The Baby is almost here... My weekend fun family time!

My cousin Maya is about to have baby Madison come next month.. So over the weekend we had her a Pink Lemonade Baby Shower.. It was great, stressful at first because of the prep.. It turned out awesome. Me in my costume was fun too.

I am waiting for Baby Madi because you all know I love the kids.. Me and my mom brought her tons over clothes and what nots., I already told her I want her every weekend that I am not doing anything. A baby is still something I want but I know I am at the age to where, it might not be possible. So I am ok with that now.. So I get to spoil other peoples babies.. LOL

Thankful for family and friends...

When the fight isn't worth fighting..

This is the year I turn 40.. Yea I have mention that a time or two already..

I am TIRED everyone.. So tired.. I feel like I am back in my 20's.. I am dealing with some many emotions right now. I am trying to remain positive and keep my head up. 

Over the weekend I was just debating how and why things are the way they are. 

I am not fighting anymore.. I am tired and I going to let things be as they are.. 

You can't save or be there for someone who don't see the wrong in their ways..

He didn't come for me, He came for her!

Last week I got some news.. I mean news 5 years ago would have been exciting to me.. It hasn't phased me much since I heard the news..

MC told me last week that he was moving back to Greenville for Good.. For years I wanted him to move back, just to see if there was something still between us. After the last couple of visits he made down here, he promised to meet up with me.. He never came.. Beside about one time, when I went up there I never saw him.. He was either busy or just didn't have time. So they you know the way I felt about him, I felt that it's a lost cause and just move on.

I think he has been in town for the last  3 days and I haven't heard a word.. I know when he was dating someone else from this area they broke up because she wanted him to move back down here. Well I know how much he loved her. Yea, he would call and talk to me about their problems. He felt that he was getting the Karma for the way he treated me. In which that could be so.. LOL Anyhoo, I don't know but I do know when he comes here he does see her..

I used to wonder, How can he love her? She has several kids, she is materialistic, she thinks everything suppose to be about her.. Then I got to see her once.. She is gorgeous.. She is a redbone (high yella almost looks mixed). She is a heavy girl but big in the right places.. You know big hips and booty.. Me... Darkskinned, Out of Shape, Flatbooty, and Dreads.. Now I know I am cute, you can't tell me I am not. I do know these men around here I am not appealing too.. I posted before how the light brights and the white chicks get all the men around here. Also me being a woman who loves black men (darkerskin) I get over looked..

Even my bestest still lusting over his ex girl. So I decided to just stop fooling myself with him. We are friends and we have been friends for years.. I am not going to taint that relationship with him, because I love him. So I don't want to lose what we have. So we are going to remain that, nothing more.
Even me and MC have grown to respect each other as far as being nice to one another..
So he is back, and it really doesn't matter.. I can say I am finally moved passed that and going to continue to live my life..
I wish him well...

It's almost official...

Owning my own business has been a dream for the longest time. 

After leaving my job for 21 years, I said it was time. 

I have been working on my idea and looking to what to do first. 

I said I would cater 1st. I also thought about starting a GoFund me page but I don't know. 

I am ready.. I already have a job set up for June 6th and August 27th.. I am however going to 

do a taster.. So I can let those know what I offer.. 

I getting closer and closer to my dream. :)

I am starting on my 2nd full week of Unemployment. I needed this break however I am getting bored.. I am also getting frustrated with waiting on my paperwork with my former employer.  I can't do what I need to do without them. 

I am trying to start my business.. In late summer I will be opening my own catering business.. It's going to be my baby. I figured why not do what I love to do.. I know the 1st year or two is going to be hard. I have to really budget, budget.. I am ready for these challenges.. 

I got to do 1st thing first though.. You might see me writing more since I have plenty of time now.. LOL

In My thoughts: When I think Racism will end..

I been thinking of this for awhile but I really didn't want to say anything about it. Well after watch a video on Facebook today, it got me thinking. It was a video on how Black Women act differently over seas with white men.. You know how black men think we are aggressive and non submissive.. My opinion, we act according to how we are treated.. If you talk mess to me, I'm gonna talk mess to you.. If you are good to me I am good to you..

Back to my post..

The way some Black men lust and swoon over white women or bi-racial women, and how NOW some white men are finally being honest with liking black women.. Also with Black men hooking up with other races... It the future let's say 2047 there will be no true race.. So this will cut out a lot of racism, It will hardly been any pure race. I am starting to see it now.. Especially in my little ole town of Easley, it's mixed kids popping up everywhere. So maybe, even though this town everyone is mostly undercover racists. This might just bring a closer relationship with each other..

Although I choose not to date outside my race because I have no desire too.. I also don't find what I would have in common with someone of another race unless they are Asian or Latin and that is food that we would have in common.. LOL

I am ready for all this to end. I want us all to get along or be able to have a great dialogue on why we have a hard time to communicating and understanding one another. The headlines the other week was they Love our Culture but doesn't Love us.. It is pretty accurate in my eyes. They are now getting butts, big lips, doing the whip, and the shanae-nae..  My only issue with all of that, is don't try to be hood if you never grew up in the hood. See it is so easy to pretend and never had to live it..

I just hope my theory will come true.. I give it another 50 years.. Since we are the only country that define people by race instead of the country we live in.. We will see, God Willing..

The older I get...

I am at the point that I have no time for nonsense.. I have been that way before but it's getting to the point where I can't tolerate nothing anymore. If it rubs me the wrong way, I either react or walk off.. 

See with everything I am going through I can't afford to deal with certain things. 

So when folks have tried to get me off focus.. I have to cut them off. I know it seems mean, knowing the person that I am.

In other news.. Me being single is starting to weight heavy on me.. Not, in the sense where I want a relationship, but the chances of being in one is slim to none. I don't mind being single. I just didn't think at this age I will still be single. Yes, I have the companionship of my Bestest.. It is just not what I desire. I want to be the sunshine in someone's life. The town I live in as I stated before, they are mostly family or they date outside of their race. Being a brown girl in my town it's hard to find a man who isn't family or date within the brown race.  So you go to near by towns and guess what, they are either your cousin or someone you know once dated them.. Give me a Break.. lol My friends tell me to date outside my race and I JUST CAN'T... I am not attracted to anyone who isn't black,.. I am not into trying to blend cultures.. I know I am what you call Pro Black and I love my race. I love everything about my race.. Yes I can be friendly and what not.. I can go hang out and drink and dance.. I want that Black Love..

I really don't want to become that grumpy old woman.. LOL