See the other day one of the people I had to cut out of my life called. She said she missed me and wanted me to accept her apology. I did but I told her I always took up for her, stood by her, and was a friend when no one else wanted to be. So I told her that she has to learn how to deal and talk to people. I am not going to let her sit and treat me any kind of way. I am not going to tolerate that.
We also talked about MC. How me and him was together and him being her daughter's Godfather. That got me to thinking about him all over again. How I miss him so much and we no longer communicate. How he is so able to move on and I am still stuck in this fucking rut. How he is giving this older woman so much he wouldn't even give me. I still feel like shyt. It really makes me feel like that. Its like I wasn't good enough for him.
So while I was at work my attitude and emotions was being really tested. My crackhead cousin came in the store. I already thought to myself, he is in here trying to steal something. I was getting furious. Then he had the nerve to come up to me to talk to me. I don't even like his ass like that. My manager asked me did I know him. I didn't lie. I said yes that is the crackhead of the family. So he was like I can't prove that he stole anything. I do want you to tell him that he better not think about stealing from our store. In ways that made me look bad. I also felt bad, cause it was at my job. So when we eat down my aunties house tomorrow. I have a few choices for the crackhead.
I am at the point to where, I just want to be left alone and shut the phone off. I need time to get back on track. I feel that people don't want to be around me until they need something from me. I think it is high time I get them all tole off. It's just one of those days, that I go through. I hope people don't take it too personal...
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