Lifestyle Changes...

I am sorry that I have been away for such a long time.. I been busy and on that same not I was wearing myself very thin.. I am now officially in the High Blood Pressure Club... :(

I know things going on with my mom, me not working, me wanting to start my own business, and things with the Bestest have taken me through loops.. I still don't see how I am now part of this club..

So now I am going back to trying to exercise and also not put too much pressure on myself.. I am always trying to be the superwoman, when I just need to sit down and just chill..

On Tuesday I was just going to the doctor for an infection that I thought I had.. I have been suffering real bad headaches so I thought it was a migraine or a sinus infection..
I got to the Doctor and they took my BP and told me to go straight to the Emergency Room...
I got to the ER and they told me I was on stroke level high.. (crying).. My life has just changed... I didn't want to be one of those women who has to be depended on pills. I am not a bad eater (at least I don't think)..

So right now I am on bedrest for a week.. Man, this is so hard, but my life is really important..

My changes is going to be to stop worrying about things I have no control over.. I also going to cut my intake of fried foods, and stop smoking.. I ask my followers to just send a prayer for me..  <3 p="">

In my thoughts... This week in History..

Well Well Well.. This week has been so full of emotions and a lot of news..

Starting with this Flag issue and Woo Hoo to Bree Newsome.. I guess she is about tired of hearing about they flag as I am. 

I was highly upset that the focus was more on this flag than the 9 innocent lives that was taken by a terrorist.. 

Facebook showed me a couple of my friends acting all crazy about why they don't want their heritage taken away.. I had one go as far as say take away Black History Month if they take the flag down.. I had one talking about they aren't going to celebrate Martin Luther King day if the Flag is taken down. I tell you this thing has gotten out of hand. 

When they whole mess started I didn't see the point of the flag taken down. One is that it's will cause more problems here in the south (in my opinion) you know Racist Redneck will do a sneak attack.. Also that the flag has been flying this long it isn't going to change anything...

I had to delete so many people off my list because it was getting on my nerves the bickering..

Then seeing President Obama give the Eulogy at Senator Pickney's Funeral, was AMAZING!! I love it. Even if he can't sing a lick, it was still moving.. I don't care what other's say about that man, he is the 1st President in my lifetime that has showed so much Humanity.. I told my mother today we might not ever see again that much awesomeness in the White House again.. Then he had to say Nigger and people go in an uproar. He had to for that context.. People gonna be mad regardless..

Another good thing ObamaCare isn't going anywhere no time soon... I am glad of that because being unemployed right now, it's a life saver.. 

Then all HAYAL breaks loose when they legalized Gay Rights for all 50 states.. 

Facebook blows up again.. Every religious person came out of no where.. I am like this is the 1st time they ever said anything about religion. 

It's been a week.. of Historical Events I should say.. Just be careful and not get to distracted.. These events are just being distractions so we won't pay attention to the real issues.. I still pray for the families of the Charleston 9... 

Prayers for Charleston SC... My heart is so heavy...

My Beloved City is in morning.. Since last night I been sick to my stomach. 

Someone so Evil and Hateful could so something so horrific... 

My prayers are with my friends and family affected by this in Charleston.. 

I hope they catch this suspect and alive..

#prayersforCharleston

The Baby is almost here... My weekend fun family time!

My cousin Maya is about to have baby Madison come next month.. So over the weekend we had her a Pink Lemonade Baby Shower.. It was great, stressful at first because of the prep.. It turned out awesome. Me in my costume was fun too.

I am waiting for Baby Madi because you all know I love the kids.. Me and my mom brought her tons over clothes and what nots., I already told her I want her every weekend that I am not doing anything. A baby is still something I want but I know I am at the age to where, it might not be possible. So I am ok with that now.. So I get to spoil other peoples babies.. LOL

Thankful for family and friends...

When the fight isn't worth fighting..

This is the year I turn 40.. Yea I have mention that a time or two already..

I am TIRED everyone.. So tired.. I feel like I am back in my 20's.. I am dealing with some many emotions right now. I am trying to remain positive and keep my head up. 

Over the weekend I was just debating how and why things are the way they are. 

I am not fighting anymore.. I am tired and I going to let things be as they are.. 

You can't save or be there for someone who don't see the wrong in their ways..

He didn't come for me, He came for her!

Last week I got some news.. I mean news 5 years ago would have been exciting to me.. It hasn't phased me much since I heard the news..

MC told me last week that he was moving back to Greenville for Good.. For years I wanted him to move back, just to see if there was something still between us. After the last couple of visits he made down here, he promised to meet up with me.. He never came.. Beside about one time, when I went up there I never saw him.. He was either busy or just didn't have time. So they you know the way I felt about him, I felt that it's a lost cause and just move on.

I think he has been in town for the last  3 days and I haven't heard a word.. I know when he was dating someone else from this area they broke up because she wanted him to move back down here. Well I know how much he loved her. Yea, he would call and talk to me about their problems. He felt that he was getting the Karma for the way he treated me. In which that could be so.. LOL Anyhoo, I don't know but I do know when he comes here he does see her..

I used to wonder, How can he love her? She has several kids, she is materialistic, she thinks everything suppose to be about her.. Then I got to see her once.. She is gorgeous.. She is a redbone (high yella almost looks mixed). She is a heavy girl but big in the right places.. You know big hips and booty.. Me... Darkskinned, Out of Shape, Flatbooty, and Dreads.. Now I know I am cute, you can't tell me I am not. I do know these men around here I am not appealing too.. I posted before how the light brights and the white chicks get all the men around here. Also me being a woman who loves black men (darkerskin) I get over looked..

Even my bestest still lusting over his ex girl. So I decided to just stop fooling myself with him. We are friends and we have been friends for years.. I am not going to taint that relationship with him, because I love him. So I don't want to lose what we have. So we are going to remain that, nothing more.
Even me and MC have grown to respect each other as far as being nice to one another..
So he is back, and it really doesn't matter.. I can say I am finally moved passed that and going to continue to live my life..
I wish him well...

It's almost official...

Owning my own business has been a dream for the longest time. 

After leaving my job for 21 years, I said it was time. 

I have been working on my idea and looking to what to do first. 

I said I would cater 1st. I also thought about starting a GoFund me page but I don't know. 

I am ready.. I already have a job set up for June 6th and August 27th.. I am however going to 

do a taster.. So I can let those know what I offer.. 

I getting closer and closer to my dream. :)