My Thought of Today... The Old Me...

Thanks to my BFF I was able to stumble across my old blog. The site has been since taken down but I found some of my old post. It was back in 2001-2004. It was right before I found my MC. I could not believe I wrote some of these things. I was still posting stuff on Tupac and about all the men in my life. I tell ya PITIFUL. I am glad I finally woke up. All and all I still go through some of those things.

Here was my shout out page.....

First of all I would like to give a shout out to my Parents.I know that I wasn't the perfect child but I never direspected neither one of you.

Woaquina, my best friend since 5th grade. We have had some good and bad times. We overcame it all. Congratulations on the New Addition to the family
Zanya, you to best friend since 5th grade. I'm always here for you. I'll continue to pray for you.
Contessa, Girl I don't know what to do with out you. Good Luck on your new life in the Ft. Laud.
Lawona, my dawg for life..even thought we don't get to talk much. Congrats on the new Marriage.
Brian, I love you. You are the male friend that I have so much respect for. You have been there for me when no one else was able to be.I wish the best for you and your wife.. "I Love you"
Nang, You know how I feel.. Words will never express the love and honor you have given me over the past 16 years. I can say that the love we have for each other will never change. Even though we both are moving on in our lives. I'm glad that we can still be friends.. Yes I will always be yours.
*New Man* Coop, I am glad that we became what we became. I love your keeping it real attitude. You have made me feel special in so many ways I can't name them all. You are a young man that is really keeping me on my toes. Again, I am glad and I thank you from every little piece that is in my heart.

My friends that I consider family

Mioko, Thanks for all you have done.. I value your friendship, your advice, and your humor. You are my guardian angel.
Mz_Ryder, Girl you are a stone cold trip.. We are two of a kind. I will consider you my sistah for life.
Solo_909,This too shall pass.. You are a good man in hiding.. Things in your life will get better. See what I tell ya, great things come to thos who wait.

Toshi, you are my homie, and a very good friend. I wish the best for you and keep on with the keep on. I love ya sis...LOL
Shunna, my cousin, my sistah, and my partner in crime, there is nothing to say but I LOVE YA... Your da best.. Baby, Baby, Baby we are having a Baby... I will be a auntie...
Lrg,Red,BigdaddyChris,ttyeman(where in the heck are you?),DOOLOW,MsBlacKat,and the rest of the best..

My online Buddies
Brolove, Man you are the greatest.. If it wasn't you I wouldn't know anything on the net. I wish the best for you. I also can't wait until your Nubian Mindz start to shine.
MrDelite, You were the 1st person that I talked to on the net.. You to help me learn what html and website was. Even though you are being a butt at the present time..Total butt....(singing welcome back like mase..) lol
Ebnycream, Sapphire_Dreams, Mammadramma21(Meechelle where are ya?), Gusshawk, and my old WBS family.. I wish I knew where some of you all were. But where ever you all are I wish you all the best..
Remember Teelee loves you all.. I will be looking around the net for you.


Then I got to see some of my old pictures... Then Boom some of my old post...

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday....

Well this past weekend had it's ups and downs. I meet a person from my group over the weekend. We all went out to eat and had a grand ole time. I really enjoyed sitting around talking to people. I can be a hoot though at times.

Well I also went and meet MC at his house. We had a wonderful time. He was a pure gentleman up until yesterday afternoon. I think that our so called something is ove with. It hurts to say goodbye to him. I just feel that he wanted to let go because he was scared. We are having feeling conflicts. We both care a great deal for each other. Its just he dosent want a relationship. We talk all the time, we do things together, and we have great intimate momments. Its just he feels at this time relationship isnt what is best for us. He said that I am feeling him to much. I am not taking the time to really get our life together. I dont understand what is his problem. I am good to him, and heck he is good to me. He said we need to go back to having just a friendship. How do you do that? Me and him been friends for close to a year. We been intimate for about 3 months. Didnt people always friends make the best lovers. I guess not! Cause it didnt work for me like that. I want to know how to let go?

Trust, honest, and full of shyt....

I am about tired of this shyt again. I trust people to damn much. I dont know why, but I do. I think I need to make another blog( toshi have you found out how to do it yet). I mean I need a private blog to where I could really vent. This past weekend was kool. Friday night, I was bummed out, cause I went to Shuams on thursday. Sat night was kool, the black chippendales. They arent as good as they used to be. I mean when they had Dancing Machine, it was the bomb.

