Bedrest, BullShyt, and Boredom...

I feel like I can Scream and everyone on this planet will be able to hear me. I tell you the last few days has BEEN HAYAL!

Where do I begin... Hmm let's get the BullSHYT out the way first... I feel like this, If someone that says they LOVE YOU and they see you are having a hard time right now and you reach out to them, they should be there.. Point Blank.. I am there for them, so why can't you be there for me.. (sorry arses).. Someone that I've been dating (yeah) since December... Known him for over 20 years but never saw him as potential but he is fun to be around..  Anyhoo, me being home taking care of my mom and not being able to work right now. I wanted to start trying to do businesses that I can do for home. So  I asked him would he be able to help me out. NOTE: He has a good paying job and he has 2 other roommates. He doesn't have a car payment nor do he has any kids to take care of... To make it clear the money his roommates gives him it pays all the bills.. (smh) Well for the past month he has been coming up with excuses.. Then I asked him again this passed week.. He comes out his mouth "GET YOUR ARSE A DAMN JOB"...  I don't know if the devil got in me or what... Let's just say I am no longer dating (again) lol.. I don't even know if he is my friend anymore. It got to the point I had to say Fuck You.. See about a month ago I had to do my father the same way.. It's crazy.. They see what I am going through on a daily basis but they insist to make me feel like I am not shyt.. That's my momma.. She has taken cared of me, sacrificed for me, and I owe her this.. See her health declining faster than I thought it would and I know how my mom is.. She isn't and doesn't want any stranger in this house with her.

I don't ask people to help me normally.. I have always been the giver and helper.. Heck, I used to help his crazy arse when he used to get into trouble and what not.. So you would think that he would be open and willing, since he goes on how I have always been the one.. They one he loves and always had... BullShyt!!


Bed-rest and Boredom goes right along with each other.. I've been having female issues for over a year now. I still waiting on the ok to have my hysterectomy..   Well I am not going into be details with all that because I know some of you already know.. LOL.. Well the doctor has put me on bedrest for a few days and I have to take it extremely easy and drink a lot of fluids.. #UGH I don't know how bedrest I am when I have to keep on pissing every minute..  I want my life back.. I want to be able to socialize and deal with folks.  Everyone now that used to be my clique married, getting married, in a relationship, got a few kids.. So I don't have hanging folks, plus I don't like going places alone.. (I know how am I going to meet people)... It's just how I am..
I do have something coming up next week.. I can't wait.. I get to get out the house for awhile.. LOL