Tuesday, March 31, 2009

My Thoughts of Today:Keeping up with the Jones'


I tell you I never knew these people. I know the Jones family I do know.. I never wanted to be like them. This is a popular saying that I hear so much these days. I always heard this when I was a child. My mother and her friends talking about someone they knew.

Who are these Jones es anyway? I wondering what and how they got the things that they have. What is it about them that makes people want to be like them. They must be Billionaires. Cause they have the cars, the money, the house, and everything you can imagine.

People want the things that they have. They sit around and envy this family. If the Jones family get a wide screen.. The Anderson family goes and get a tv bigger than that. Not worrying about the fact that they might go into debt.

Here is the History of the Saying....

The phrase was popularized when a comic strip of the same name was created by cartoonist Arthur R. "Pop" Momand.[1] The strip debuted in 1916 in the New York World, but strips appear in collections dated as early as April 1, 1913. The strip ran in American newspapers for 28 years, and was eventually adapted into books, films, and musical comedies. The "Joneses" of the title were neighbors of the strip's main characters, and were spoken of but never actually seen in person. Read more Here Wikipedia...

I tell you.. I have always wanted to meet these people. I do know I try not to buy anything I can't pay for or afford... What about you? Do you try to keep up with the Jones?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

My Thoughts of the Day... Domestic Violence..


My thoughts of today is one that is the Hot Topic right now. It is Domestic Violence. I for one don't think it is right for anyone to be abused in a relationship. I do know that I am tried of hearing the Rhianna and Chris Brown story. I feel they need to work things out for themselves. If she chooses to be with the man, then everyone else needs to back off. I tell you she really isn't listening to them.

I myself was in a relationship like this. I was being mentally, emotional, and physical abused. It wasn't fun at all. I tried to talk to people about it, and no one wanted to listen. I became a person I never thought I would be. An weak and confused woman. I thought the man loved me. I stay for a couple of years, but I ended leaving him one cold December day in 1998.

He was the type that wanted things his way. I am the same way though. So when he didn't get his way he would try to take it out on me. After we ended out relationship, he tried saying that he never abused me. See I would always fight back with something. Heck one day before Thanksgiving he tried to fight me. I ended up throwing a frozen turkey @ him. It hit him in the leg. He knew not to mess with me that night. I wanted to stab him up so badly.

His abuse was so bad to the point, I needed to go to seek help. I mean real mental help. So I don't wish this on anyone. I do wish that it is more places out there for women and men who are being abused by their mates. I so wished that I was able to received help when I was asking for it. His abuse cause me to loose a baby. His abuse cause me to have low self esteem. His abuse made me bitter.

Say no to Domestic Violence..

Sunday, February 22, 2009

My Thoughts of Today.. Men Who Can't Love..

It has been 48 hours since I last talked to him. Over the last few weeks it seemed that everything was going fairly well. I don't know what and why, I haven't received a call back from him. Frankly I don't care. I called a few times and today, I left a message.. "I will not call back".

I am serious about this. I am tired of always being the loyal one. I am tired of always being so concerned and what not. Well I take it he does not want to talk to me. It is his choice and I am not putting a gun to his head.

I represent a woman that loves and care about the future. Not just my future alone, but the future of the man I love. He always had commitment issues. I never tried to force it. I just tried to deal with it time and time again. I think he has gotten used to the fact that I always there. Always there when he need to feel loved.

Well you know there are times that I need to feel loved myself. Lonely nights are not so wonderful, if you know what I mean. Living far from a person the only connection you have is a simple phone call. When that becomes non existence you feel neglected. So you start to question the last conversation you had with this person.

Well I stopped years ago wondering what I did wrong. I know that it has never been me in the first place. I have always been upfront, understanding, and loving. I try to put things into place. Then his actions becomes so contradictory. One minute I am the love of his life. The next minute he wants to be freed of me.

I wrote on my other blog a few weeks back about how I am not so independent. It was a conversation I had with him. He was mad because he wants an Independent woman. Now note ( I take care of myself. I have raised myself since I was 14. I work and pay my own bills. I never asked him or anyone else to do jack shyt for me). I just feel in a relationship, there are things that a man should do.

It kills me when a man wants to be treated like a man, and then turn around and act like a punk. It boggles me, what are they thinking... You have to act like a man to be treated as one. Ya feel me?

I had this book for awhile now Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart".
I started reading this book today. It has been on the shelf for a few years. Heck it has been on the shelf since me and MC first meet. I see where the author is coming from. I have put myself in this type of relationship over and over again. I used to think it was me. I know this is not the case.

I had an ex once tell me after we were together for 8 years, You are like a wife and I am not ready for marriage.. This statement has stuck with me for years. I know I am not a perfect person, but damn, it makes me feel like it.

It goes to show you that some men rather be with a whore than a good woman.. I will never be that. So if it means that I must remain single, I'll be that...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Thoughts of Today.. Stop Staring...

