I was talking to my cousin (best friend) just yesterday. It used to be a point where things were all about me. How I wanted things to go... How I did things just because I was doing me. It gave me such power. I loved it at one point. I tell you though... The backlash of the lifestyle I used to live. It is not good. I now live in a lonely world now.. My karma has finally set in.
I know that I might put to much of my business out here for the world to see. I am just writing what is on my mind. I am writing because in some ways, it might be other people out here going through what I have went through. I don't regret the things I have done. I just wonder what happened.. What made me do the things that I did. Was I that lost to what I didn't really know what was going on.....
I am about to tell you all some things.. I might get a big ole eye roll.. I might get a maybe that is why she acts the way she does type of comment. I am just going to tell you... This post is all about me.. My life, the way I lived, the way I am now getting over it all..
The first thing is.. I am a total freak. Sex used to be a STRONG part of my life. When I say I have done almost everything there is to do sexually I have done it. I played both roles. I was a freak and at some point I might have been a whore.. I loved sex. I needed sex... I needed that physical contact. It didn't matter if was from a guy, girl, or my toys.. It all started early in my teens... I was masturbating at the age of 11... I started fucking at the age of 12... I knew I like girls at the age of 9.. So I don't know what in the hell I went through. I don't remember hardly anything on my childhood.
Then I was constantly dating older guys. At the age of 16 (which people thought I was like 21) I was dating a guy who was already out of school and had children. I think he was like 22 years of age.. He would pick me up everyday and fuck the hell out of me.. When I say I couldn't get enough. He was a small guy.. Yet I would let him play in my pussy all day if he wanted too.. Well after I would leave him.. I would call up another guy and literally beg him to come over after my mother went to sleep...Now he was a BIGGER dude.. Man I loved it.. To this day I sometimes have flashbacks on how good his stuff was...
It hurt me when I found out #1 was messing around with someone else.. Then #2 ended up going to jail.. So there I was... I was not getting dick for a hot minute... That's when I started kicking it with my best friend.. I knew that she was bi at the time.. We always had similar qualities... So we got along good.. (whew I miss her) We ended up having a private thing going on... It was cool while it lasted...
Then back in the mid 90's... I met my match... I met a man that was going to give it to me anyway I wanted it.. I met someone who like my twin soul. He loved sex.. The freakier the better.. I am not going to go into all of the things me and this man used to do.. I will say... It has changed my life forever... So when I say.. Karma is a bitch... I am living it right now...
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