You know, I dont want another single soul, to say I love you... I mean the next time someone says that to me, I will knock the living hell out of them.. I know thats cruical; just being honest. I have gotten to the point of letting my feelings show. I mean now, I aint holding anything back. You will know how I feel upfront. Good or bad ya gonna know it. I am also feeling the wrath of the triffling women again. The old hag is at it again, thats all I am gonna say on that.

Me and nang are doing well again, I am just so proud of that man.

Who you calling a whore?

Ya know it has gotten to the point where other females take stuff to the extreme. As the ones that knows me very well, knows that majority of my friends are male. They are males that I for one dont sleep with. I aint saying I am a but, cant a girl have make friends. Someone came to me today, telling me I need to stop acting like that. I was like acting like what. They told me I talk to so many guys people think that I am a (whore).. Well, for one I aint. Yes I am a sexual person, and I like to get pleased. I dont consider myself as a loosey goosie. I love to have fun, chill, and meet people. The person who came to me with this is a quiet dont get out of the house person. Sometimes I think it is all envy.

I went to Shuams last night, I had a god time. I saw some people there I havent seen in ages.

I also meet my friend there. The one I met last friday night at tiki bobs.

Can you believe that I didnt drink either. For some odd reason I didnt want too. I knew I had to ve at work at 7am, but that used to have not bother me.

All in all I am glad that I went..

The return of 5 eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!

This man, gets on my ever lasting nerve. How about this fool called me, not once but 5 times yesterday. Begging me to come and see him. He even asked to pick me up.

The name of My site was Love, Life, and Pain. Yea I am a big Mary J Blige fan. The slogan was Dymonds are Precious and so is Mahogany.

I tell you some of the stuff I wrote.. I am just a blogging fool.. lol

My Thoughts of Today.. Bad Attitudes....

I know that I am a moody person. I know that at times I can go off on a person. Yet the only time I do that is when they piss me off.

The Holiday season is coming up and I hate retail. I really hate retail, you hear me.

I am a person who works with the public and I tell you the public is not nice. I hate the fact that I have to grin and bare when I get those rude, hateful, immature MFS.

I made a vow to treat people the way I want to be treated. I thought that was a golden rule. Well the people that come into my store don't follow the same rules that I do. They are harsh people.

I know that at this present time people are under a lot of stress. I have one thing to say.. If you weren't so hateful you wouldn't be going through a rough time. Be nice, Be kind, listen to the next person. Always wear a smile on your face even if it hurts.. Treat people with kindness and respect.

If you can not follow those simple rules.. You Suck...

My Thoughts of Today.. Men

I love them Lord knows I do. I just can't get a grip on how SOME of them act. I been trying to figure them out all my life. I guess it goes both ways. I do know I try not to keep them in the guessing field long. I let them know how and why I act the way I do. So what is so hard for them to do the same for me.

I think it started back with my father. He is a non emotional man. He will never show you his weaknesses. He also is not verbal with anything that he has qualms about. Now if he is mad and pissed at you, that is when he lets it all out. (SMH)

It has been years on years I wanted to hear I love you from my dad. Don't get me wrong he is an excellent father. He has always given me what I needed and some of what I wanted. I think the only time he was really there for me was when I was in the hospital near death. I just hate it took that for him to really open up with me. Maybe that is just his way of not letting me see his emotions.

The next man was my 1st love. Now I was 14 years old when I met him. I loved and still love him to death. He was everything a girl could ask for. It was one thing though, I could not tear this man away from the streets. Yea I said it. He was only a year older than me and he was out with his friends and do heaven knows what. He had his 1st child when he was 16 and he was still my boyfriend. (SMH) Every time we broke up, he would pop up with another child. That's when I just had enough of the thug life. He later went to jail and served a few years. He said he is done with all that. So far he has been clean, I just don't know how long that is going to last.

Then we have the last man on my list.. I have been seeing him for the last 5 years. I am so confused when it comes to him. One day he is lovie dovie. The next day he is like hell on feet. I know he loves me, he has proven that over time and time again. I just can't get any sense on why it is so hard for him to COMMIT. I am not asking for much when it comes to him. I think we dated for 3 years before we actually had a relationship. Which that only lasted 3 months. He keeps on saying he is scared and he don't want to hurt me. I want to know what in the hell he is so afraid of.

I came to terms with it all. It is what it is.. Just a freakin friendship... LOL

Men, you can't live with them.. You can't live without them.


"I guess I am better off being single and keep the men as friends."

I will never understand your logic in life...

