Looking at my Blessings with the side eye on my life in general..

I am thankful for everything. I am one of the most humblest people in the world. I have always known how to survive and make the best of everything. I have learned over my years on this earth that most of the time there are things you really don't need and a want is just a want. You can go without it and you can find ways to something equivalent to what you want.
So I am blessed. I am also blessed to still have my mother here. Although daily her health and mind is not the mother I once knew.. It breaks my heart but I know this comes with age. As I said before, been down this road before with my grandmother Bernice.

I almost peed in my pants this morning when I called my doctor office and was said that I have a zero balance. I just knew they wasn't going to see me any longer because I can't afford insurance anymore and I was making monthly payments until the move... I stopped paying around August because of finances.. I was ready to start back paying them and when they said that I was like Look at God.. Won't he do it.. (insert praise)

(side-eyeing Life)

This past year I have felt so lonely. I have felt that no one really cares about me or what I am going through. I know over the years I have pushed people away but that were some I wasn't really close to.. Since I have moved into this new home and been going through the motions with mom and my health.. It's like no one calls, no one writes, and no one stops by... I don't even get inboxes on Facebook asking how am I doing.. It is the little things that would perk me up.

It amazes me when you are always there for others when you just need a conversation no one has time to just be there for you.. People do have their own lives and I know some don't know what to expect from me time after time.. My emotions and my moods be all over the place.. I just want a good gut busting laugh.. Something that lets me know life still exist..