Today I was looking at my sister's status message while I was at work... It brought tears to my eyes.. She was talking about how every morning she wakes up and give praises to God.. She thanks him how he keeps her sane and gives her hope... I myself do the same thing.. I thank him for allowing me to see another day... It is just my sister LIVES her life. She doesn't worry about what others think.. She keeps it moving... So I told her to give me encouraging words... I am at the low point as of right now..
I have my days now.. Some days are better than others.. The things that play in my head is keeping me from living.. I WANT A NORMAL LIFE.. Why does these thoughts and feelings keep playing a MAJOR role in my life? One of the people that I think highly of wrote a blog entry one day.. She was talking about living your life... I had to comment on it.. I made a comment that went something life this... " I rather live in misery than to let the truth come out"... Isn't this sad..? I mean seriously.. I found the reasons to why my relationships doesn't work.. I knew it all along.. I just keep right on lying to myself.. I don't know why.. I just do..
I am a grown woman and I still can't face my truths and my demons... So most of the time, I front when I am around people.. I am good at reading others.. So I feel that they can read me back. So I continue to isolate myself from a lot of people.. I have gotten to the point where I don't like to be around some.. I know that I am not living the short life that I have.. . I am a woman full of mystery.. I pray that one day, I will be able to break this.. Still a work in progress..
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