patient means but I am done.
This whole week I been back and forth to the doctors with my mother. So I am beyond stressed and on top of that I got to go tomorrow and Tuesday to other appointments with her. I hope that they will find out what is wrong with her.. It is getting to the point that it is making her upset.. I hate seeing my mother down because she the one that actually loves me...
So after going through the week full of emotions. I decided what is best for me. I really wish I was the type that actually like being around people. I hate that my trust issues over the years has really brought me to the point to not even want to meet new people. I do need something going on about my life. I am becoming an emotional wreck again.
I feel worse than I did when me and Cooper ended everything. I guess because this person hasn't actually did anything. He just doesn't see me more than a friend. I guess that is why it hurts.. I respect that he has been honest with me. I respect the fact that he really does love me. It's on another level.. So I will stop fighting with my heart and mind,.. Letting it go!
I am really meant to be single.. I thought if I gave myself enough years to grow God would send me someone that truly adores me.. He did but he brought one of my best of friends.. So I guess that is what I suppose to have.. Undying friendships.. They all I seem to be to these men these days... Friends... When being the Homegirl is going to end?
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