My Thoughts of Today.. Your Reputation..

reputation [repjuˈteiʃən]the opinion which people in general have about a person etc, a persons's abilities etc.

overall quality or character as seen or judged by people in general b: recognition by other people of some characteristic or ability.


We all try and live the best way that we can. We also try to live up to our reputation and expectations when they are all good.

What does a person do if they get a bad rep? By the things that you might have done in your past. I just feel that everyone deserves a second chance. I never quite understood why people are labeled. I have been victim of having a reputation.

On one hand people hold me to some high extent. I have quite a few people who know me at the lower end of the stick to. You know at one point in our lives we all have been young and dumb.

Why is it so hard to clean up your reputation? When one person says something so negative about you. It will stick with you for the rest of your life. Only to have the good things about you get wash down in the drain.

The only thing I can do is keep my head up. Keep on living and make the best of my life. Sticks and stones may break my bones. Nothing you can say will ever hurt me. Life goes on...

My Thoughts of Today... Gay Marriages...

I am not getting it. I was watching the news and California is now banning same sex marriages. I was thinking that Cali was the state that homosexuals was free to roam.

I tell you I don't think it is right to tell someone they can not marry one another. Heck I have heard cases where a father married his daughter and he got to do so.

How can a person tell me I can not marry who I want? If I happen to fall in love with a woman. I feel that I can not live my life without her. The government will tell me I can not put a ring on her finger.

A lot of people say it is not morally right to do such a thing. A marriage should be between woman and man. Well in some people eyes it might be wrong. I also know people who are church goers say it is not right in God's eyes. Well I say God is a forgiven God. He died for our sins. God always know your heart, he knows everything. So when that time comes and you ask the Lord to forgive you . You turn and give your life to God. I don't believe you are going to hell for love. God is love..

I have family members that are gay. I have for a very long time straddle the fence myself. So I don't think no one should tell me that I am not able to join someone that I love. I think that is why I feel I will never get married. I think it is just a piece of paper that tells the government you are together. Why give them all your business?

So I feel like it is wrong for them to give them that right and then take it away. I pray to my sisters and brothers in the LGBT community. Maybe one day you will get your wish...

My Thought of Today...Phonies...

I had to deal with the most stupidest crap today. The people that speak to me everyday and laugh with me. Did not say one word to me today.

This was the day after Obama won President elect. The people on my job did not speak to me. They had no words for me what so ever. They all knew I was part of the Obama campaign. They knew I know that his character was the better choice for America. America is now be in better hands for all Americans.

It goes to show me no matter how much they say they are not racist. They showed their true colors today. When you say stuff that you don't want me to hear and avoid me. It tells me you are just as bad as the people who would call me a nigger.

What make is so bad, is that it was them that put Obama in office. If things were better for America, Obama wouldn't never ran for President. People black and white, and other races, wanted a change.

I can't stand phony people.. Lord bless those who don't know what in the heck is going on.

My Thoughts of Today.. Barack Obama...

After completing both books on Senator Obama and watching various Biographies on him. I am proud to say I love this man. His road has been a compelling one. I think he is not just a Black man in America. He is America.

He is what America is, a melting pot. He have experienced everything from being a child of Mixed raced to a child living in foreign countries.

I know a lot of folks are scared of the fact that he might be the next President of United States of America. There are even people who wants to cause this man harm.

I sincerely don't get it. If all take a look at his background and read the things he wrote. I think you would also see what a great man he is. I made it my point to read his books. I made it my point not to go by what I hear on tv or read in the magazines and papers.

This what gives me the right to know that my decision on November 4th is the right choice.
He will united us as a country. He will build hope for a better tomorrow. He has spend most of his life trying to find out who he was. He did these things cause he wanted social change. He wanted struggling people not to have to go through the heartache and pains they had to deal with. He wants to make sure every American will get their share of the pie.
I know for one, I want that American dream. I think a lot of us that never had it want it too.

My 4 year old God Daughter Aurie put a smile on my face the other day. We where sitting in the den talking about politics and out of the blue she screams.. Go Obama.. I was never sure where she has heard this, cause she is in bed by the time the debates and stuff are going on. So she is so stuck on saying Barack Obama. I asked her who do she want as President.. She said, Barack Obama... I think she evens have a song she made up with just his name.
So on November 4th are you going to make a change? We see the polls that Obama is leading the country. They are just polls, don't think that people don't change. Make sure you go out to vote. Let's bring America together. Let's unite all people with different backgrounds of race, religion, and creed. Let's give hope for a better future.

We sure do need it...

I am Mahoganydymond and I sponsored this message...