It's must be the season of reflecting.. You know the Fall is always my favorite time of the year.. It also brings a lot of emotions my way. I become distant and isolated...
Last night I cut everything off around 6:30 I laid in bed in total darkness and silence.
I was that way until around 12 this morning. I even cut my phone off and disconnected myself for everything on the outside world.
I would lay there listening to my thoughts.. I would also get up and get on my knees to Pray to the Lord. It got to the point where I felt no one but God with me. As I cried to him and poured my heart unto him.
I believe that this is one of my things to do when Life as I know it is about to change and not change slowly but drastically. It's about to be something that is beyond my control take major hit in my life. I shouldn't sound so negative but I feel it. This is why I had to take this day and give every thought to silence.
I do believe some of the energy is released from me. I wish that all was but as I woke this morning I still had the uneasy feeling go through my gut... I just wish things would be better.. I often wonder why do I go through so much.. Especially since I have been so go to so many people. What have I've done wrong to go through so much pain and suffering.?
Am I really built for this? Am I just over-reacted to all that is hitting me at once?
Why am I so sensitive? I try not to question the Lord.. He has everything already planned out.. This is what I believe. It's just becoming too much.. Just entirely too much for my spirit..
I hear that I bring so much joy and happiness to others.. Then when why does it drains so much out of me? I look for the good in the world but they world isn't good to me.
I don't know what is to become of all this and I gather that it will make me stronger or kill me slowly..
Have a wonderful Sunday and Be Blessed!!
No comments:
Post a Comment