Sand through the Hour Glass... These are the Days of My life....

I don't even know what to say at this point.  I am really a lost for words.  Today wasn't quite my day. It started off Happy to be off from work.   I just knew it was going to be a good day for me. I am trying everyday to look up and smile about the things that matter the most... Me....  Well at least I thought that was going to be the case. Then I get to Wal-Mart and the item that I wanted was there.  So basically  I search around looking for the item.  I ended up finding what I want at Best Buy.  Even that when kinda bad. It seems that they couldn't find it in the store. I told him that on the internet and me calling the store they told me it was plenty.   After getting the item and frustrated at the fact that the service was so horrible.  

I came home to try and get my thoughts together.  I started to clean out my fish tank. I had brought them some new rocks and so forth.  I waited a few hours and tried to return my fish back to the tank... The unthinkable happened.. They both die.... I was like what in the freaking hell is going on here.  I was upset and I just didn't know what had happened. I feel they died cause they didn't like that I changed their surroundings.  Some of it could be cause of me having such a stressful day.  I don't know, but I am truly going to miss Frick and Frat.... I had gotten so used to them. I know I should have waited and cleaned the tank out tomorrow. 

On top of all that mess. You know a few days ago, I talked about how I was getting rid of some ungrateful ass. Well today became so CLEAR that I truly need to hurry up and exit this man right out of my life. He was just so TOXIC to my well-being.  I seen myself going down the road that I once was in.  

As I said I had been there for him. To let him tell it, I was never there.. I don't know where in the hell this was all coming from.. I just know, I am on the road to healing myself. I don't need a selfish, unworthy, and untrustworthy alcoholic...  

I hope that tomorrow has better things in store for me. I can not go through the crap I went through today.. It seems I am always the one that get the rough end of every stick that is thrown at me.  I have tried and tried to be honest with myself. I am really at the point of asking where and when do I catch a break...