My Thoughts of Today....My Dreads

My Dreads...



Lord know I love my hair. I waited almost all my life to get locs. It took me when I turn 30 to do so. I got tired of the perms and spending all that money on getting my hair just right. I am at the most happiest state of hair right now.

My only problem is... I am getting so sick and tired of doing my own. I live in a town where people really don't like people with dreads. I get those looks and the asking questions. You know those "Do you wash your hair?" I hate when people ask that too. Of course I wash my hair. I do take care of myself.

Well the town over have people who do locs. They cost me a arm and a leg to do it. I mean I can do my own for free at home. They will charge me between 60 to 80 dollars to just to the new growth. So I am in a state that I have to do my own. :(

My 3rd year anniversary will be coming up soon. I started locing my hair in November of 2005. I had to break down and forget about what people was going to say. I tell you since then I am proud that I made this decision. It has been one of the hightlights of my life...


I love my Dreads..

My Thoughts of Today.. Tough Times

Right now I am in a state that I don't know what to do but leave it to God. I thought that this year would be so much better than last year. Oh boy wasn't I wrong. I am at the point where I feel like I am worth more dead than alive.

I keep saying trouble don't last always. When I say I cut back I have cut back. I am losing hours on my job. They don't want to pay me more. I had to have work done on my mouth. I am living on a costly overdraft as we speak. Well it isn't too much in overdraft, but hell I had to pay my bills. I have even went off have the cable modem. (now that sucks) I had to resort to the free trial of AOL until my fiances get a little better.

I know that I will make it through I have made it through so many times. I have went as far as looking for another job or a part time job. I worked 2 jobs before and I hated it with a passion. So I am looking for at least 3 days a week. I need the extra income coming it. I am the only one working in this house and it is putting a strain on me. My mother gets a retirement check but that is not much. I am basically taking care of her (because of her health).

We does this all leads me. I know pretty soon some more bills going to come up and I am not sure how I am going to pay them.. I hope a change is going to come. I hope it comes soon. Lord be with me..

My Thoughts of Today....My Habits

I have a serious smoking habit. I am not to proud of it. I do love it though. Over the last few days I had to do without.

My dental work has cause me to be sick to my stomach. Do you know how I feel right now? I think many of you feel the same way some of my other friends feel. "You don't need to smoke it is bad for your health."
I tell you that is the saying that I hate the most.
Yes smoking can be bad for your health. It can also cause you to lost money too.
Yes I spend about 50 dollars a week for my habit.

I don't even care how much it cost. I love this habit. It relaxes me when I am at work or at home. I love when the smoke fills my lungs and I get to exhale the smoke. I get this feeling that is so calming.

Yes I might die of heart failure, or something of that nature. There isn't anything in this world that is really healthy for you any way. I mean in the foods you have a chance of dying from eating. You can go out and get hit by a car, bus, or train.

My biggest thing I have a problem with is the fact of these smoking bans. You can go to a bar get drunk and drive home. You just better not light up a cigg cause you will get fined. So I am killing the next person because I am smoking next to them. Yet a person who goes out to drink is may or may not take a person life.

I just don't understand....

Mahoganydymond.net

I couldn't go without my site too long.. I needed my baby back.. So I will be back to blogging over there. I will be doing my thoughts of the day here...

The Candles are all blown out...

It's the day after my Birthday. It wasn't like the usual one that I normally have. No one making a big fuss. I didn't even get a cake this year. My #1 man didn't even call to wish me Happy Birthday. When we talked he still never said anything.

Well the day after I am not even mad. See in the past I would have argued, fussed, and even cried. This really does mean I am growing up..

My Birthday is also a day where my friends from way back call me. I might not talk to them a whole year, but they remember to call me on my birthday. So Quina and Zanya will always be my Birthday Cheerleaders. I do know I forget theirs all the time. Not!!!

The only thing that is bothering me is the fact I can not smoke. I got my Wisdom teeth pulled out. I got it done on Tuesday. I keep hearing about this dry socket. I am death scared of that, but I need a NEWPORT.

My face is swollen. My mouth hurts, and the Loritab's is making me sick. I am up at 3 o clock in the morning. I am hungry.... To curb my Newport craving I am just letting the cigs burn.. hehehee

I know I just need to relax. Hopefully by the end of this week or next, I will have Mahoganydymond.net back into full swing..

I just don't feel right...

I miss my baby.. I blogged here and I normally did my thoughts of the day.. I just miss my Mahoganydymond.net... We just have to cut the buck some where. I was spending unnecessary money. I love to blog and there are tons of blogging communities here. So although I love my own . net... I have to suck it up and let it go...

To be honest I don't want to blog right now..

I had my part 1 of oral surgery done yesterday.. I am so feenin' for a newport and some ribs...

It might just be me....

ItI see now that in the times and trials of my life. The only person that I need is myself. I used to think that it was a pleasure to have friends that care about you. Well in this dark moment, I have none but a few. You go all your life looking to people for comfort. When the time is at your darkest you may have slim to none.

I have been dealing with emotional pain for a very long time. I thought I was strong enough to deal with my issues. I felt like if I just put myself in a place of happy thoughts, I will make it through. O boy was I so wrong. I mean I am in good spirits and I feel that I have over came a lot.

I have been dealing with this tooth pain. Then with the headaches and then the top of stress I am going through. I feel like what can happen next. I don’t think I am ready to see what will happen next.

Last night showed me that I am truly getting older and I got to suck it up. My birthday is on Wednesday but I was celebrating it last night and tonight. I know after I get a few of my teeth cut out I will not be able to enjoy my birthday. My friends knew about it, I told them what time to be there.

A friend of my from North Carolina came down and it was just me and her. A few said they didn’t have the money to come. I had a few that didn’t have no gas in there car, and I had a few that said they would show up later on, I had a few that didn’t want to come because of the other events going on. I also had a few that just didn’t respond all together.

I sucked it up and took it like a Champ. I didn’t worry about them not showing up. Everyone have their reasons and frankly I don’t care about them. Then they wonder why I don’t like talking to them as much as I used to. I no longer have the time to try and keep up with those chickas.

I will not be going to Atlanta this weekend now. My mouth hurts so bad and I know after getting the Wisdom teeth cut out, it is going to be worst. So now I am looking forward to my other trips by the end of the year. I was trying to go back to Atlanta. I also was going to plan a Christmas trip to Alabama, but I can’t get a hold of my Alabama people. So I am going to try to go to Florida. My friend Dee said she will hook me up on a few hotels I might want to stay in.

So I guess we will see how everything turn out in the long run.. I am going to be here and be me. You have to love it or leave it.. I am seeing a lot of people who are leaving it.. Suit yourself.. Be happy… Be blessed…