Finishing school... I had so many things I wanted to do in life. I wanted to go to college.. I was determined to be a Lawyer... Hell I wanted to be the 1st Black and Woman President... Yet when I got to college.. I bullshytted around. I got tangled up with bug.. He was the bad boy this good girl wanted... So I slacked off and quit college.. He ended up going to jail. I was devastated when that happened... So I failed and never went back. Hell he is no longer my man either.. We still friends but that is about as far as it goes...
Having kids and a family before I was 25.... That was another goal I truly wanted. It could of happened.. It was just a point in my life I got tangled up with a very abusive person. He lead me to the point where I hate I ever went.. I made a BIG mistake when I was a teenager.. (I will not tell you what it is).. Just know that might be the reason to why God punished me with the fact I can not have children. See that was a choice.. I made my bed.. I lay in it EVERYDAY... So when I met the guy I thought I was going to marry.. Everything was good in the beginning. Then it all hit rock bottom once we found out I was pg.. He beat me, cursed me, even told everyone he didn't want me to have children.. So that stress lead me to loose the baby so I thought.. So I stopped trying after 2 failed miscarriages...
Staying at the job I hate so much... Another choice I am making... See the benefits are good... Plus it is a job, I have to have.. So I stay there just cause... In my neck of the woods.. It isn't much to choose from.. So I make the choice to stay there and deal with the crap... One day I will leave if anything better ever comes.
Being Happy.. This is a choice I had to learn.. Yea I was one of those stupid females that felt having a man would make me happy.. Boy, after me and MC broke up FOR good.. I found myself... I learned to love myself.. I had to learn and enjoy life.. I am single for a reason.. I am not ready to give my life to someone unless I KNOW it is going to be a everlasting love..
So you see.. The choices I made in my life.. Makes me human.. I am not perfect and we all have to go through the bad and the ugly just to see the good.. I was off to a rocky start... For now on.. All the CHOICES I make is for the good of me..
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