Wondering where everything might lead me....

I had a lot of things on my mind today. Then once I got to the point of typing it all here. I totally forgot almost everything I was wanting to say.

I am always focusing on the future. What road am I going to go down. Then I kept getting stopped by the stop sign. It leaves me confused.

I don't know why I am a mental case. People don't believe me and I don't want to claim it. I just know that I am about to lose my mind. I try to find other things to do.. I try to keep my mind together. It just goes all over the place. I can be at work and my mind start wandering in all different directions.  Is this normal. At times I think I even lose sleep over it...  So as I sit and wondering... All these things I am going through... Where is this really going to lead me.

One of my cousins today said he believes he is going to end up being a grumpy old man... You know what.. I believe I am going to be the same way.. Not a grumpy old man of course. Yet a grumpy old woman. I just been in the mood as F it.. I am tired of dealing with people that do not have any conscience. I always respect other people feelings..So why is it so hard for others to do the same.. I swear we live in a world of selfishness...

I also felt the love and the act of kindness come my way.. This lady gave me 100 dollars out the blue. She said God said give it to me. I was just so shocked by it all. I told her to keep it, but she said NO.. It did help me out a lot. I also gave some of it away.

I am so trying to remain positive. I am trying to be the best I can be.. I just hope it doesn't come to the point where I just shut everyone down...