I tell you I think one of the things that bother me the most is someone staring at me. People didn't your parents tell you that it is not nice to stare? Today I witness a few kids just looking at this person and wouldn't stop. I couldn't figure out why those kids was doing it.

I know for me if someone looks at me that hard, I always ask them is there something wrong. If I am in a bad mood, I might say, What are you looking at? I just think it is so impolite to stare. Am I wrong in feeling this way?

I also have a problem with eyeballs. I am death scared of them. I can't really look at this picture above. So of course you know I don't want anyone eyeballing me. I think unless Lil Wayne, or David Banner is the ones that are staring.

I think the whole thing it makes me feel so uncomfortable. I think like do I have something on my face, a bugger in my nose. See you never know.. So please don't stare at people.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Thoughts of Today.. Valentine's Day

What a day that most people spend money on things that makes you fat or can die... I am talking about Valentine's Day. A story that has a lot of mystery behind it (History of Valentine's Day).

I for one think that it shouldn't be a Valentine's Day. If you love someone then you should show it every day while they are still living. I really don't care for the gift part of it all. Just someone calling to see how I am doing, or just saying I love you. That is good enough for me.

I am allergic to Roses and that is the main flower for the Holiday. I also don't like how it cast out with Black History month. (selfish I know)...

Me and Cooper talked about how he feels Valentine's is not for men. It is a holiday that a man suppose to show the woman how much he cares for her. I think that is kinda true. It is hard to find a man a gift on this holiday. All the pink and what not is not a good gift for a manly man. A card is about the only thing that you can give, without him going ballistic.

I just don't care for the holiday. I don't see the big deal. I don't knock anyone who does. You know mainstream can suck you in at any time. Some of my friends think it is because I am single that I don't care for it. I tell you even when I had a man, It wasn't a big thing for me.
I hope that you all enjoy Saturday.. I will be working and seeing all these people spend all this money on Candy and Flowers...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

My Thoughts of Today... Perception

I just got to say this.. I have been looking at different sites and I tell you, I don't always like what I see. I don't like how some sites really portray Blacks. It is hard as it is to find comments for other sites with the African America theme. So when some sites that aren't ran by Black Artist you tend to get something like what's pictured. I know that there has to be some copyright issues along with this too. I know Gabby wouldn't say anything like this.

Do we really act and say some of the things that they put on these comments? I saw one, I am a Pimp and I got a lot of juice. Now I know Nelly made a song awhile back with Pimp Juice (was it Nelly)... So do people still think folks go around and say Pimp and Bling still.. I thought we lost the Bling in the 90's.

They had on with Ashanti on there saying Made in the Ghetto... I like to fell out of my seat.. Do people think that all Blacks come from a Ghetto? I tell you not all of us have.

I just feel that we have to try and try to get a better image for ourselves. Yes we are living in a country now that has a Black President. Things are looking so much better for all of us. I want the negative, illiterate, and insulting to stop.

Just because of a few (more than a few) want to go out and make asses of themselves, doesn't mean all blacks say or act this way. Sometimes I do blame Hip Hop and Pop Culture for some of the things.

I have always been a person who is very careful how I present myself. I wish everyone else was the same way...

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My Thoughts of Today... Being Patient


I been here thinking.. I have been up and down with the love of my life. I have always been patient with him.

My past with him has been so so. I do know that even at the worst of times I still loved him. I promise him I would practice being even more patient.

He is one that hasn't had many women in his life. He was sorta of a shelter and shy boy growing up. He witness the relationship between his mother and father not be so good. So sometimes I think it is a deeper issue as to why a relationship is so hard for him. His father wasn't always around and when he was he wasn't there for his kids. Yet the love his mother had for his father never changed. If he did wrong she still was there for the man.

I kinda feel like his mother in some way. I wouldn't have put up with the things his father did. I do know my love for him is even stronger as we aren't together at this moment. I have learned in my past, that a man isn't always ready when the woman is. You can not force it just let it flow into place.

I have over the last 5 years been letting things fall into place. I think today was one of the days that my patience has paid off. It hasn't gotten the results that I wanted. It is still shows some progress. Today I heard the words that I been wanting to hear for the longest... Tracy, I am happy to have you in my life... It was weird and I had to wait for a second to let it all soak in.

The most ironic thing was those words was told to me by his mother in a dream last night. I had a dream that me and him got into it at his mother's house. She said, You better stop acting like that. She is the best thing that ever happened to you. You outta be happy she is still with you. So when he told me this I was so dumbfounded.

I am still being patient and I am not jumping back into to something with him. I am going to wait and see how things pan out. He is and I feel will always be the love of my life. Have you just ever found someone that you can feel totally comfortable with? I have that with him, even if we aren't in a relationship..

I am letting things fall into place. I was blessed when God gave me the gift of patience. Good things always come to those who wait.. I am willing too...

I can't believe...

 It has been this long since I last posted here. Nothing really has changed but my mentality.. I truly believe that I've gotten wiser an...