I am starting to get tired of being Misunderstood. I don't get why people think I suppose to act one way... I don't get why people refuse to listen to my side of things. Some feel like I complain a lot. Also think that I need to just suck it up and get over it. In some cases that could be true. I have a right to feel though...
As you all know I lost 3 people that I was close to right when I started dating my former SOS. The people I went to have a good time with. The people that I went to when I needed a friend to talk to.. The people who kept me company when I was down and depressed... I NO LONGER HAVE THOSE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
Since I've been out of work due to my surgery. I been to myself. I can't hang out.. Even if I did, who would I hang with. I have been getting a little depressed again. I have too much time to myself. So when I have that time, I THINK A LOT.. Me and thinking don't get along.
So today while talking to my Former SOS.. I became kinda PISSED... I wasn't mad, but I wasn't to happy. We were talking about how I have been acting lately. Yea, I haven't been in the best of moods.. It has nothing to do with the reasons she feel is the problem. She thinks I need to get out meet people and start back doing the things I did before I met her. (she fail to realize) I can't do those things at this moment and time. I am still in recovery. I am still broke.. I no longer have local friends. As of late she has been dishing that out.. Well DUH!! You are part of the freaking reason..
I can make up and try to reconcile my friendships.. Why though? It was some hateful, rude, and embarrassing things that were done and said. How can I get that friendship back? What if I decided to get involved again in another relationship? They might start tripping again... I don't need that...
What I need for them to know... I have every right to feel the way I feel... You think you know me... Seriously you don't....
1 comment:
I have a feeling, whether it would have been this relationship or another one, those people would have found a way to weed themselves out of your life any way. I don't think it's worth the strife to try and reconnect.
You have the right to be complex and to feel how you want to feel. Relationships aren't simple..they aren't always black and white. Neither are the emotions associated with them--during the beginning, the middle, nor the end.
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